Clockwerk50
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2023
- Messages
- 2,256
- Reaction score
- 2,251
- Age
- 41
I am writing this as a journal and to get input from members with experience as to why I am feeling like this. Maybe I am having tunnel vision, so more perspectives are welcomed, especially on what I might be missing, what is driving these feelings, and whether I am reacting properly. I am a little hesitant to post this, but here it goes.
Background:
I met an Eastern European woman at an inter-company co-ed soccer tournament who had a thing for Latin men. She speaks four languages, including Spanish, and we hung out a couple of times until we eventually had sex. From September 2024 until August 2025, we saw each other almost once per week, slept together every two weeks, maybe more frequently, and spoke daily until we eventually went our separate ways. Her whole deal was that she just wanted a superficial sexual relationship, but after I told her that I saw her as more than sex, she eventually saw me as more than that.
Her background here is that she is married. It took me almost a whole year for her to tell me the whole story, but her husband cheated on her twice. She found out once when she found a picture of another woman on their matrimonial bed on his phone, and another time when she followed him while he was going to rendezvous with another woman. Therefore, their dynamic was to sleep in separate bedrooms and live apart within the same household. Everything was super discreet where apparently only her mom that lives with them and I knew about this, while they portrayed a perfect marriage to neighbours, friends, colleagues, etc. I only had her work phone number to contact her; I didn't know where she lived, her socials, nothing. Her excuse for not getting divorced at the time, and having to wait at least 15 years, was that they have a super expensive mortgage because they own a big home near the downtown area, and she has some locked assets that she can only withdraw in 15 years. There is also money involved from an inheritance that her dad left her when he passed away. Overall, she wanted revenge sex and to feel wanted.
Our issues mostly consisted of me not going out with her on the weekends, like going dancing or attending sports events, or sometimes not texting her at night. But we mostly made up and kept going. We took a break for eight weeks when I went out of the country, and she still waited for me until I came back, since the agreement was to speak to her every day. When she decided to take a step back in August 2025, she left for a week-long trip, but when she came back, she wanted to squash things out. I kind of said I had another trip planned in two weeks, and when I came back, she again wanted to talk. But I was not only tired of the situation; my ego was also involved, so I told her we could be friends since I had too much on my plate at the time.
After Separation:
Since then, I only initiated texting twice, during Christmas and on her birthday, while she initiated once on my birthday. Nonetheless, I saw her in person four times since then through trade shows.
The first one was two months after the breakup. She was grieving the end of it, had pierced her ears, wanted to get a puppy, and was talking about life-changing decisions like getting a new tattoo. We were friendly but she was still sad.
The second time was in April 2026. Again, we were friendly, and we spoke for about five minutes while her colleagues were there.
The third time was in June. She was alone. She mentioned that her husband was in Montreal with his lover for his birthday week. She was extremely flirty, and we talked about how we still think about our sex marathons. She mentioned that I won't have a birthday as good as the one I had when I was with her, since it was f*ck marathon with a bunch of gifts that were special to me. We talked about what could be arranged so we could work together at each other's companies since I was bored in my role and we could see each other every day. I told her that by the end of September, I should be done with all my responsibilities.
Current Issues and Feedback Needed:
I saw this girl for the 4th time at another trade show last week, two months after the last conversation. I isolated her, and this is what she said:
So last Tuesday, against my better judgment, I called her to tell her how the soccer tournament went. We spoke for like 15 minutes. I teased her, but she laughed and didn't tease back. She asked me if I was going to a 1K cancer walk/run this weekend. I said no, but I would donate. She asked me to donate on her page since she is walking, which I did, and I said I would do it as anonymous. I told her I had an important meeting today, and then she had to run because of this project.
She didn't say thank you for the donation or ask me how my meeting was. Also, I feel like I have to put all the effort here and I am not getting an entry point either, maybe because of the new guy or the project. So what I am thinking is as follows:
So this is where you, the reader, come in. What am I missing here?
For the record: There is one woman I am seeing, a white girl, although I find her unpassionate and dry. There is also another Chinese woman who doesn't leave me alone, but I don't feel much attraction toward her and her Teletubbies and Pokémon bags lol.
Background:
I met an Eastern European woman at an inter-company co-ed soccer tournament who had a thing for Latin men. She speaks four languages, including Spanish, and we hung out a couple of times until we eventually had sex. From September 2024 until August 2025, we saw each other almost once per week, slept together every two weeks, maybe more frequently, and spoke daily until we eventually went our separate ways. Her whole deal was that she just wanted a superficial sexual relationship, but after I told her that I saw her as more than sex, she eventually saw me as more than that.
Her background here is that she is married. It took me almost a whole year for her to tell me the whole story, but her husband cheated on her twice. She found out once when she found a picture of another woman on their matrimonial bed on his phone, and another time when she followed him while he was going to rendezvous with another woman. Therefore, their dynamic was to sleep in separate bedrooms and live apart within the same household. Everything was super discreet where apparently only her mom that lives with them and I knew about this, while they portrayed a perfect marriage to neighbours, friends, colleagues, etc. I only had her work phone number to contact her; I didn't know where she lived, her socials, nothing. Her excuse for not getting divorced at the time, and having to wait at least 15 years, was that they have a super expensive mortgage because they own a big home near the downtown area, and she has some locked assets that she can only withdraw in 15 years. There is also money involved from an inheritance that her dad left her when he passed away. Overall, she wanted revenge sex and to feel wanted.
Our issues mostly consisted of me not going out with her on the weekends, like going dancing or attending sports events, or sometimes not texting her at night. But we mostly made up and kept going. We took a break for eight weeks when I went out of the country, and she still waited for me until I came back, since the agreement was to speak to her every day. When she decided to take a step back in August 2025, she left for a week-long trip, but when she came back, she wanted to squash things out. I kind of said I had another trip planned in two weeks, and when I came back, she again wanted to talk. But I was not only tired of the situation; my ego was also involved, so I told her we could be friends since I had too much on my plate at the time.
After Separation:
Since then, I only initiated texting twice, during Christmas and on her birthday, while she initiated once on my birthday. Nonetheless, I saw her in person four times since then through trade shows.
The first one was two months after the breakup. She was grieving the end of it, had pierced her ears, wanted to get a puppy, and was talking about life-changing decisions like getting a new tattoo. We were friendly but she was still sad.
The second time was in April 2026. Again, we were friendly, and we spoke for about five minutes while her colleagues were there.
The third time was in June. She was alone. She mentioned that her husband was in Montreal with his lover for his birthday week. She was extremely flirty, and we talked about how we still think about our sex marathons. She mentioned that I won't have a birthday as good as the one I had when I was with her, since it was f*ck marathon with a bunch of gifts that were special to me. We talked about what could be arranged so we could work together at each other's companies since I was bored in my role and we could see each other every day. I told her that by the end of September, I should be done with all my responsibilities.
Current Issues and Feedback Needed:
I saw this girl for the 4th time at another trade show last week, two months after the last conversation. I isolated her, and this is what she said:
- She is happy. She met someone new.
- She started the divorce process. No one knows about it except her mom, me, and, I assume, the new guy. It appears to take about two years.
- The new guy is more jealous of me than her husband.
- She is not going to the yearly soccer tournament, which happened last Saturday, because she doesn't want to bring the whole family; they have an uncle's birthday.
- She has no beef with me because I made her feel special, important, and desirable and made her feel she deserves better.
- She said she didn't expect to meet someone new on our last conversation.
- She saw her husband's extended family, who live in a different country, and helped her close the book and say goodbye to them, even though they are clueless about what is happening in their relationship.
- She offered a hug after we said bye, and then a pat on the back
So last Tuesday, against my better judgment, I called her to tell her how the soccer tournament went. We spoke for like 15 minutes. I teased her, but she laughed and didn't tease back. She asked me if I was going to a 1K cancer walk/run this weekend. I said no, but I would donate. She asked me to donate on her page since she is walking, which I did, and I said I would do it as anonymous. I told her I had an important meeting today, and then she had to run because of this project.
She didn't say thank you for the donation or ask me how my meeting was. Also, I feel like I have to put all the effort here and I am not getting an entry point either, maybe because of the new guy or the project. So what I am thinking is as follows:
- Text Tuesday: Ask her about the 1K and ask her out.
- Text in three months to see if the guy is still in the picture, and if he is, three months after that.
- Go no contact.
So this is where you, the reader, come in. What am I missing here?
For the record: There is one woman I am seeing, a white girl, although I find her unpassionate and dry. There is also another Chinese woman who doesn't leave me alone, but I don't feel much attraction toward her and her Teletubbies and Pokémon bags lol.
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