"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Too old for friends?

SgtSplacker

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Is it possible to be too old for friends?

As you get older your priorities inevitably shift. You're making more money working, but have less time to socialize. So you focus on trying to spend that spare time with women rather than your friends.

Friends are awesome, nobody want's to turn their back on their friends of course. But is it really a bad thing?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Splacker,
I think Sam is right,there are things your mates offer you that no Woman can!....Sadly friends tend to move on so it is necessary to keep adding more,as Sam says just like Spinning Plates!
 

Colossus

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I think it sucks. And I think it's a choice people passively make.

Who says that once you pass 30 you start losing your friends? I get that your responsibilities increase, but I seriously think the main reason men lose friends is because of 1) kids, and 2) women.

Most LTR/married women would be content if they were your only friend in life. Their demands of you increase, then you start buying expensive sh!t like a house and start having expensive responsibilities like kids, and boom.....every moment of free time you have is now accounted for.

I'm not going to lie, I resent it when my buddies shirk friendship time for home/wifely/child obligations. To an extent it is necessary, I get that; but on the other hand I think it's weak to just let your bros completely slip away like that. Male friendships are longer-lasting and fulfilling in a much different way than women.
 

SteR

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This is definitely a phenomenon I've noticed recently. I've suddenly lost a huge chunk of my social circle due to their commitments to partners/kids. It totally sucks but it doesn't make me want to cut them out my life.

As Scara mentioned above, I think your friends provide you with so much more than what a woman can so it's good to make the effort..
 

speed dawg

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Coming from a married guy with two kids, I can tell you that it's tough to get away, I mean, if you really want to raise your kids right. But I still do it. The way I look at it, if you're too busy for something, you really don't care that much about it. I make time for my male friends. I have one guy that I watch baseball with, another that I hunt/fish/golf with. A few more here or there. I make time to do those things, that's how males bond. Hopefully I'll do those things in the future with my son as well.

No offense OP, but I think that if you are wondering if having no friends is a good idea, that sort of signals to me that you want to avoid having friends for some undisclosed reason, not because you don't really have time for them.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Willard

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I'm a little older than you and I make new male friends at meetup groups, running groups, martial arts and other social events. I love women and meet them as often as possible, but they want something from me and I don't completely trust them. Where my male friends don't want anything from me and I can trust them for the most part.
 

SgtSplacker

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I'm not trying to cut anyone out of my life or anything, I have lots of friends. I just catch myself feeling a little guilty when i'm not as available as I once was. Then i'm caught between "bro's before HO's" and some other thing that has to do with a man's responsibilities.

I dunno, I heard a song lyric that talked about being too old for friends and just got to thinking if it really should be like that..
 

G_Govan

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I'd be careful with becoming indifferent to your male friends. Men who do that tend to be quite devastated if their LTR doesn't work out.

It's the culture more than anything. We're all conditioned to do whatever it is that the wife/kids want before ourselves, to the point of becoming completely dependent.

I have a friend who spends hours a day with his daughter. Nothing at all wrong with it, but it gets to a point where I think it's unhealthy to spend so much time feeding her attention. I can already see the spoiled brat in her emerging. She's the kind of kid that has very little humility and will expect people to do things for her, to the point that it's cringe-worthy to watch.

I'm not implying anyone here does this, but children these days are much more catered to and spoiled. As are women. It's ok to make time for yourself and hang with friends once in a while. It keeps you balanced.

Don't throw your friends away, you may need them in the future.
 

Big Nuts

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I have many male friends, some for over 30 years now....I have no female friends...women are for fvcking.....I'd rather golf with my buddies than listen to a female complain or have re-tarded expectations....

Nothing better than swilling beers with my boys after a round of golf and talking about pursuits and even women's t!ts.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Mike32ct

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You're never too old for your friends. The problem is the buddy's WIFEY will HATE you if you are SINGLE even though you've treated her respectfully and have always been there for her husband.

I love my two married guy friends (and hate the need to say the required no homo disclaimer), but I accept the fact that their wives hate my guts.

For some reason, a single guy friend is, under hamster logic, considered a THREAT to their marriage. I don't know why. Am I going to take him to the bar and hook him up with a chick so he can cheat on his wife LOL?

Hell, my own brother's wife is exactly the same. She's nice to my face but secretly hates my guts because I'm single.
 

SgtSplacker

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Mike32ct said:
You're never too old for your friends. The problem is the buddy's WIFEY will HATE you if you are SINGLE even though you've treated her respectfully and have always been there for her husband.

I love my two married guy friends (and hate the need to say the required no homo disclaimer), but I accept the fact that their wives hate my guts.

For some reason, a single guy friend is, under hamster logic, considered a THREAT to their marriage. I don't know why. Am I going to take him to the bar and hook him up with a chick so he can cheat on his wife LOL?

Hell, my own brother's wife is exactly the same. She's nice to my face but secretly hates my guts because I'm single.
To me that friend hate means that her friends are always trying to hook her up with guys. So that means she is talking jazz about her husband to cause them to think that is appropriate.

Now there is also that you are an active member here, so I can only assume she has heard you talk about gaming women or maybe your buddy has spoken to her about your conversations...
 

Mike32ct

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SgtSplacker said:
To me that friend hate means that her friends are always trying to hook her up with guys. So that means she is talking jazz about her husband to cause them to think that is appropriate.

Now there is also that you are an active member here, so I can only assume she has heard you talk about gaming women or maybe your buddy has spoken to her about your conversations...
They know about my past Vegas trips. I'm sure they put two and two together lol.
 

SgtSplacker

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Mike32ct said:
They know about my past Vegas trips. I'm sure they put two and two together lol.
Call foul on her then.

Everybody knows what happens in Vegas....
 

Mike32ct

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SgtSplacker said:
Call foul on her then.

Everybody knows what happens in Vegas....
The Strip is in Paradise, NV. What happens in Vegas, didn't actually happen in Vegas :). Unless you were in Downtown.

But all kidding aside, I don't take it personally. It's kind of amusing.

To finally get back on topic, my point was that some friends fade away because of pressure from their wives or LTR girlfriends. I don't agree with that, but it happens. Otherwise, I think a lot of men would be lifelong friends.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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