"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Top 10 greatest little pleasures in life

A

anjellara

Guest
Top 10 greatest little pleasures in life:
1. A good night’s sleep
2. Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket
3. Cuddling up with a partner in bed
4. Crying with laughter
5. Having a lie-in
6. Sleeping in newly laundered bedding
7. Getting a bargain
8. Making someone smile
9. Catching up with an old friend
10. Laughing at things that have happened in the past
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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horaholic

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The Op couldnt POSSIBLY be a woman, could she?
 

radiodude

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anjellara said:
Top 10 greatest little pleasures in life:
1. A good night’s sleep
2. Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket
3. Cuddling up with a partner in bed
4. Crying with laughter
5. Having a lie-in
6. Sleeping in newly laundered bedding
7. Getting a bargain
8. Making someone smile
9. Catching up with an old friend
10. Laughing at things that have happened in the past
And now back to Delilah and more of your Lite favorties on...."The Lite FM"
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Ease

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horaholic said:
The Op couldnt POSSIBLY be a woman, could she?
Exactly what i thought when i read number 3.

Sounds like my ex.
 

DJDamage

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The list is only half right, its just missing big pieces of information which I will happilyfill in:

anjellara said:
Top 10 greatest little pleasures in life:
1. A good night’s sleep - AFTER SEX
2. Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket - BETTER AFTER SEX WITHOUT TAKING HER TO DINNER AND PAYING OVER $40 FOR IT
3. Cuddling up with a partner in bed - AFTER SEX
4. Crying with laughter - AFTER SEX
5. Having a lie-in - AFTER SEX WHEN WE DO IT IN A DARK ALLEY OR THE PARK
6. Sleeping in newly laundered bedding- AFTER SEX
7. Getting a bargain - SEX WITHOUT SPENDING A SINGLE CENT
8. Making someone smile - DURING AND AFTER SEX
9. Catching up with an old friend - AN OLD FU^CK BUDDY COMING AROUND AGAIN? SCORE!
10. Laughing at things that have happened in the past-WHY? AM I 80 YEARS OLD AND CAN'T HAVE SEX ANYMORE?
 

Desdinova

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1) Masturbation
2) Sex
3) Sexy women in tight clothes
4) Eating fresh kill
5) Beer
6) Power tools
7) 4x4s
8) Free money
9) Women who cook and clean
10) Freedom
 

Taviii

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Florida
Order not important

Sports
Computers
Chess
Books
Beer
Girls
Outdoors
Politics
Smoking
Friends
 

ThunderMaverick

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anjellara said:
Top 10 greatest little pleasures in life:
1. A good night’s sleep
2. Finding a forgotten tenner in your pocket
3. Cuddling up with a partner in bed
4. Crying with laughter
5. Having a lie-in
6. Sleeping in newly laundered bedding
7. Getting a bargain
8. Making someone smile
9. Catching up with an old friend
10. Laughing at things that have happened in the past
Call me Chris Crocker, but I have to agree with most of that stuff.

Conan's best should also be on this list.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

mpimpin

Master Don Juan
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A great night's sleep after working all day

a cold beer or dip after working

New piece of expensive technology

throwing it in 4WD and getting unstuck

Paying off a bill
 

backbreaker

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1. good head
2. opening the first drink on a saturday morning with college football on
3. watching my son slobber on my face trying to wake me up every morning.
4. watching texas lose at anythnig they do
5. going to be knowing you did everything you were supposed to do
6. hitting the alarm and rolling back over
7. a good hot shower
8. a good homecooked meal
9 going to a car dealership and looking at a car and when they run your credit, knowing they aren't going to try to run you out of the store (my credit was crap when i was young)
10. sitting back wtih my 2 old friends and having a good ole fashioned twisted metal black party. best multiplayer game of all timeIMHO
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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