"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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To pursue or not to pursue...

eagletal88

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Well here is some quick background...

This girl works behind the desk at my gym and after a few months of small chit-chatting I finally asked her out,( I had my reservations about her so it took me a little while to warm up to her and found out she is actually a pretty cool chick). I also found out she was asking about me to some other members who I know pretty good, so that is one reason I knew I had a shot. So anyways I got her phone number said we should hang out sometime... but I told her I wouldn't be able to for a little while because I had to work 6 straight days, (I work 2nd shift).

I then went through a phase where I lost all ambition to date girls and never ended up calling her, (probably stupid of me, lol) but I just didn't feel like it. The next time I spoke with her was like a week later at the gym, which mainly consisted of small talk and no mention of hanging out, (again I still wasn't even trying at this point). Again I saw her the next day which was Friday and more small talk, although she has been extra friendly during these last couple of days... so I wasn't sure if she was trying to get my to set a time for a date or not.

I then went snowboarding over the weekend and actually a couple of times I found myself thinking about her. Now I went into the gym Monday morning, ( I guess it's yesterday now) and did some small talk when I first swiped in. When I was working out I decided I was gonna set a time to hang out with her when leaving the gym. As I was leaving I saw one of my friends talking to her at the desk and decided to talk to him for a little bit, and she also joined and we kinda had a 3 way conversation about random stuff. He then left and I began just talking to her, which was actually going really good as I was feeling super confident. So I finally put my foot down and changed the subject abruptly and asked what she was doing Wednesday night, to which she replied she was gonna eat dinner with her dad in another town.

She then said "thats your only night off this week?" -- but she kinda said it in tone like she was almost laughing at my attempt to ask her out

I then told her, "no I have Friday off"

Her, "uh, night out with the girls"

She then pointed at her scheduler book and said it's very full and that she if a very busy girl. I told her I could relate, then she quickly changed the subject... I then made quick work of the remaining conversation and ejected. I felt pretty put off by her at this point.

The final dialougue ended with...

Me "Adios" or however you spell the spanish word...
Her "have a great Day!"
Me "you too" no exclamation mark ;)

So based on all of that, I would appreciate and feedback on whether I should pursue it further, (if so what do you reccomend my next move) or just next her.

Thanks in advance!
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Eaglecreek

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Basicly you blew this girl of abit, anyway, she's probebly really busy, but instead of asking while you are in the gym, why not just call her once... She's done nothing wrong so far, you're the one giving mixed up signals. Here's something my dad use to say about women: "drink the soup while it's hot!", meaning take your chance while you still can! Stop wasting time thinking about it, get to know this girl, who knows she might become just a friend, maybe more (if you don't need a GF, a new friend might be welcome right? this might be the most fun girl you'll ever know), only time will tell about that.

Anyway, its your decision, but I wouldn't have any problem deciding what to do mate.
 

eagletal88

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Lol, funniest thing happened tonight...

Well just in case you would prefer not to read my long story in my original post... here is what happened that will pertain to tonight.

So I finally asked this girl out who worked at my gym...

First I asked what she was doing Wednesday night, which she said she was going to her father's in another city to have supper with him.

Well let's jump to tonight, I just received a text from her tonight, (by accident). I will post all of the text's we sent back to each other for your viewing pleasure!

Her "He's great! Had a fun time..gave hug bye:) just gonna go with it!"

I notice the text a half an hour later...

Me "Lol, well that's cool"

Her "??"

Her again "Don't think u meant to send that to me!"

Me "well actually, I was being polite and replaying to your text"

Her "I didn't write you one tonight!"

Me "well I did get one from u 2night, but now that I think about it, I don't believe it was intended for me..."

Her "What did it say?"

I assume at this point she realized which message she sent me...

Her "Ohhh haha it was 4 my sistr..hung out with her bf tonight at my dads and she askd what i thought of him. Haha sorry"

What I wrote tonight was verbatim of the text's... notice how she skipped a few letters, obviously in a hurry... lol now knowing I caught her in a lie.

The last when I just got...

Her "Do anything fun on ur nite off?"

I haven't replied back... can you say NEXT!
 

DonJuan11

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eagletal88 said:
He then left and I began just talking to her, which was actually going really good as I was feeling super confident. So I finally put my foot down and changed the subject abruptly and asked what she was doing Wednesday night, to which she replied she was gonna eat dinner with her dad in another town.

She then said "thats your only night off this week?" -- but she kinda said it in tone like she was almost laughing at my attempt to ask her out

I then told her, "no I have Friday off"

Her, "uh, night out with the girls"

She then pointed at her scheduler book and said it's very full and that she if a very busy girl. I told her I could relate, then she quickly changed the subject... I then made quick work of the remaining conversation and ejected. I felt pretty put off by her at this point.

The final dialougue ended with...

Me "Adios" or however you spell the spanish word...
Her "have a great Day!"
Me "you too" no exclamation mark ;)
She then said "thats your only night off this week?" -- but she kinda said it in tone like she was almost laughing at my attempt to ask her out

I then told her, "no I have Friday off"

Her, "uh, night out with the girls"

As SOON as she said this, you should have said "OK, you pick a date a time when you are available." Put it back on her.

Plus, no one can be that busy. I'm sure you could get a day of work if you were going out with Angelina Jolie.
 

DonJuan11

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eagletal88 said:
The last when I just got...

Her "Do anything fun on ur nite off?"

"Yes but not half as much as fun as I could have had being with you."
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

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