So I met this girl online, emailed back and forth for a while, and then met in person last weekend. It went well so we have a date this weekend. Now it is weird since I dont have anything to say by email anymore, and she likes to talk. I called her to set up the date, and now she calls me each day. And actually, I have to admit that I caved once and called during lunch just to say Hi. Was that a nono? She still calls me after that and I know these are good signs, but I dont want to talk on the phone, and go into the friend zone and lose the spark we had before this weekend comes either. Any suggestions?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
To talk or not to talk
- Thread starter Mex
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Keep the calls short, if she's a daily caller I don't think there is a problem with your call, getting some pretty high IOI from her. Can use the 3:2 rule if you want. For every 3 things she does/calls you do it twice. Might be a bit excessive in this case but there's nothing wrong with calling as long as it doesn't make you look like you don't have a life.
Yeah, there is definitely high IOI. In fact, a couple nights a go she texted me asking if I wanted to meet up at midnight (when she gets out from work). I said no, I figured if she wants to see me that bad already, then shell be even more anxious if I make her wait. Plus I have to get up early anyway.
Let me tell you, not only does limiting phone contact work for you in the early stages of dating someone (because you do want to engage her sense of mystery and because you do want to reserve stuff for when you do meet and not spill your chit chat wad on idle phone calls), a way important point not to be overlooked is it sets the terms of the relationship. I'm a fairly busy guy, I keep active and I'm forever working on something. Needless calls just to shoot the breeze aren't welcome much. If I had let my current GF get into the habit of talking to me on the telephone all the time, it would've been very hard to change that later.
I cut short her calls back in those early dating days, telling her I preferred to see her pretty face and smile.
"Oh you know just what to say!" was the response she gushed.
They go along with it when they like you.
Which is my second point: it also helps weed out the low interest girls, the needy girls as well as the control freak girls.
I cut short her calls back in those early dating days, telling her I preferred to see her pretty face and smile.
"Oh you know just what to say!" was the response she gushed.
They go along with it when they like you.
Which is my second point: it also helps weed out the low interest girls, the needy girls as well as the control freak girls.
Nice move. It seems like you get this stuff all figured.Yeah, there is definitely high IOI. In fact, a couple nights a go she texted me asking if I wanted to meet up at midnight (when she gets out from work). I said no, I figured if she wants to see me that bad already, then shell be even more anxious if I make her wait. Plus I have to get up early anyway.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Nevermind, I had hide age on there. All set now.Mex said:I thought I did put my age, but it is not showing up. I went to User CP and then to edit profile. I put my age in there. Was that the right place? Thanks
By the way, she texted again today and I emailed her just saying whats up in stead of calling back. I really dont like talking on the phone anyway. But she called tonight and she actually kept it short and told me SHE had to go. She must be catching on and trying to get the upper hand on the phone hang ups...haha.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Upper hand ??? Where do you guys get all this hyper vigilance?Mex said:But she called tonight and she actually kept it short and told me SHE had to go. She must be catching on and trying to get the upper hand on the phone hang ups...haha.
SHe has sensed your reluctance to chat and is merely accomodating your wishes in that regard by matching your behavior. THis is a good sign, Mex. IT means that you have set some guidelines, and she is complying. Most women will do this if you set the frame firmly and skillfully .
Good frame so far!
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.