Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
That's why I posted this: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=56757&highlight=employ+deceive
Mike, you're very well informed about all those clusters and definitions. Some people are blind to this until they find "narcissists", "AWs", etc. After that when they inquire a little bit, they discover all the lies and manipulations done by those "people".
I HAD to learn this stuff in order to convince myself that I was not the crazy one!
Remember, I fell quite hard for this girl, not knowing what I now know. Here is more from another source and this will be my last on this subject unless directly assisiting another poster; there is now more than enough info here about this so that nobody can complain for lack of info:
Typical Cluster B stuff: Controlling, abusive, irrational, erratic. It's all about attention. She needs to be the center of attention and does not give a **** about anyone else. She will say or do whatever she feels like, which means whatever gets her attention. She does not like you, never did like you. You were just a source of "supply." Nothing more. Sources are people who provide admiration, attention, adulation, love, drama, and can be manipulated and controlled. It gives the Cluster B a sense of power and worth. It is their way. It is their only way. Everything else is an illusion. She conned you. Of course, as you are well aware, there were huge red flags waving savagely in front of your face and loud sirens screaming in your ears. But you did not see, nor did you hear. You were smitten. You thought you were special. She "liked" you. Well. We've all been there, so don't feel bad about being a target, and don't feel special. We've all been there. They use us, then discard us when they are done with us. They do come back, I hope you know that, to suck you dry if they can, so be prepared for it. You should run away, have no contact whatsoever with her, and learn as much as you can about these human parasites, vampires, and predators.
All Cluster Bs are addicted to attention, admiration, sex, lust, being wanted, desired, romance, etc., known as narcissistic supply, or just supply. They are erratic and have no emotional consistency and no impulse control. They are emotional hemophiliacs. So, at any moment they can feel totally infatuated with someone, but the feeling is fake in the sense that it exists in order to get supply. Getting married is one way to get supply. Taking a partner as far as possible is part of the drama. But infatuations shift, emotions change, and newness is required in order to get supply. They DO want commitment, but it is inconsistent. They want commitment from one person, then they meet someone else who gives better, newer supply. Also, they have no impulse control, so will act without thinking simply to get supply right away. They are never sick of jumping from one person to another, just as a drug addict is never sick of getting drugs. It is how they get supply. What they get sick of is being in a relationship that is steady. That is death to them. They need change, drama, new trends, excitement, and constant attention. It must be very tiring to be constantly looking for something new.
People with cluster B personality disorder use humans as objects. They easily move from one to another just as we get a new couch. They commonly have someone in waiting; cheating and lying are reflexes for them. They are pathological liars. Yes, you were used. It was "fake" in the sense that a small child "loves" a bicycle until a new one comes along, then the bike is discarded. You were a bike. That's the way it is with them. Get used to it, or get out. No contact is the best. You're right, it's serious business to mess with someone's heart and emotions. But Cluster B's don't care. Do you care about the feelings of the objects around you? Cluster B's know you have feelings, they just don't care. They use your feelings to get what they want: attention, adoration, sex, being wanted, etc. Then you are discarded when someone else can provide better supply
Just remember this: Cluster B's are children, manipulators who cannot regulate their emotions, they cannot relate normally, they use people as objects to satisfy their need for attention, dependency, sex, romance, and obsession, they are fakes, psychopaths, you cannot believe what they say or do because it is just role-playing to get people to respond, no one person can satisfy them, they have to play their game with many people, usually more than one at a time, they are 10 years old emotionally, they are mentally ill, they have no conscience, cannot view another person as a human being, we are just objects that supply their needs of attention, they want us to need them, they are cruel and unpredictable.
Their words are just words. They are used to get the attention, dependency, love, affection, etc. that she needs. They are manipulations. They are not true feelings; I don't think she can feel anything but immature excitement, physical pleasures, and depression. Love or affection as normal people know it are things she cannot feel, so she desperately needs to get them from others whom she then identifies with. She gets her identity by preying on others. She manipulates them into a love dependency, an obsession with her, then identifies with that to get the love she needed during childhood but did not get. Then when done, she moves on to the next victim, and we are left hanging, confused, shocked, damaged! They are not capable of mature love, they are like children who need attention and affection, so they get it however they can. It doesn't really matter to them who they get it from, in fact, one person cannot satisfy their needs, so they will continually jump from one relationship to another, often overlapping, and will dive into intimacy right away in order to get the love and obsession they want and need from others. They have little or no conscience about what they do, it is part of their nature and they consider it normal. They do not empathize with others, and therefore have little insight into how hurtful their behaviors are. These people are so cruel and hurtful. It is wrong to think of them as normal. When we remember the good times, we must also remember that they were fake. They were role playing for us to get their needs met. They need a daddy, sex, to be wanted, an obsession for them. They get their self esteem by being desired sexually. They mirror us in order to get that. It is a fix, it is their drug, to use people. Manipulation and control, domination and dependency are what they want and need. It is hard to understand.
It's not that they don't know, it's that it doesn't matter to them. Do you care what you say to your refrigerator? To a pencil? You say whatever is necessary to get what you need. These people want attention, adoration, sex, to be desired, to be worshipped, etc. They "know" what they are doing, but don't care one way or the other. They use people to get attention and adulation to feed their false sense of themselves. They know they are doing something hurtful, but will do it if it gives them attention. If kicking the refrigerator door will open it, then you kick it. You know it's hurting the refrigerator, but you don't care. These people cannot empathize with other people. They can't feel that we have feelings. They "know" we have feelings, but it doesn't connect to their emotions. They don't "feel" that we have feelings. Even if they did, they would still act the same because it is a reflex to support their need (they are addicted) for attention and admiration. They are children who have no true sense of self. They are machines!
All Cluster Bs are addicted to supply. They use words as tools to get people to react, so they can get sympathy, drama, attention, admiration, even anger. If you react to them, it means they are powerful and important, capable of controlling people, and using them. Cluster Bs do not use words to communicate, to help, to ask for advice, or to give support. They are only pretending to do that. They might not even know what they are doing themselves, some of the time. For nons, it is sooooo easy to get sucked in, to read (or hear) what a Cluster B says and react as if the words mean what such words usually mean. But, sadly, they do not. It is an act, role playing, a gimmick, a means to an end. An angry reply is as good as a sympathetic reply. To the Cluster B, all such replies are supply. Supply, supply, supply, that is why they are here, that is why they are there, that is why they are everywhere. When will you learn?
Words are useless. Cluster B's push buttons. They don't use words to communicate, they use them to get supply. They say this, then that, they say anything... whatever makes you give them attention or create drama or make them the center of your universe or get whatever they want at that particular moment. They are robots. They cannot empathize. They don't know what it's like to be a human being, so they can't imagine what we are experiencing. They are self-absorbed on their false selves. They are addicted to supply. Words, like any of their actions, are used only to get supply. It is pointless to use words for communication. That will not work! They idealize, and then eventually devalue. Moving on is what it is all about. They need to move on before they are found out. They need to recreate themselves. They need someone new, someone for whom they can create a new illusion and get drenched in attention, admiration, adulation, sex, lust, and caring. Eventually, that gets old, and then it's off to another target. I think it is rare that personality disorders change very much, and it is not possible for Cluster Bs to show and feel mature, adult love that includes impulse control, empathy, and caring.
