"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Too old for friends?

SgtSplacker

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Is it possible to be too old for friends?

As you get older your priorities inevitably shift. You're making more money working, but have less time to socialize. So you focus on trying to spend that spare time with women rather than your friends.

Friends are awesome, nobody want's to turn their back on their friends of course. But is it really a bad thing?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Splacker,
I think Sam is right,there are things your mates offer you that no Woman can!....Sadly friends tend to move on so it is necessary to keep adding more,as Sam says just like Spinning Plates!
 

Colossus

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I think it sucks. And I think it's a choice people passively make.

Who says that once you pass 30 you start losing your friends? I get that your responsibilities increase, but I seriously think the main reason men lose friends is because of 1) kids, and 2) women.

Most LTR/married women would be content if they were your only friend in life. Their demands of you increase, then you start buying expensive sh!t like a house and start having expensive responsibilities like kids, and boom.....every moment of free time you have is now accounted for.

I'm not going to lie, I resent it when my buddies shirk friendship time for home/wifely/child obligations. To an extent it is necessary, I get that; but on the other hand I think it's weak to just let your bros completely slip away like that. Male friendships are longer-lasting and fulfilling in a much different way than women.
 

SteR

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This is definitely a phenomenon I've noticed recently. I've suddenly lost a huge chunk of my social circle due to their commitments to partners/kids. It totally sucks but it doesn't make me want to cut them out my life.

As Scara mentioned above, I think your friends provide you with so much more than what a woman can so it's good to make the effort..
 

speed dawg

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Coming from a married guy with two kids, I can tell you that it's tough to get away, I mean, if you really want to raise your kids right. But I still do it. The way I look at it, if you're too busy for something, you really don't care that much about it. I make time for my male friends. I have one guy that I watch baseball with, another that I hunt/fish/golf with. A few more here or there. I make time to do those things, that's how males bond. Hopefully I'll do those things in the future with my son as well.

No offense OP, but I think that if you are wondering if having no friends is a good idea, that sort of signals to me that you want to avoid having friends for some undisclosed reason, not because you don't really have time for them.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Willard

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I'm a little older than you and I make new male friends at meetup groups, running groups, martial arts and other social events. I love women and meet them as often as possible, but they want something from me and I don't completely trust them. Where my male friends don't want anything from me and I can trust them for the most part.
 

SgtSplacker

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I'm not trying to cut anyone out of my life or anything, I have lots of friends. I just catch myself feeling a little guilty when i'm not as available as I once was. Then i'm caught between "bro's before HO's" and some other thing that has to do with a man's responsibilities.

I dunno, I heard a song lyric that talked about being too old for friends and just got to thinking if it really should be like that..
 

G_Govan

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I'd be careful with becoming indifferent to your male friends. Men who do that tend to be quite devastated if their LTR doesn't work out.

It's the culture more than anything. We're all conditioned to do whatever it is that the wife/kids want before ourselves, to the point of becoming completely dependent.

I have a friend who spends hours a day with his daughter. Nothing at all wrong with it, but it gets to a point where I think it's unhealthy to spend so much time feeding her attention. I can already see the spoiled brat in her emerging. She's the kind of kid that has very little humility and will expect people to do things for her, to the point that it's cringe-worthy to watch.

I'm not implying anyone here does this, but children these days are much more catered to and spoiled. As are women. It's ok to make time for yourself and hang with friends once in a while. It keeps you balanced.

Don't throw your friends away, you may need them in the future.
 

Big Nuts

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I have many male friends, some for over 30 years now....I have no female friends...women are for fvcking.....I'd rather golf with my buddies than listen to a female complain or have re-tarded expectations....

Nothing better than swilling beers with my boys after a round of golf and talking about pursuits and even women's t!ts.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mike32ct

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You're never too old for your friends. The problem is the buddy's WIFEY will HATE you if you are SINGLE even though you've treated her respectfully and have always been there for her husband.

I love my two married guy friends (and hate the need to say the required no homo disclaimer), but I accept the fact that their wives hate my guts.

For some reason, a single guy friend is, under hamster logic, considered a THREAT to their marriage. I don't know why. Am I going to take him to the bar and hook him up with a chick so he can cheat on his wife LOL?

Hell, my own brother's wife is exactly the same. She's nice to my face but secretly hates my guts because I'm single.
 

SgtSplacker

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Mike32ct said:
You're never too old for your friends. The problem is the buddy's WIFEY will HATE you if you are SINGLE even though you've treated her respectfully and have always been there for her husband.

I love my two married guy friends (and hate the need to say the required no homo disclaimer), but I accept the fact that their wives hate my guts.

For some reason, a single guy friend is, under hamster logic, considered a THREAT to their marriage. I don't know why. Am I going to take him to the bar and hook him up with a chick so he can cheat on his wife LOL?

Hell, my own brother's wife is exactly the same. She's nice to my face but secretly hates my guts because I'm single.
To me that friend hate means that her friends are always trying to hook her up with guys. So that means she is talking jazz about her husband to cause them to think that is appropriate.

Now there is also that you are an active member here, so I can only assume she has heard you talk about gaming women or maybe your buddy has spoken to her about your conversations...
 

Mike32ct

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SgtSplacker said:
To me that friend hate means that her friends are always trying to hook her up with guys. So that means she is talking jazz about her husband to cause them to think that is appropriate.

Now there is also that you are an active member here, so I can only assume she has heard you talk about gaming women or maybe your buddy has spoken to her about your conversations...
They know about my past Vegas trips. I'm sure they put two and two together lol.
 

SgtSplacker

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Mike32ct said:
They know about my past Vegas trips. I'm sure they put two and two together lol.
Call foul on her then.

Everybody knows what happens in Vegas....
 

Mike32ct

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SgtSplacker said:
Call foul on her then.

Everybody knows what happens in Vegas....
The Strip is in Paradise, NV. What happens in Vegas, didn't actually happen in Vegas :). Unless you were in Downtown.

But all kidding aside, I don't take it personally. It's kind of amusing.

To finally get back on topic, my point was that some friends fade away because of pressure from their wives or LTR girlfriends. I don't agree with that, but it happens. Otherwise, I think a lot of men would be lifelong friends.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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