To break the cycle of an Attention Wh0re

[DJDamage]

Majority of AW's need to undergo psychlogical assesment and be helped by a professioal to help determine the root and cause of their problems. Their fears need to be addressed and be solved in order for them to actually be good and decent human being.

The only problem is that they themselves will have to want to do it and most of them won't. They feel their Attension Wh0ring is actually a positive quality because it makes them feel happy and powerful from all the attension they are recieveing and are able to manipulate their way through life by using this method.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Check this out!

Aws and narcissism are usually related, Mike and Damage check this post I found here by doing a search:

The narcissist is confident that people find him irresistible. His unfailing charm is part of his self-imputed omnipotence. This inane conviction is what makes the narcissist a "pathological charmer". The somatic narcissist and the histrionic flaunt their sex appeal, virility or femininity, sexual prowess, musculature, physique, training, or athletic achievements.

Narcissists firmly believe that being unique, they are entitled to special treatment by others. They deploy their "charm offensives" to manipulate their nearest and dearest (or even complete strangers) and use them as instruments of gratification. Exerting personal magnetism and charisma become ways of asserting control and obviating other people's personal boundaries.

The pathological charmer feels superior to the person he captivates and fascinates. To him, charming someone means having power over her, controlling her, or even subjugating her. It is all a mind game intertwined with a power play. The person to be thus enthralled is an object, a mere prop, and a toy.

In some cases, pathological charm involves more than a grain of sadism.

It provokes in the narcissist sexual arousal by inflicting the "pain" of subjugation on the beguiled who "cannot help" but be enchanted. He uses charm to help maintain object constancy and fend off abandonment – in other words, to ensure that the person he "bewitched" won't disappear on him.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, that's how we can destroy them:

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pathological charmers react with rage and aggression when their intended targets prove to be impervious and resistant to their lure. This kind of narcissistic injury – being spurned and rebuffed – makes them feel threatened, rejected, and denuded. Being ignored amounts to a challenge to their uniqueness, entitlement, control, and superiority. Narcissists wither without constant Narcissistic Supply. When their charm fails to elicit it – they feel annulled, non-existent, and "dead".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Expectedly, they go to great lengths to secure said supply. It is only when their efforts are frustrated that the mask of civility and congeniality drops and reveals the true face of the narcissist – a predator on the prowl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's an interesting explanation.

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

Originally posted by christz
I also should point out signs that the AW is breaking.

Sign 1 : She talks to you about the latest guy she's played pretty much she's shareing her AW ways with you indirectly

Sign 2 : SHe treats you with more respect now, and even talks about you to her friends AND family

Sign 3 : Compliments are more sencier and frequent

Sign 4 : Little things you say have a big impact on her.

Sign 5 : SHE LISTENS TO YOU

Basiclly all these signs which i'm sure there are more of, are little things to show you that the AW is breaking moveing in your direction. Because she is trusting you more, for the simple fact that her "hidden game" is now being revealed to you.

the game being how she lies to certian guys and what she does with and to them.

now although these are good signs, the thing about it is, she may still flake out on you simply because she's haveing an internal battle with herself of if to let you in further or not.

Don't take this personally and don't get AFC just act like it wasn't important, because you guys are just friends. the reasons AW will flake on you this far down the line, is because they KNOW what will happen if they see you, they know they will end up fu*king you which they don't want.

(because that would be what they do to other guys that mean nothing, in which she wants to seperate you from)

or maybe because they just didn't want to at the time, remember the AW is your friend right now, friends don't gotta hang out. understand that and stay emotonally detached and victory is yours down the road.

Lol. I have nexted a few female friends recently because of them flaking. I don't know if they were into me or not as much as they talked about the other guys they were currently gaming. But these girls started inviting to me here and there and then started standing me up. I'm like WTF, we are not dating what is this sh!t.

Perfect example of guys not being able to be friends with girls.

So, I'll agree with you up to that point. But how do you put up with being stood up by your friends? If this is your game, what is your next move after these people you are friends with start standing you up. I wasn't playing games with these girls, they were friends. Goes to show you, you can't be friends with women, sex always gets in the way.

I just don't see how you play off getting stood up? Nothing pisses me off more than that, my time is very precious and they know that! I have many groups of friends and I already spread myself pretty thin keeping up with all of them so wasting my time is a definite no no.

How the hell do you just not let someone wasting your time bother you?

Mr. Mystery

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Originally posted by DJDamage
This is very true Mike. If she gets upset because you left her its not because of your unique self, its because of the attension you supplied her. That is why when there is a new guy who gives her attension, its like watching a child get a new toy and forgeting about the old one. Eventually other guys will fill the empty void of attension and she wouldn't really care if you existed or not.

I think it was Blue Pheonix that said it: after they are done with you they walk all "happy" like nothing happened. I was floored when I first read this because this is what exectly happened to me and I couldn't understand where this behaviour dervied from.

This behaviour derives from the fact that Cluster B's lack what is known as "object constancy". What this basically means is out of sight-out of mind. When they have a new, steady source of "supply" they drop you like yesterdays newspaper and do not even give you a passing thought because the new source of supply is now right in front of them. Soon, in time, the same thing will happen to this new source of supply. It will get old and boring and it is time for the Cluster B to procure a fresh new source. This is why relationships never last for them. They do not think of us as humans with feelings and emotions. They lack empathy, otherwise known to normal humans as the ability to understand how we are feeling in any given situation concerning them or anything else for that matter. They just do not care about anybody elses feelings but their own. They do not miss you when you are out of their life, they only miss the supply you lavished upon them. They are emotionless creatures; everything they are doing is an act, a role to get narsissistic supply because that is what their whole world revolves around. Look up these terms on the web, you will see what you are dealing with is an Alice in Wonderland fairy tale that is their very existance:

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

Cluster B

Object Constancy

Lack of Empathy

Splitting--Black and White Thinking

Hoovering

Pathological Lying

Narsissistic Supply

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Originally posted by Mike_The_Man
Look up these terms on the web, you will see what you are dealing with is an Alice in Wonderland fairy tale that is their very existance:

Histrionic Personality Disorder

Cluster B

Pathological Lying

Narsissistic Supply

See a small part of this article:

One symptom of histrionic personality disorder is the use of exaggerated language and grandiose choice of words in communication (eg: awesome, incredible, astonishing, amazing, terrific, extraordinary, powerful, etc).

Being a histrionic person is as a life long dysfunctional and self destructive way of living.

Article from the book Emotional vampires.

 

[belividere]

christz,
I really do not think that you are actually refering to true AW's but rather sluts who are using attention as a short term gratification to band-aid a bigger emotional wound. Your examples all point to just that type. A girl who before she got hurt in a relationship didn't actually crave attention though now after a bad breakup is out in full force slutting around.

True AW's in my experience always have nothing but a ton of male friends of whom you will just put yourself on the list using this technique. Every attention ***** that I know is also always in a semi-serious relationship. They need to be in order to ensure that they will always have a constant source of attention.

I had said this in a thread yesterday, I really dont think that about 90% of what people on this board call AW's are actually AW's. I actually think that this term is way overused and is an excuse most of the time. Look every person in the world enjoys attention. AW's need attention and at levels beyond which most normal people would consider comfortable. The girls you describe seem to be seeking validation or revenge on their ex's or just men in general.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

I'd like to share a little story. I was once very close friends with an AW. We shared our war stories together, she gave me pointers, and we were pretty close.

Eventually as we grew older, I started getting attracted to her. I thought to myself, "Well she doesn't see me as the rest of the guys, maybe I'm something special to her." At this time I was learning some basic DJ principles, so I figured it was worth a shot.

So I made a few moves, a bit of light flirting, and surprisingly she was quite open to it. Things went higher and higher, until eventually we had sex.

I thought I was going to live happily ever after with a "reformed attention wh0re", but unfortunately things didn't go exactly as I planned. As we dated I was getting the feeling things weren't going right. She was still an AW, flirting with other guys, and treating me with less respect.

So one day I confronted her about it. She finally admitted that she had seen me as the greatest prize, because I was the one who never fell for her. I was still just a prize, a trophy to be won, not someone she actually cared about.



And that's the end. No happy ending for me.

Once an AW, always an AW. People don't change that easily.