Too good to be true?: Insecurity, suspicion, etc.

[mikedee]

So after 6.5 months, she left me. She was not officially my "girlfriend" yet, but I was expecting a LTR with her, I was ok with that.

The reason: "I don't know where I am in my life right now, I need time to find out. I don't have the emotional energy to be in a relationship right now, I might go back home for a few months" bla bla... Classic. I wished her good luck and said goodbye.

I am disappointed, I don't feel well right now but it's alright. I just need a few weeks to forget her, I'll be fine. I don't think she has met somebody else or want to party, from what I know she is know, she is not that type girl. But who knows, at this point, it's none of my business and I shouldn't worry about that. I know she is overwhelmed at work and she is a very moody person, very unstable emotionally, unpredictable. One day she is up and happy, the next day she is down and she doesn't want to talk to anybody (it can last for days, even weeks).

I really liked her, we had fun together, I loved her vibe and we really connected. I live abroad and I feel lonely sometimes, so I had someone in my life, a presence. She was my girl and my friend at the same time. We used to hang out with her friends, it was nice, cool people. Now I'm back to case 1, on my own. Fortunately I'm very independent and I always keep myself busy.

I've learned a lesson though. I've let myself slip, I've caught feeling for her even if I had my guard up. I had noticed in the very first weeks that she was moody and up and down, unstable. I thought, well it's not that bad, it was more of "yellow flag" than a red flag. She did some things that I didn't really like but I decide to ignore it. I feel that I've wasted my time. At least I had sex with her a few times... One more girl on my list, she ended my 2 year dry spell.

I will keep trying to meet new girls, I have a lot of interesting projects coming, I'm pretty excited but now I feel like ****. In the future I will not invest myself emotionally, this story again confirms that we cannot rely on them. Good thing she left me after 6.5 months and not 5-6 years...

I wouldn't be surprised if she comes back, I hope she won't.

 

[Dr.Suave]

4.5 months!? She doesnt need a man. And she doesnt need sex either, apparently.

Again, Im happy you sealed the deal, but something is rubbing me off the wrong way. Hopefully its nothing but be on the lookout for red flags, just in case.

Called It. Im sorry @mikedee But on the bright side you banged her at least once, so you "won". That's How I like to look at this.

You Will come back from this, stronger AND wiser. We always do.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

At least I had sex with her a few times...

please tell me it was more than a “few” times in 6 months…

 

[Gamisch]

Man this thread is gold. Way way way too much is going on. Tons of valuable lessons can be learned from this. It read like a dairy from a typical beta AFC. Filled with white lies, denial and ofcourse with a VERY predictable outcome.

I dont know where to start...let me just get started...

So after 6.5 months, she left me. She was not officially my "girlfriend" yet, but I was expecting a LTR with her, I was ok with that.

You've been warned for literally months. Instead if taking advice you even had a bravado moment where you called out supersauve for all kinds of things;

Some pieces of advice are really good, some other are dating/sexual suicide. Common sense and judgement are required.

Wow. Talking about sitting on a high horse.
She wasn't even your gf even though you've been pushing for MONTHS! What did she pushed for all these months? Friendship? Fwb? Be honest .

The reason: "I don't know where I am in my life right now, I need time to find out. I don't have the emotional energy to be in a relationship right now, I might go back home for a few months" bla bla... Classic. I wished her good luck and said goodbye.

After more than half a year??? All of this could've and should've happened within a few weeks max. The fact she only just recently told the truth is due YOUR patient. Now ,I advocate patient in dating at times, but this is way too much;

4.5 months is nothing, my ex-girlfriend (fashion model), I've waited almost 2 years. Result, we spent 6 years together. Another example, the 18yo Russian model I met at the bankomat, 2 years wait, etc. I have many examples like these.

The reason why I insist on the fact that they were models is that really hot girls don't mind long dryspell, they don't need sex, they wait for the right guy because they don't want be used for sex only. It's been my experience and I know what I'm talking about.

Most girls don't fvck different men left and right, especially the hot ones. The **** carrousel applies to a tiny minority of women. I
If she has red flags? Well, we'll see, but I have some too lol. There are some red flags I can deal with, some other are dealbreakers.
Like I said, we'll see.

I am sorry but a 2 year dryspell? I've never been om a dryspell longer than 6 months. All that means is you managed to catch lightning in a bottle. You lingered in the friendzone untill she happened to be single and finally picked you. Nothing tactical or honorable about that. Not a tactic you can sell to other men

I am disappointed, I don't feel well right now but it's alright. I just need a few weeks to forget her, I'll be fine. I don't think she has met somebody else or want to party, from what I know she is know, she is not that type girl. But who knows, at this point, it's none of my business and I shouldn't worry about that.

Really? C'mon now man..ofcourse she's seeing other people! And she can ,she was never you gf right? You got some pity sex and celebrated this like you won the lottery.

I know she is overwhelmed at work and she is a very moody person, very unstable emotionally, unpredictable. One day she is up and happy, the next day she is down and she doesn't want to talk to anybody (it can last for days, even weeks).

Now this is why i can wrtite this long azz post(and I am on a long trip by train). You kept WITHHOLDING this CRUCIAL piece of information. If you would've told us from the get go that she had mood swings the advice would've been completely different (run forest run!!l). But instead of saying the truth you kept lying and said shyte like;

She's fun, she has a great sense of humour, she's real, etc.

And this;

She's fun, she has a great sense of humour, she's real, etc. We get along pretty well. I admit it, I like her, and I feel she likes me too. Nice.

Oke lets continue;

I really liked her, we had fun together, I loved her vibe and we really connected. I live abroad and I feel lonely sometimes, so I had someone in my life, a presence. She was my girl and my friend at the same time. We used to hang out with her friends, it was nice, cool people. Now I'm back to case 1, on my own. Fortunately I'm very independent and I always keep myself busy.

I never mingle with friends from dates. That's worthy of a thread of its own. But i just wonder why you didn't befriend her male friends? Unless you did something extremely wrong like cheating or violent behavior I dont see why you as a foreigner with no connections can't be friends with her friends apart from her. Again, because you were in her frame like a pet puppy dog.

I've learned a lesson though. I've let myself slip, I've caught feeling for her even if I had my guard up. I had noticed in the very first weeks that she was moody and up and down, unstable. I thought, well it's not that bad, it was more of "yellow flag" than a red flag. She did some things that I didn't really like but I decide to ignore it.

AAAAH . WOULD'CHA LOOK AT THIS!!! The truth ALWAYS finds a way (in and ) out, like water or air. Now I ve read this thread twice, never no mention of her being moody ect. Now suddenly you say it twice! Like ,her moody behaviour was a reoccurring theme in this situation. You've painted her like a absolute unicorn. When you said hb8 bubbly personality I already knew more then enough. I Have TONS of xp with BPD women and smell them from a mile away.

I feel that I've wasted my time. At least I had sex with her a few times... One more girl on my list, she ended my 2 year dry spell.

WHUT???? But you said;

It doesn't really matters what you guys think, I got laid with a solid babe and I like her. That's pretty much what matters. Will she be my girlfriend/LTR? No one knows, that is another story. My point is, don't disqualify too quickly, be patient.

Finally

I will keep trying to meet new girls, I have a lot of interesting projects coming, I'm pretty excited but now I feel like ****. In the future I will not invest myself emotionally, this story again confirms that we cannot rely on them. Good thing she left me after 6.5 months and not 5-6 years...

I wouldn't be surprised if she comes back, I hope she won't.

Its June, thread started in January this year. She kept you waiting for 4,5 months. All it took was calling her out and she spread her buttcheeks.

Insecurity has 99% disappeared. I got more and more detached to the outcome during those 5 months. A few days ago, I was ready to walk away. I told her I liked her a lot but I was not interested to be in a sexless relationship. I was about to leave, not out of frustration but out of boredom, like whats the point of seeing each other if we not going to have intimacy. She understood the message.
We got in bed pretty quickly after that.

@BackInTheGame78 @pipeman84 and @stringpuller called you out multiple times. The latter even told you how to reset frame but you said :

2. I don't play games and I don't lie. The best thing I can do is act normally and see where it goes. I guess it's a good strategy but just not one I'm comfortable with.

I see her tomorrow, we'll see what's up. So far so good, no change at all.
Thanks for the advice @stringpuller

___________________________________________
So to me this thread went from a experienced DJ meets hb8,5 with model looks blonde hair and blue eyes, to a man on a dryspell gets pity sex from a borderliner after FINALLY being willing to walk away. At the end of it all it wasn't even a relationship.

Easy come,easy go. All it took was a desperate dm .

You are 37 ,been here on SS for ages but you make rookie mistakes a 23 y.o shouldn't even make. Reread this thread 4 times OP and learn learn LEARN.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Man this thread is gold. Way way way too much is going on. Tons of valuable lessons can be learned from this. It read like a dairy from a typical beta AFC. Filled with white lies, denial and ofcourse with a VERY predictable outcome.

I dont know where to start...let me just get started...



You've been warned for literally months. Instead if taking advice you even had a bravado moment where you called out supersauve for all kinds of things;




Wow. Talking about sitting on a high horse.
She wasn't even your gf even though you've been pushing for MONTHS! What did she pushed for all these months? Friendship? Fwb? Be honest .




After more than half a year??? All of this could've and should've happened within a few weeks max. The fact she recently told is due your patient. Now ,i advocate patient im dating at times, but this is way too much;


I am sorry but a 2 year dryspell? I've never been om a dryspell longer than 6 months. All that means is you managed to catch lightning in a bottle. You lingered in the friendzone untill she happened to be single and finally picked you. Nothing tactical or honorable about that. Not a tactic you can sell to other men



Really? C'mon now man..ofcourse she's seeing other people! And she can ,she was never you gf right? You got some pity sex and celebrated this like you won the lottery.


Now this is why i can wrtite this long azz post(and I am on a long trip by train). You kept WITHHOLDING this CRUCIAL piece of information. If you would've told us from the get go that she had mood swings the advice would've been completely different (run forest run!!l). But instead of saying tge truty you kept lying and said shyte like;


And this;

Oke lets continue;


I never mingle with friends from dates. That's worthy of a thread of its own. But i just wonder why you didn't befriend her make friends? Unless you did something extremely wrong like cheating or violent behavior I dont see why you as a foreigner with no connections can't be friends with her friends apart from her. Again, because you were in her frame like a pet puppy dog.

AAAAH . WOULD'CHA LOOK AT THIS!!! The truth ALWAYS finds a way (in and ) out, like water or air. Now I ve read this thread twice, never no mention of her being moody ect. Now suddenly you say it twice! Like ,her moody behaviour was a reoccurring theme in this situation. You've painted her like a absolute unicorn. When you said hb8 bubbly personality I already knew more then enough. I Have TONS of xp with BPD women and smell them frkm a mile away.


WHUT???? But you said;

Finally

Its June, thread started in January this year. She kept you waiting for 4,5 months. All it took was calling her out and she spread her buttcheeks.




@BackInTheGame78 @pipeman84 and @stringpuller called you out multiple times. The latter even told you how to reset frame but you said :



___________________________________________
So to me this thread went from a experienced DJ meets hb8,5 with model looks blonde hair and blue eyes, to a man on a dryspell gets pity sex from a borderliner after FINALLY being willing to walk away. At the end of it all it wasn't even a relationship.

Easy come,easy go. All it took was a desperate dm .

You are 37 ,been here on SS for ages but you make rookie mistakes a 23 y.o shouldn't even make. Reread this thread 4 times OP and learn learn LEARN.

I don't even know what to make of this thread...just a lot of contradictory stuff going on in here that is confusing to me.

 

[mikedee]

Man this thread is gold. Way way way too much is going on. Tons of valuable lessons can be learned from this. It read like a dairy from a typical beta AFC. Filled with white lies, denial and ofcourse with a VERY predictable outcome.

I dont know where to start...let me just get started...



You've been warned for literally months. Instead if taking advice you even had a bravado moment where you called out supersauve for all kinds of things;




Wow. Talking about sitting on a high horse.
She wasn't even your gf even though you've been pushing for MONTHS! What did she pushed for all these months? Friendship? Fwb? Be honest .




After more than half a year??? All of this could've and should've happened within a few weeks max. The fact she only just recently told the truth is due YOUR patient. Now ,I advocate patient in dating at times, but this is way too much;


I am sorry but a 2 year dryspell? I've never been om a dryspell longer than 6 months. All that means is you managed to catch lightning in a bottle. You lingered in the friendzone untill she happened to be single and finally picked you. Nothing tactical or honorable about that. Not a tactic you can sell to other men



Really? C'mon now man..ofcourse she's seeing other people! And she can ,she was never you gf right? You got some pity sex and celebrated this like you won the lottery.


Now this is why i can wrtite this long azz post(and I am on a long trip by train). You kept WITHHOLDING this CRUCIAL piece of information. If you would've told us from the get go that she had mood swings the advice would've been completely different (run forest run!!l). But instead of saying the truth you kept lying and said shyte like;


And this;

Oke lets continue;


I never mingle with friends from dates. That's worthy of a thread of its own. But i just wonder why you didn't befriend her male friends? Unless you did something extremely wrong like cheating or violent behavior I dont see why you as a foreigner with no connections can't be friends with her friends apart from her. Again, because you were in her frame like a pet puppy dog.

AAAAH . WOULD'CHA LOOK AT THIS!!! The truth ALWAYS finds a way (in and ) out, like water or air. Now I ve read this thread twice, never no mention of her being moody ect. Now suddenly you say it twice! Like ,her moody behaviour was a reoccurring theme in this situation. You've painted her like a absolute unicorn. When you said hb8 bubbly personality I already knew more then enough. I Have TONS of xp with BPD women and smell them from a mile away.


WHUT???? But you said;

Finally

Its June, thread started in January this year. She kept you waiting for 4,5 months. All it took was calling her out and she spread her buttcheeks.




@BackInTheGame78 @pipeman84 and @stringpuller called you out multiple times. The latter even told you how to reset frame but you said :



___________________________________________
So to me this thread went from a experienced DJ meets hb8,5 with model looks blonde hair and blue eyes, to a man on a dryspell gets pity sex from a borderliner after FINALLY being willing to walk away. At the end of it all it wasn't even a relationship.

Easy come,easy go. All it took was a desperate dm .

You are 37 ,been here on SS for ages but you make rookie mistakes a 23 y.o shouldn't even make. Reread this thread 4 times OP and learn learn LEARN.

Good for you if you've never had a dry spell longer than 6 months, do you want a trophy? I stopped reading after a few sentences. That is the problem here, people assume this or that according to very little information, without knowing personally the people involved, the context, etc. There was no desperate DM in the first place, basically what you say is every time a guy approach a girl (online or irl) he is desperate, it doesn't make sense, especially with what you say in your other posts.

The girl has some issues and we spoke about it me and her, and that's why it ended like this (because of her issues). You don't know anything about what she told me . Actually, you know very little about the situation. You've read the post and assumed many things according to what you wanted the situation to be, so it fits your reality. First I haven't been here for ages, but you post almost everyday all kind of BS, some good stuff too, I admit. It's like you have nothing going on in your life, don't you have things to do? From what I see, no, you're busy changing your avatar. You've spent quite some time commenting on my thread. I'm gonna be honest with you, to me you're just a keyboard jockey, I can't remember a post of you saying you got laid or dated a hot chix or been in a situation or whatever, all you do is write useless threads or comment other people posts. Do you actually date women? I don't think so. I'm 99% sure.

Not my first model bro, I used to work as a DJ and photographer, and lived in Russia, I've dated a lot trust me. So what you think about me or my situation, I don't give a damn. Yes I should have been more "prudent", I agree, but it went like this and ended up like this. That's life man, that's part of dating. One thing is sure, I banged a super hot Russian girl, former model. You didn't.

Conclusion? I'm disappointed yes, everybody would be, especially people here. Am I devastated, deeply depressed, borderline suicidal? Not at all. Life goes on. Next. I'm not married with her, I don't have children with her.
I'm going to Denmark next week, I hope there will be a lot of hot Danish models, I will shoot some

I don't need to read the the thread again, I'm the one who created it, I know the thread well.
So, with all your bashing and "superiority", between you and me, who is the winner? Me.
Thanks for your advice though.

Case closed.

 

[Gamisch]

Good for you if you've never had a dry spell longer than 6 months, do you want a trophy? I stopped reading after a few sentences. That is the problem here, people assume this or that according to very little information, without knowing personally the people involved, the context, etc. There was no desperate DM in the first place, basically what you say is every time a guy approach a girl (online or irl) he is desperate, it doesn't make sense, especially with what you say in your other posts.

The girl has some issues and we spoke about it me and her, and that's why it ended like this (because of her issues). You don't know anything about what she told me . Actually, you know very little about the situation. You've read the post and assumed many things according to what you wanted the situation to be, so it fits your reality. First I haven't been here for ages, but you post almost everyday all kind of BS, some good stuff too, I admit. It's like you have nothing going on in your life, don't you have things to do? From what I see, no, you're busy changing your avatar. You've spent quite some time commenting on my thread. I'm gonna be honest with you, to me you're just a keyboard jockey, I can't remember a post of you saying you got laid or dated a hot chix or been in a situation or whatever, all you do is write useless threads or comment other people posts. Do you actually date women? I don't think so. I'm 99% sure.

Not my first model bro, I used to work as a DJ and photographer, and lived in Russia, I've dated a lot trust me. So what you think about me or my situation, I don't give a damn. Yes I should have been more "prudent", I agree, but it went like this and ended up like this. That's life man, that's part of dating. One thing is sure, I banged a super hot Russian girl, former model. You didn't.

Conclusion? I'm disappointed yes, everybody would be, especially people here. Am I devastated, deeply depressed, borderline suicidal? Not at all. Life goes on. Next. I'm not married with her, I don't have children with her.
I'm going to Denmark next week, I hope there will be a lot of hot Danish models, I will shoot some

I don't need to read the the thread again, I'm the one who created it, I know the thread well.
So, with all your bashing and "superiority", between you and me, who is the winner? Me.
Thanks for your advice though.

Case closed.

Oke.

If i were you I DEFINITELY would read the entire post and not just two sentences.
I broke this down not just for you it for any man in a similar situation. And geuss what I've been there countless of times. Your problem is you can't admit fault . You're not a humble man when humbleness is all you should show.

I don't even wanna defend your bs personal attacking allegations. Dont worry bout me getting laid though. I've seen more women on their knees for me then you'll ever will. I have some women that I can call at anytime,just got bored the f outta them. Still feck then when I am horney and bored though..I am the type who REJECTS women if theyre not an upgrade to my best lays and relationships( and that's a though task). And as you know from my thread a stubborn ex hb8 that keeps bringing me booty every 3 weeks or so( I know @Dr.Suave would on his turn call ME out on this but oke, thats how we LEARN). Should I write a report about that every time?

I got friends and family I take care off , a fulltime job as a painter and a sidehustle making and selling (E)bikes. I organize parties for musicians and make music myself,including videos and artwork. I give boxing classes twice a week and workout EVERY DAY. On top off all that i have a daughter with me every few weeks whose sleeping now after picking her up on a six hour trip. Lets get that outta the way first . Avatar change. Excuse me?? Whatever though. So you should be GRATEFUL I took the time to give you honest and raw feedback.

When you make an OP you gotta OWN it. We all know that making a thread means opening the door for opinions, like taking the mic on stage..spotlight on YOU now homie not on me.. so dont make this personal about me. Iam just reviewing the situation.

If its on me we all find the magic solutions and thrive in life on every aspect of it. So no, I am not hoping anything negative for you. Why would I? Far as I know I've never had anything personal with you, but bring it on if necessary. You're just emotional and perhaps embarrassed and I get that . I am just letting you know that YOU and every man in these situations can learn so fecking much. Good start is a critical look in the mirror and see the countless moments and turns this went wrong, and thus actually learn something from it. Next thing is honesty when making threads and not telling half the story(even though every man with xp already knew that the story about the redflags would come later). Dont make this about me homie.

And as I've mentioned before;I thoroughly enjoyed breaking this down while making my 3 hour trip to pick up my daughter by the way. Now back to the thread shall we?

 

[Dr.Suave]

A stubborn ex hb8 that keeps bringing me booty every 3 weeks or so( I know @Dr.Suave would on his turn call ME out on this but oke, thats how we LEARN).

F0ck yeah. But you know I mean well