Plain & Simple
Senior Don Juan
wyld got a reputation of arguments and starting **** up and twisting threads up, ive read a couple of them, like the one about putting girls in an emotional ride, so im not surprised
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Today i learned my lesson. ALL Women are goldigers!
- Thread starter Plain & Simple
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
man..are u kidding me?
ive been with my girl for 3 months...
not counting gas!
Ive probably spent 350 to 500 hundred..over this time..going out, drinks, food, fun, her B day.
she has spent maybe 150 to 200...so what?
im a man....I should pay.....for the most part.
she gives me things in return.
love
happines
laughter
companionship
sex
mostly affection and attention.
she doesnt ask for me to buy her anything.but I love her and want her to be happy.
but I can tell you..weve spent 12 to 15 nights in the last 3 months.spendning NO money..together
Muny
zoo
park
my house
her house
just sitting in bed talking, making love.
it seems ur relationship is CONDITIONAL not UNCONDITIONAL!
ive been with my girl for 3 months...
not counting gas!
Ive probably spent 350 to 500 hundred..over this time..going out, drinks, food, fun, her B day.
she has spent maybe 150 to 200...so what?
im a man....I should pay.....for the most part.
she gives me things in return.
love
happines
laughter
companionship
sex
mostly affection and attention.
she doesnt ask for me to buy her anything.but I love her and want her to be happy.
but I can tell you..weve spent 12 to 15 nights in the last 3 months.spendning NO money..together
Muny
zoo
park
my house
her house
just sitting in bed talking, making love.
it seems ur relationship is CONDITIONAL not UNCONDITIONAL!
spider_007
Master Don Juan
She has her priorities set, DO YOU?
DrSassyPants
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2004
- Messages
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You know you've found a good g/f when she offers to buy stuff for you...but c'mon, don't ask for it. that's weak.
And stop buying stuff for HER. Damn kid, if you gotta take money out of your savings to do stuff....then don't do stuff as much. And if she leaves you, so be it, she wasn't for you.
By the way, I agree with everything Wyldfire has said.
And stop buying stuff for HER. Damn kid, if you gotta take money out of your savings to do stuff....then don't do stuff as much. And if she leaves you, so be it, she wasn't for you.
By the way, I agree with everything Wyldfire has said.
My gf either pays her share right there at the dinner table or i'll say "i'll put it on my card" and there's the understanding that next time it's hers.
I paid for a movie the other day. On the way in she says "do you want popcorn" implying she'd buy it. I decline, but on the way home after the movie she asks if i'm hungry and i say "yeah but if we're gonna go out to eat, you're up" and she says "yep." Afterwards i say "thanks for dinner" and she says "sure thanks for the movie."
I can go on and on. She buys her own drinks at bars and often buys a couple for me without any prompting. We finished my bottle of vodka last night in my apt and she said "i'll get the next bottle" without me even asking.
It's been this way from the very beginning. I just NEVER offered to foot her share of things for her and she naturally was just thought "oh he expects me to carry my own weight." I have no idea what her views on men paying for women are, and I don't care because it's my money and i'll spend it how i please.
My girlfriend before my current one was from a well to do family and while didn't have a ton of money to throw around, her parents supplied her enough (we were both in college) that she just paid for BOTH of us about 70% of the time. I coulda paid for myself just fine but she liked to do it and i don't mind saving myself some money if she has more than me to begin with through luck of birth.
What the hell?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is a classic "nice guy" mistake - you don't have to buy her anything, but if you choose to then you can't complain at her or hold it over her head like a debt.
It sounds like material gifts are causing way too much friction in your relationship. Maybe you should agree not to buy things for each other any more.
It sounds like material gifts are causing way too much friction in your relationship. Maybe you should agree not to buy things for each other any more.
It's worth noting this point. A lot of "nice guys" have a manipulative way of making women feel like they owe something in return, so you'll either scare her off or you'll get taken for a ride (and deservedly so).
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
no, im not a sucker..I choose to do this..she offers everytime....when I feel she needs to pay....then I let her.
also I make 3 times more than she does....and she works fulltime in the summer making 7.50 an hour..yes I said 3 times....
when she graduates this yr and makes the big bucks..she can pay half the mortgage
its a personal investment..its not material things I buy her..
the last girl I was with from March to May..I didnt buy anything because I didnt care.
Originally posted by frivolousz21
no, im not a sucker..I choose to do this..she offers everytime....when I feel she needs to pay....then I let her.
also I make 3 times more than she does....and she works fulltime in the summer making 7.50 an hour..yes I said 3 times....
when she graduates this yr and makes the big bucks..she can pay half the mortgage
its a personal investment..its not material things I buy her..
the last girl I was with from March to May..I didnt buy anything because I didnt care.
None of that has anything to do with the statement I quoted.
You said as the guy you should pay for the most part. You didn't say "i make lots more than her so i happily pay extra." You didn't say "i really want to pay for her because it brings me pleasure!" You said just because you're the man you should pay more. Why?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
why?
because I am the leader, protector and provider.
I Know everyone says its not 1950.
its not..so im not providing everything...but so far its been about 70/30 me in monetary value.
I think thats right for the man to provide mroe than her....
no one can tell me its not easier for the guy to make a living with a higher paying job.
it is.
because I am the leader, protector and provider.
I Know everyone says its not 1950.
its not..so im not providing everything...but so far its been about 70/30 me in monetary value.
I think thats right for the man to provide mroe than her....
no one can tell me its not easier for the guy to make a living with a higher paying job.
it is.
Plain & Simple
Senior Don Juan
I never thought of it like that, she never asked me to buy her anything, i just bough it for her, like one time she said that she saw some sneakers at footaction and i went and got them for her.
I guess im choosing to buy it so i cant hold that against her.
Hmmm interesting how i never saw it that way until this thread...
samething with the money i took out my savings, she didnt mention nothing about going out, i was the one who said lets go out, and she told me right away i only got 7 dollars, i said dont worry about the money i got it.
Many timesshe offers to pay but i dont let her cause i feel like its my responsability to pay since im the man, even when she asks me and i know i want whateve she is offering me i say no, outta pride, cause i feel weird letting my gf buy stuff for me.
Dang...
I guess im choosing to buy it so i cant hold that against her.
Hmmm interesting how i never saw it that way until this thread...
samething with the money i took out my savings, she didnt mention nothing about going out, i was the one who said lets go out, and she told me right away i only got 7 dollars, i said dont worry about the money i got it.
Many timesshe offers to pay but i dont let her cause i feel like its my responsability to pay since im the man, even when she asks me and i know i want whateve she is offering me i say no, outta pride, cause i feel weird letting my gf buy stuff for me.
Dang...
Joe The Homophobe
Master Don Juan
A real DJ has his girlfriend buying him stuff, not the other way around!