mr. kennedy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2012
- Messages
- 215
- Reaction score
- 21
I've never bought a drink for a chick I just met at a bar or club but I see many posts here of guys that do. What's the verdict?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
To buy or not buy a drink?
- Thread starter mr. kennedy
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
TheException
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,109
- Reaction score
- 111
You can do whatever the he11 you want....just never come from a place of supplication. I dont buy women drinks because i find it to be unnecessary.
B
BeDJ
Guest
Try this.
Tell a girl you are grabbing a drink and if she wants one. Make sure she follows you to the bar. Put about $3 more in cash than what your drink costs. If she says she doesn't have cash, tell her to put it on her card and you'll get the next rounds. If she refuses, the awkward stares from you and the bartender should do the trick.
Tell a girl you are grabbing a drink and if she wants one. Make sure she follows you to the bar. Put about $3 more in cash than what your drink costs. If she says she doesn't have cash, tell her to put it on her card and you'll get the next rounds. If she refuses, the awkward stares from you and the bartender should do the trick.
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
I don't buy a woman a drink if it's the first time I'm meeting her, for example if I go to a bar (not a first date).
If I know her (she's in my social circle) then maybe, but I wouldn't do it to "win her over". If she did something cool and I'm congratulating her, or if she already bought me a round.
If I invited her out for drinks then obviously yes.
If I know her (she's in my social circle) then maybe, but I wouldn't do it to "win her over". If she did something cool and I'm congratulating her, or if she already bought me a round.
If I invited her out for drinks then obviously yes.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Mr Wright
Master Don Juan
I can only remember buying a stranger a drink a handful of times and those were times when it would have been weird not to. Like if I was talking to a girl and I wanted a drink, I'd just walk to the bar and get my drink and ask if she wants one. Also when it comes to dates, I have my favourite place which does 2 for 1 ****tails during the week, it's a great place for chit chat and a second date location. In those cases, the girl usually always goes halves after I pay for the first round. Sorted no arguments.
I love guys who buy girls drinks though because I can safely say I have had a few of them.
I love guys who buy girls drinks though because I can safely say I have had a few of them.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Hah. I feel like the bartender looks to the guy for money before looking to the girl. The awkward stares would likely be directed at you.BeginningDJ said:
Anyway, let's say I'm talking to a girl in a bar. Struck up a conversation with her, and have been talking for 30-40 minutes...Then if I decide I need another drink, I'll ask her if she wants one and tell her to follow me to the bar. If I feel like she's a good prospect, I'd rather buy her a drink and keep the conversation going rather than stand my ground over a $6 drink.
But that's my rule if I've been talking to the girl. I don't just walk up and offer a girl a drink to spark a conversation. That's stupid. But if we're chatting and the vibe is good, then I have no problem. Same thing I would do for a guy, actually.
But with that said, I'd wager that 70% of girls I date would buy the next round anyway.
mr. kennedy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2012
- Messages
- 215
- Reaction score
- 21
You'd be surprised how many guys do it. Like a girl is ordering at the bar and some random guy tells her I got it.Iceberg said:
Uncharted
Master Don Juan
even when I was more of an AFC I would have never done that!mr. kennedy said:
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
It Taiwan, it goes a long way buying a drink if she already has interest in you...culture thing..in the states not so much....in Taiwan you just look like a cheap bum if u don't and that is never a good thing...in the us its completely different though I never bought anyone a drink inin the us and would even get girls to buy me drinks..that just doesn't fly here.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Buying a drink for a woman should be like gambling or investing in the stock market... only do it if you're not afraid to lose any money on it.
As I've heard from female friends, some girls talk to guys just to get drinks out of them (which should be common knowledge here), but worse yet, some girls try to get a guy to pay for the girl AND her friends. Whatever you do, don't be that guy.
VladPatton
Master Don Juan
Ask her if she wants a beer. If she says she doesn't drink beer just say "oh, ok" and proceed to get yourself a beer. If she's diggin you and doesn't ask for an expensive drink, she's not there for bummin drinks. Get your beer and proceed to talk to her, get number, etc.
If she does ask for an expensive drink, don't, and leave her hanging, she's moochin drinks from guys.
If she does ask for an expensive drink, don't, and leave her hanging, she's moochin drinks from guys.
Think of what buying a drink means. In buying a drink you are making an offering, which suggests you are paying for someone's attention, or enticing them to listen to a proposition.
Seeing that women already know you are trying to pick them up, buying a drink emphasizes that you are only interested in her as an object to seduce/pickup.
So, general rule of thumb the answer is no.
(There are some occasions where drink buying can be okay but they require special scenarios)
Seeing that women already know you are trying to pick them up, buying a drink emphasizes that you are only interested in her as an object to seduce/pickup.
So, general rule of thumb the answer is no.
(There are some occasions where drink buying can be okay but they require special scenarios)
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
d!ckmojo
Senior Don Juan
As a strategy to push towards an easy same-night lay, buying drinks for girls straight up works. Is it necessary? No, of course not, but it does help grease the wheels mightily, and I for one don't see a problem with using any and every single weapon in my arsenal to increase my notch count.
The whole "don't buy girls drinks" thing I think was originally aimed at AFCs thinking they can buy a girls approval. That's a different thing, and in that situation its sure to reduce a man's value, not increase it, and thus is counter productive.
But when a natural, assertive man is leading and dominating the interaction, it seems absurd in that situation for him not to buy drinks if he's feeling thirsty. Girls love being lead by an Alpha man, and part of doing the leading in my opinion involves deciding when to get drinks, what drinks to get, and yes, usually, deciding who pays for them.
So, like, you can be an alpha and demand that she pays for the drinks. I do that all the time. But I'm also not an @$$#073 and I want to contribute my fair share of money to make sure we're all having fun and no one is being taken advantage of.
I have this one friend who is an engineer and earns a fantastic salary, and he's just so magnanimous and generous with his drink-buying practices that I really have to stop him from jumping in and springing for every round, and I have to step up and assertively announce that I'm buying the drinks to prevent him from doing so.
You know, they're just drinks, holy fvck! Are you out there to have a good time or are you out there to prove something about some obscure social phenomenon?
Just buy the damn fvcking drinks if you want to, Christ! If you want her to buy the drinks, make her buy the fvcking drinks? How are we even still talking about this **** on here?
The whole "don't buy girls drinks" thing I think was originally aimed at AFCs thinking they can buy a girls approval. That's a different thing, and in that situation its sure to reduce a man's value, not increase it, and thus is counter productive.
But when a natural, assertive man is leading and dominating the interaction, it seems absurd in that situation for him not to buy drinks if he's feeling thirsty. Girls love being lead by an Alpha man, and part of doing the leading in my opinion involves deciding when to get drinks, what drinks to get, and yes, usually, deciding who pays for them.
So, like, you can be an alpha and demand that she pays for the drinks. I do that all the time. But I'm also not an @$$#073 and I want to contribute my fair share of money to make sure we're all having fun and no one is being taken advantage of.
I have this one friend who is an engineer and earns a fantastic salary, and he's just so magnanimous and generous with his drink-buying practices that I really have to stop him from jumping in and springing for every round, and I have to step up and assertively announce that I'm buying the drinks to prevent him from doing so.
You know, they're just drinks, holy fvck! Are you out there to have a good time or are you out there to prove something about some obscure social phenomenon?
Just buy the damn fvcking drinks if you want to, Christ! If you want her to buy the drinks, make her buy the fvcking drinks? How are we even still talking about this **** on here?
gravityeyelids
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 6, 2013
- Messages
- 918
- Reaction score
- 192
I would generally say NO. With a few exceptions.
As a RULE, i say never buy a drink for a girl you haven't slept with yet or one that you're trying to sleep with.
If she's just a friend, then sure why not. But in MOST cases, if she's an attractive girl...she goes from guy to guy... politely making small talk with you while sipping the free drink. Then when she finishes it "well i have to get back to my friends....nice meeting you".
Let the chodes get her drunk off free drinks, then swoop in. It shows backbone when she says "hey can you buy me a drink?" expecting you to supplicate her just like every other ***** and you say "how about you buy me one and maybe i'll grace you with my presence for a bit."
If you're going to buy her one, make sure that she has invested in your interaction. If she's been sitting there for like 40 minutes and you guys are hitting it off, then great, buy her a damn drink. But dont be the guy that sidles up to the hottest chick there and buys her a shot of tequila hoping to get in her pants.
As a RULE, i say never buy a drink for a girl you haven't slept with yet or one that you're trying to sleep with.
If she's just a friend, then sure why not. But in MOST cases, if she's an attractive girl...she goes from guy to guy... politely making small talk with you while sipping the free drink. Then when she finishes it "well i have to get back to my friends....nice meeting you".
Let the chodes get her drunk off free drinks, then swoop in. It shows backbone when she says "hey can you buy me a drink?" expecting you to supplicate her just like every other ***** and you say "how about you buy me one and maybe i'll grace you with my presence for a bit."
If you're going to buy her one, make sure that she has invested in your interaction. If she's been sitting there for like 40 minutes and you guys are hitting it off, then great, buy her a damn drink. But dont be the guy that sidles up to the hottest chick there and buys her a shot of tequila hoping to get in her pants.