"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Too uptight?

C

CactusMcDougal

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Hello, everyone. I'm terribly sorry for disappearing like that. I'm sure no one cares, but I did disappear nonetheless.

Either way, during my absence, I fell into a deep, AFC-induced depression and was forced to go see a shrink and a therapist. The shrink told me what I already knew; about my OCD, social avoidance disorder, etc. My therapist, amongst the Dr. Phil-esque dreck, left me a note saying "In my personal opinion, your social problems stem from the fact that you're too uptight. <smiley face>" (I'm not sure if he was being facetious or something.)

My question to you, dear SoSuave, is how does one stop being "uptight?" What precisely does my therapist mean by that? (I am cognizant of its dictionary definition, but am unsure of how it is applied to social labels.)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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D

dot

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I think most problems are confidence related, including mine. You must have had moments with really good friends or at least family that you can have a really great time with, and you're very confident and you don't worry about anything.
 
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Steg

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Well that's a deep Q. If you'r too uptight then it's hard to know what exactly to do, no offense. Sorta like a cath 22.

When people are making fun of something or doing something less than polite do you balk at them? Seriosly, though qualified or not, dont take his words as the gospel.
 
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GaryUranga

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Utight = Tense, in the psychological way, youre tense psychologically, youre worrying, when it comes to interacting youre worrying so much that you act overly polite or according to the rules, so much that it feels unnatural, that is uptightness, PM me if you wanna hear more about it :p
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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GaryUranga

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lol therapists are really weird people, at school there was a psychologist teaching psychology, she was this old lady that wore mini-skirts and tons of makeup, acted like she was one of the girls in our class and even flirted with some of my friends, weird people.. really, anyways he was probably joking and hes kinda right tho, just work on it
 
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