"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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To all the Threads CK/eternal has closed...

CapiCrimini

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The only problem when you close a thread Is I don't get to thank you for stopping it... Otherwise It would go on forever... I hate that...So thank you for all the times you've stopped the flaming wars from erupting and closed threads... a tribute... since once the thread is closed we can't thank you... all my gratitude goes here.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Eternal

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Capi, stop with the ass kissing. You are the reason why I have to close a lot of the threads.
 

CapiCrimini

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Capi, stop with the ass kissing
I'm not ass kissing... Your my substitute for self-control
 

Vincent

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Originally posted by CapiCrimini
I'm not ass kissing... Your my substitute for self-control
:rolleyes:
 

CapiCrimini

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I'm serious... I'd be drawn into those flame wars forever... I jus can't stop... I've been sitting on hold for Sony's customer service for four hours now... I just can't hang up....
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Omega

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Owned.
 
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