"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Too much control over a woman

Michele l'Arcangelo

Master Don Juan
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I can't find many posts on this.

I hate to even write this, and even think about it, because it subconsciously makes me think about it even more. I want to put it in the back of my mind and forget about it, but it's starting to bug me.

I'm having too much control over my girl, and I love the chase. I got her after a few weeks of talking, and we've been great for months. But, it seems like the "honeymoon" period is over, it's inevitable, but it seems like I'm losing interest.

She's perfect for me in every odd way. We have uncommon things in common, a lot of them. But I just have TOO much control. The ball is in my court too much. I know I'm complaining about something that some of you wish you had... but this isn't as good as you would think.

I would never tell her what to do, who to talk to or who to not talk to, but I know she would listen to me if I told her to do whatever. I wouldn't do it, because it's MY characteristic to not limit a girl. She can do whatever she pleases. And, I even told her where I draw the line, and she knows if she crosses it, I'll move on. This is great. But, it's like, TOO easy.

I have a lot of respect for her, for the good head on her shoulders, and her upbringing, she's a good girl when it comes to morals. She would never ever think about cheating. Guys dig her, which I love. I also like the fact that she would never do anything, because she knows the consequences, and the fact she wouldn't do it because morals. She has no interest in doing so.

Something about her is making me slowly lose interest and I don't want to, because I really actually care about a girl for once. She's really different from other girls I've known.

I even straight up told her one day to keep doing what she used to do while I was chasing her, playing hot and cold, and try to keep me on my toes. But, just the fact that I said that, makes me feel like when I tell her to do that, and she does, is because she cares too much and does "play" hot and cold... because I told her to!

I've pinpointed why I'm losing interest:
- I've won her, the chase is over.
- I have control over her actions and feelings without even trying.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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5string

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
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Standing At The Crossroads
How do you have too much control if you don't tell her what to do, and you let her do as she pleases? Please elaborate on too much control. Examples?

It sounds like you are bored to a degree. True?

What do you think is the "something about her" that is making you lose interest?

Could it be that you desire a new woman? Maybe it's just you if that's the case.

Sorry for playing 20 questions.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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horaholic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
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Let this be a lesson. That is why chicks get bored with great guys so easily.
 
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