So I met this girl online, emailed back and forth for a while, and then met in person last weekend. It went well so we have a date this weekend. Now it is weird since I dont have anything to say by email anymore, and she likes to talk. I called her to set up the date, and now she calls me each day. And actually, I have to admit that I caved once and called during lunch just to say Hi. Was that a nono? She still calls me after that and I know these are good signs, but I dont want to talk on the phone, and go into the friend zone and lose the spark we had before this weekend comes either. Any suggestions?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
To talk or not to talk
- Thread starter Mex
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Keep the calls short, if she's a daily caller I don't think there is a problem with your call, getting some pretty high IOI from her. Can use the 3:2 rule if you want. For every 3 things she does/calls you do it twice. Might be a bit excessive in this case but there's nothing wrong with calling as long as it doesn't make you look like you don't have a life.
Yeah, there is definitely high IOI. In fact, a couple nights a go she texted me asking if I wanted to meet up at midnight (when she gets out from work). I said no, I figured if she wants to see me that bad already, then shell be even more anxious if I make her wait. Plus I have to get up early anyway.
Let me tell you, not only does limiting phone contact work for you in the early stages of dating someone (because you do want to engage her sense of mystery and because you do want to reserve stuff for when you do meet and not spill your chit chat wad on idle phone calls), a way important point not to be overlooked is it sets the terms of the relationship. I'm a fairly busy guy, I keep active and I'm forever working on something. Needless calls just to shoot the breeze aren't welcome much. If I had let my current GF get into the habit of talking to me on the telephone all the time, it would've been very hard to change that later.
I cut short her calls back in those early dating days, telling her I preferred to see her pretty face and smile.
"Oh you know just what to say!" was the response she gushed.
They go along with it when they like you.
Which is my second point: it also helps weed out the low interest girls, the needy girls as well as the control freak girls.
I cut short her calls back in those early dating days, telling her I preferred to see her pretty face and smile.
"Oh you know just what to say!" was the response she gushed.
They go along with it when they like you.
Which is my second point: it also helps weed out the low interest girls, the needy girls as well as the control freak girls.
Nice move. It seems like you get this stuff all figured.Yeah, there is definitely high IOI. In fact, a couple nights a go she texted me asking if I wanted to meet up at midnight (when she gets out from work). I said no, I figured if she wants to see me that bad already, then shell be even more anxious if I make her wait. Plus I have to get up early anyway.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Nevermind, I had hide age on there. All set now.Mex said:I thought I did put my age, but it is not showing up. I went to User CP and then to edit profile. I put my age in there. Was that the right place? Thanks
By the way, she texted again today and I emailed her just saying whats up in stead of calling back. I really dont like talking on the phone anyway. But she called tonight and she actually kept it short and told me SHE had to go. She must be catching on and trying to get the upper hand on the phone hang ups...haha.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Upper hand ??? Where do you guys get all this hyper vigilance?Mex said:But she called tonight and she actually kept it short and told me SHE had to go. She must be catching on and trying to get the upper hand on the phone hang ups...haha.
SHe has sensed your reluctance to chat and is merely accomodating your wishes in that regard by matching your behavior. THis is a good sign, Mex. IT means that you have set some guidelines, and she is complying. Most women will do this if you set the frame firmly and skillfully .
Good frame so far!
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.