Ken785
Master Don Juan
What im looking for is advice on how i can detach her from him?...Iceberg said:Cool. So I guess that makes this thread, and the advice given to you by caring posters, completely useless then, doesn't it?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
What im looking for is advice on how i can detach her from him?...Iceberg said:Cool. So I guess that makes this thread, and the advice given to you by caring posters, completely useless then, doesn't it?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
By walking away. That will either make her realize what she is losing in you and she will come running, or if she stays with the guy, will make you realize where her priorities lay...IE with him.Ken785 said:What im looking for is advice on how i can detach her from him?...
No. Not as long as you want her to leave the guy...IE have feelings for her. Only hurting yourself. Plenty of single girls with no baggage out there.Ken785 said:I think she thinks the benefits of her staying with him and the "partnership, and his helping her " is too good to her right now...
Should i just keep hitting it until this guy cant stand it anymore and leaves? (if ever he will)
Ken785 said:What im looking for is advice on how i can detach her from him?...
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I'll admit that i am attached. I think besides the fact that shes sleeping with us both, she says she doesnt want to hurt either of us....besides that...shes hard to find. She cooks, cleans, is caring, smart, ambitious and family oriented...overall great girl if you minus the situation. I want her for myself, yes.Danger said:Why on earth would you want this girl? The fact that you want the other man out of the picture *shows* us all that you do have feelings for her, despite not admitting it.
This thread is a perfect example of people who ask for advice and do not take it. Why are you even asking then??
You are asking us how to keep this girl for yourself. Our collective answer is, we will not help you with that because it is not a worthwhile investment.
You have serious inner game issues (confidence) if you are willing to put up with this $hit.
Yep this is exactly the type of situation you read about, (in fact it just happened not long ago-was all over the news) where a guy goes nutso and does a murder suicide. Taking out his girl and anyone she has slept with.Delly2000 said:Get a grip Ken..while u still can. This girl is crazy. The other guy is a big time loser. Probably a nice guy..but he got it bad. This girl is ruining his life. Can this guy even look himself in the mirror and call himself a man? It is just so depressing man. You don't want that to be you. Deal with the pain and let her go.
Knocking on a womans door after a man just finished shafting her and he is lying naked next to her has got to be one of the most humiliating undignifiying experiences in life for a man.
This guy really doesn't have anything over you. You are at the point where u can walk a away. Just do it.
I know this guy seems like a real chump. But the reality of the situation is that this could turn dangerous at any moment.
^Second the motion. NOW is the time to "quit while you are ahead.". Cash out your chips and leave the casino.cordoncordon said:Yep this is exactly the type of situation you read about, (in fact it just happened not long ago-was all over the news) where a guy goes nutso and does a murder suicide. Taking out his girl and anyone she has slept with.
NOT worth the trouble.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Ken785 said:I refuse to just walk away and "let him have her"...id rather keep fvcking her and make his life miserable and not left him have peace.
Maybe youre right, I think the reason for my resentment towards him is i think we would have been together had he not started crying when she met me. Thats where i place the blame, but i guess i resent her too...the further this goes on...the more of a piece of meat she is to me, maybe its because shes so nice to me and does stuff for me like a GF, so im attached.romangod said:Huh?
Man.................... No offense but you're a few fries short of a Happy Meal.
This guy is not what's holding back the greatest romance since Romeo & Juliet. She's playing two AFCs and you think he's the biggest obstacle? Time for a reality check.
It's her!
Obviously, you're determined to be a lamb being led to slaughter. Don't insult us by making your fellow chump the root and focus of all your problems.
Personally, I think you're beyond help. Still, good luck in your venture. You'll need it.
Cheers!
You guys cant be serious...DMSR76 said:I get the feeling this is gonna end badly. Hope I don't see this story on Dateline.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I have high stands as far as looks...believe me..she is...why do you think ive been messing with her for a year?Serialized3 said:The only way this behavior would be acceptable is if this girl is way hot. Then I could see putting up with all the bull****. But if she's less than an 8, then you sir, are a chump.
Personally, I don't agree with this. Because a girl is hot is no reason to give up your dignity and self-respect.Serialized3 said:The only way this behavior would be acceptable is if this girl is way hot. Then I could see putting up with all the bull****. But if she's less than an 8, then you sir, are a chump.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.