Trying out the relationship thing

[happyguy]

First a quick update on the woman I had met in dance class and forgotten to exchange numbers with... I found her on myspace and said hi, she gave me her number without me even having to ask for it. Went out on a date, made out a bunch, had her falling head over heels for me. All's well there. Problem is...

... there is this other woman I've been seeing for a while who seems totally into me and devoted to me. She treats me like gold. Makes me feel like a million bucks (even when I am not deserving). She is ok looking, but is a terrific companion. Extremely giving, very sexual, very nurturing, very warm and intelligent and self-aware. she's laying out the relationship trap thick and heavy for me.

It is very unusual for me to be getting so much admiration and respect. If I could imagine an ideal relationship dynamic for me, it would be very close to what I have with this woman. I am liking it, but there are a few red flags. She seems extremely possessive. She looked into my cellphone for my sent text messages today. She is soon to be 32 and all her friends are married and have had babies this past year, so I am afraid her attention to me might be a result of her biological clock and peer pressure. I made it clear to her I am not looking to settle down any time soon, but she is a woman, so I don't know how she interpreted it.

My dilemma is this, do I settle down with a HB7 to explore what could be a fulfilling relationship, or do I keep messing around and meeting other women? I am 27 myself. It seems to me it could be a good relationship (I could talk her into respecting my privacy and not snoop around on me). At what stage do you stop macking around and live out the relationship you've been searching for? I could use some input from experienced people.

 

[B4IFURU18?]

Not sure why you need the advice of other people for this. If you have to ask, you probably shouldn't.

It sounds like you really like her, and it's obvious she likes you. But, it's also apparent you want to chase ass, and I don't blame you.

At some point, the relationship has to get serious or she'll lose interest. How long have you two been dating?

 

[comic_relief]

I'm sorry that I cannot be much help to you on this subject since I am only 20 years old, but I can tell one thing is that you can use this as subject material and food for thought. I believe that you should make this decision on your own.

Although, I would be scared of possessive girls. I try not to stay next to them at all. I treat the text message as a MAJOR red flag. My girlfriend doesn't go through any of my stuff.

comic_relief

 

[happyguy]

Yes, the going through the phone is what is making me ask for second opinions... I will probably have to call her out on it and establish some ground rules. She seems very eager about the exclusive relationship, and was throwing a royal tantrum today because I was being vague about the other women I was seeing. In context, the phone intrusion seemed a little understandable, but I still didn't like that she did it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Be in a relationship if you truly want to be in one. If you are unsure of your capability to choose a woman who's suitable for you, then don't. IF you want a viable relationship, it shouldn't be taken lightly and it should be pursued purposely, confidently and with clarity.

 

[Phyzzle]

I think it's important to know how long you've been dating.

Plus, does she ever go an entire weekend without calling you? And would that make you angry? Do you subtly expect or demand that she NOT be out with other guys?

What I'm driving at, is that you might be one of those douchebags who keeps leading her on for "safety sex," denies her the chance to build a relationship with another guy, while dropping hints that that you'll propose "sooner or later Duurrr (snicker)."

She has made her desire for exclusiveness clear. If it's been more than 6 months together, then quit waffling and say 'yes' or 'no'.

I was being vague about the other women I was seeing.

Being vague about exclusiveness is not the way to go.