To peace or not to peace...

[AJHook]

Saw gorgeous Egyptian girl. Walked up, was charming, we talked, got number, been dating for roughly 1.5 months...Anyway, to the meat and taters...

At first things moved slowly with this girl, which I am ok with because she one of first girls I've met in quite some time that I'm really compatible with in terms of lifestyle (sobriety, fitness, diet, tastes in music, art etc...). I clinged to those elements harder than I normally do as things progressed.

Problem: she's very self conscious, and can be made anxious easily. Even when I simply look at her for a moment or two, she tell me how I am making her nervous. It makes absolutely no sense to me because she is absolutely stunning. Smoking hot body, like 8/10 ****. She has a very specific/serious body image insecurity regarding the size of her chest, which also makes little sense to me. It's confusing because we will fool around and get as far as me having my junk out while she dry humps me in nothing but her undies and bra. I usually touch her down there, but the instant I go for the bra, RESISTANCE. She covers herself, usually tries to restrap the shoulders...all while I have a raging Rodney trying to figure out what the hell to do. She claims that she is not trying to play with me and send me mixed signals, I brought this up several times as it's frustrating as hell. Because I like this girl and understand that she has a slower pace than me, I didn't want to push sex. Sex is a "bigger deal" for her than it is for me.

Recently I blew my patience fuse and got frustrated at her as we were doing the usual, getting to roughly t minus 10 and then remain in countdown purgatory while my rocket is fully loaded and doesn't get to blastoff. She almost immediately dressed herself and was ready to leave without saying much of anything...I was confused and needed a few moments to gather myself. I stayed in my room for this time. As she walked out, she began conversing with my roommate. I figured to let them finish talking before coming in and making it awkward for him. Apparently my inaction of chasing after her as she left out of the room or saying anything like goodbye or goodnight etc...made her angry at me. Hmmm...
Anyway we talked it out for a while and then she left, but she was distant in her body language and kiss.

In retrospect, I think she has several issues she needs to work through, including being on adderall for ADD. I'm conflicted because otherwise, I really like her. But I've had a few red flags and am simply not sure...

Thoughts?

Also, this happened on Valentine's Day. Bought gifts etc...not reciprocated...just seemed off.

 

[The Duke]

She'll always have these issues. They will manifest in other areas as well. There will be many more times you get frustrated. You have to decide if you want to deal with it or not.

 

[marmel75]

I dealt with a chick that had similar issues...you have to make her feel hot and sexy for her to be OK with going further...whisper in her ear how sexy she is and how amazing her body is and how amazing "whatever part of her body she is insecure about" is...

It will take a little bit to get over but once she does she will feel comfortable enough that it wont matter...you have to make sure she knows you arent going to judge her for whatever it is she doesn't like

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

To say I'm not an expert in this stuff would be an understatement. So take this with a pinch of salt.

I'd talk to her about it privately in person before you do anymore sexy stuff.

She clearly finds you attractive but is insecure. Trying to escalate it in bed together is just going to make her feel more insecure because it's the highest pressure environment to address the problem. If you don't like looking naked, the last time you want to discuss that is when you're naked, for example.

Build her confidence up by talking to her outside the bedroom but privately, you can say "I find you really, really attractive but I can tell you feel insecure about this stuff."

Soothe her doubts and fears when you're out of bed, then you can escalate slowly together in bed and make it all work out.