**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

Lotus Effect

Senior Don Juan
Oct 1, 2013
São Paulo, Brazil
That's right!

You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did.

About your GF that just dumped you.
About this girl you have a 3 year crush.
How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl.
Anything like that... you got the idea!

You just don't know what to do. She is the love of your life. The perfect girl for you. And yet, she is f*cking some other dude but you.
You want to know what can you say, how can you act, what can you do to get her.
Here is a community of Don Juans, Casanovas and Pickup Artists, so they must know how to get every girl, therefore the answer must be lying here somewhere right?


As you ask, you will see a plethora of guys, some with lots of green dots under their names, some with few and some with just one dot. And they are all answering you the same answers:

Go spin some plates... Read the Bible...
Your princess is in another castle... Forget about this one...
Focus on yourself... You are the prize...
The minute you chase is the minute she flees...

Whatever the words, the main rule is always this:
Give up on this girl, because there is no chance you are getting her (Or like me, getting her back). She is not attracted to you, and whatever you try to do will be more unattractive. She does not respond to your neediness. Go ghost!

And then you get angry. You say that the guys don't get it. That they are all bitter women haters.
If at least we knew your girl, we would understand.
Your girl could not be like this, so supperficial.
She could not be acting like this. She is different. She is special...

She is the one.

I am deeply sorry to inform you. Your girl. Your perfect little girl.
She is not the exception...

She is the rule.

That is right. You just can't see it right now. You may need to take some heavy blows, like the ones I've got from mine, to fully understand this.
Yes, there is an exception to every rule. But again I'm sorry, because not mine, not yours, and not any girl ever mentioned in here will ever be the exception.
They are the sad rule.

If they were not the rule, you would not be here in the first place.

Do you know where would you be?
You would be right next to her, planning your retirement trip.

Is this what is happening right now? NO!
What is happening right now is you whining over the internet to a bunch of dudes that
trying to convice them that you girl is different.

She is not. She is like every other girl on the planet. It may sound bitter right now. But soon you will realise this is in fact a good thing. You'll embrace their nature, and treat'em for what they are. You cannot change their Nature.


Yes. You have the right to have a doubt. But you've got to stop with the whining!!
You start a thread. Thats ok.
You ask your question because you want to know what to do. Also ok
You don't get the answers you were looking for. Guess what genius? That is more than ok. That's the truth!

This dudes know pretty well what the hell they are talking about. It happened to them before. Some were dumped. Some were friendzone. Some were LJBFriended. And now, thanks to that, they understand how it works.

Again, I'm not saying you don't have the right to ask whatever you want. You do!
This is a community and the general idea in here is for people to help you.
The thing is that you got to accept the help that is given.
Don't keep pushing and pushing until you find one dude that says:
"Yeah, chase her, that's actually a good idea", because that will not happen.

Some of you guys might understand this at first. And that is great!
But some of you may not! And this latter guys will learn through pain!
I've learned through pain, and boy I've learned for good. I guess I could have not learned if it was not through pain. I needed the shock!

But you know what is the sad part?
The sad part of learning through pain is the extended period of it.
The sad part is that when you read back your posts 3 months from now, you'll see all the right answers were given to you, and you were just trying to find someone who would give you a little extra room for you to do something you knew it was stupid, only to regret it some couple posts after it!

I was not as stubborn as some guys are being recently, but I was adviced.
Even though, I've sent my ex a F*cking 3 pages long email, 3 months after the breakup. You know what happened?

She is enjoying her life with her new boyfriend (Which was her best friend that I was not supposed to be jeallous). Travelling, going to concerts, going to parties. Just being overall happy!

Do you know what does she thinks of me? That I'm a loser

She does not ever want to see me again. And she just can't imagine how one day she let me put my dirty little penis inside her golden vagina.

It took me some real time to get over this sh*t, and thankfully I'm over her. Regretfully though, I'm still strugling with the pain of acting as a doormat, and this is thanks to myself only for not listening to all the experienced advices. So do yourself a favour. LISTEN!

I know I'm not a loser. I'm dating other chicks. Some better looking than my ex, some not. And that is it. That is life.
You win some. You loose some. But see this loosing as an opportunity to improve.
Not just in game. No! In life. Work hard (or get out of your dead end job like I did). Workout. Train everyday. Eat right. Learn the rules of the game!
Just get your sh*t together.

You have to admit that you are a sh*tty right now, and that you are the only one responsible to pull yourself up! At the end of it, you will be a new man, with self respect and self worthy. Most of all. Self sufficient.

And what about this specific girl you are just asking?
Well, she will always be a selfish, relying b*tch, that depend on others to feel good about herself.

So what I'm trying to say with my little story is, Trust all the advice you hear in here. Some will be calm and colected. Some will be harsh. Anyway, trust them all. When some dude say "Don't do it" Don't do it. When someone say "Go ghost" Go. You got the idea!
Improve yourself. Become the better man

And please, stop with the whining. You are just embarassing yourself!

Peace! :up:
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Dec 10, 2013
Can the mods sticky this? It seems like every other day there is an AFC that pops up asking "Why won't my princess let me lick her feet?", "Why won't my princess return my texts", "Why does my princess look at other guys but won't give me the time of the day?" "Moan...moan...moan".

Anyway, experience is the best teacher. They will get to a breaking point and will eventually realize all their mistakes. I know I did.


Master Don Juan
Jul 4, 2008
San Diego, California
I love this post. This should be like a template post to give to any noobies who come in here asking such questions.


Apr 15, 2013
West Coast
A lot of the weaker men, or AFC'S, are very egotistical and become abruptly ignorant. I came here researching BPD for a project and found this forum. I then recognized and learned about the ego- which has helped me improve a lot. That ego that men are having nowadays is getting more apparent and its really just demoralizing and preventing men improve. No one wants to be hurt, so that ego protects them from anything "foreign" that's against their beliefs.

I'm seeing a lot more weak and needy behavior at my school and even outside of it. I was never deeply AFC like that, but I see a lot more coming out of the brickworks. I've even had a few encounters where guys told me kino was "wrong" and "disrespectful." I laughed in their face. I have a lot more female "friends" and they tell me horror stories about their AFC ex's and just what guys do to try and get with them. Maybe its just adolescents, but if it was, why are grown men still giving up their dignity to women? It could be feminism, it could be terrorists, it could be the president, it could be laws, it could be anything. It doesn't matter what it is.

The only thing that matters to us as men, is that we adapt and overcome this sickness. Some are wise enough to know how women work but aren't enlightened to know themselves which reveals their facade. We can try and help the fellow man but as long as their ego maintains their ignorance, they will have to take as much of a beating to only change slightly and slowly. I even heard today that a guy was spending $1,200 on a necklace for a girl he's been exclusive with for less than six months. I already knew none of my advice would get through to him. If you can let your ego down, then you are on the path to being a man and the sky will be your limit.

Don't get frustrated, they require a lot of patience.


Master Don Juan
Sep 12, 2013
Playpen, Chicago.
Repped. The same redundant information being spewed to AFC's over and over again that have gotten dumped and think their is something they can do, think their case is special, and don't want to LISTEN AND LEARN.

Golden rule - you cannot change a woman's feelings with logic and action geared towards winning her affection. Anything you do will validate her decision that you deserved to get dumped as you are now trying to compensate for your phaggotry. She sees right through it further diminishing her attraction and strengthening her view of you as a weak and pathetic loser.

The only action you should be taking is improving upon yourself, for yourself, from the shell of a man you have become. Do this immediately so that you may become a more attractive guy and can start pulling badder b*tches sooner rather than later. You WILL ultimately come out ontop. You WILL have the last laugh as her Gina tingles because you walked away like a F*CKING MAN with your balls and dignity intact and could give a f*ck about what once was an illusion of her being the prize or "the one" - the mindset that got you dumped in the first place.

Anything you do other than this WILL result in castration. PERIOD.

Lotus Effect

Senior Don Juan
Oct 1, 2013
São Paulo, Brazil
Dgwizdal said:
Anything you do other than this WILL result in castration. PERIOD.
Spot on!

It maybe one girl opinion about you. The whole world may believe otherwise. But if you act as a pvssy with this girl, you will have the feeling that your balls have been chopped off. For good.

The worst part, is that you will have to swallow that feeling for yourself. No one can do it for you, and there is nothing you can do to change that woman's mind about you. Nothing!

You have to admit to yourself you were a pvssy. Improve yourself. And move on to the next one.

If one day she has the opportunity to see your improvements, great. By then you will have suffered so damn much, and hardened yourself to an extreme that her opinion will be nothing. But don't go changing and improving counting that one day she might return to see what is going on.

This is a recipe for failure!

Once again, all of this are way easier said than done!

Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
Dec 22, 2009
This should be required reading for all newbies.


Master Don Juan
Oct 17, 2004
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lotus Effect again.

Great post! I've been guilty of rejecting solid advice too.

It's true that no one here knows "your" girl as well as you do, but one thing you have to realise is that once she loses attraction, she becomes just like any other disinterested girl.


Master Don Juan
Jun 3, 2013
Excellent ! repped !

edit: maybe not lol - You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lotus Effect again.
Oct 19, 2008
My advice to the noobs.

Don't think about dating until you are perfectly content with being by yourself.

The moment you put a woman as your number one priority is the moment you lose yourself as a man.

good post!
Aug 25, 2013
This should be stickied and posted as a 'read before you post'. 99% of the users here will have experienced similar trials to this. But it does take a certain kind of man (at a certain point in their life) to absorb this information, apply it and learn from it. Some men/boys just don't want to hear it. What is like to know I show to get through to these boneheads?


Master Don Juan
Aug 26, 2012
Noobs that put up 1500 word essays about their problems should get minimal responses back. They should get it in chunks, rather than at once, because these fücking guys don't even come back anymore. They read our hard advice and abandon ship thinking we are nuts. I've spent too much time typing away and the fücker never came back. Gone. So I don't even bother now unless I see him replying.

In other words, spin plates, go ghost.

Lotus Effect

Senior Don Juan
Oct 1, 2013
São Paulo, Brazil
I don't want to be the douchebag that now know some stuff and now I'm trying to repress the newcomers.

It is not that at all!

In fact I believe otherwise. I believe it is healthy to come and ask, after all, you don't know. As I said, everyone has the right to ask. Everyone has the right to commit mistakes. Nobody in here can stop anyone from doing anything. It's good to make mistakes.
You learn fast. You grow up fast.

But if you are coming for advice, believe the advice you hear, specially if everybody is telling you the exact same thing! You can argue about it, since you may not understand at first. But keep on coming and coming and coming, 3 pages long thread, criticizing everyone, telling that nobody get you, your situation is different and all of that will not going to get you anywhere...

In fact it will. It will land you in the Land of Pain

And thanks to yourself, and you stubborness, you'll receive a free extension of your period of doubt and pain. What a great deal!!!

And that's all for the Price of your Sanity!

Call now!
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Nov 4, 2013

I would want to see a version of this post stickied.
It might be a little too long however.
On the other hand, I would add the following suggestion.
Tell the newbie a list of concepts he should be aware of and mildly understand, say top10 keywords:

Why? Because when you're a blue pill, nothing gets in your head. You have to make a crack on the wall first. They don't understand the basic dynamics, the basic rules of the game. Brainwashed on disney films and nice guy attitude.

I would also add something along these lines:
"We're not telling you to be a jerk and an as*hole, but you do not understand the rules of the game yet. First understand the rules. Know how short and long term attraction works and then, only then, can you make a choice or bend the rules."

Make newbies read this post:
Nov 4, 2013
This is the post linked above, that every fvcking bluepill should read.

"Man affections vs boy affections

a while back i finally figured out what makes a good relationship.

most of the gamey talk is all focused on getting laid. getting laid is the easiest thing in the world, after you do it for a while. what’s not nearly as simple is to maintain an excellent relationship. i’m going to venture out on a limb and say that MOST relationships are crap. and yet it’s really just two fundamental principles, that determine the success of any relationship. it’s ridiculous that it took me so long to figure this out.

my relationships used to be sort of average. have a girlfriend, sometimes you get along, sometimes you don’t. sometimes she’s a ****, sometimes she’s nice. sooner or later there are the annoying bits of jealousy and wondering if she’s cheating, and then all the arguments and breakups. standard ****.

to figure out why most relationships suck, eventually you have to look at the type of emotional connection you are seeking:

emotional validation from your partner
being able to ‘trust’ your partner
support from your partner
sort of, almost unconditional love from your partner, ‘as you are’
seeking approval from your partner
there’s more aspects, but that’s probably enough to make the point we’re getting to.

we are simple creatures. we are programmed to have an emotional connection to the opposite sex. to get a little weird about it for a second though, think about how this programming expresses itself:

there are only two types of man-love our brain is wired for.

one, the love you got, wanted to get, hoped for, maybe experienced – from you mother, as a child. that’s a key kind of emotional connection to the female. and, as much as that sounds ****ed up, it’s the type of connection most men are trying to find again in their adult life – from a girlfriend / wife.

seriously consider this. look at the few bullet points above. what kind of ‘love’ is that? let’s not judge it, just look at it objectively. that’s how most men view love. they don’t think about it consciously, but that’s the love they got to experience as a child.

here’s some news: no girl will ever love you like your mom did.

before we get a bit more into that, let’s look at the other type of man-love our brain has wiring for:

the love a father has for his daughter.

again, we have to remove all the incestous, sexualized, weird bits of it, and just look at the emotional components that drive the type of interaction, expectation, dependence, and outcome. how does a father love his daughter?

giving emotional validation to the child
rationing trust, with having ‘hand’ – control
providing support
molding her in his image
giving approval, as long as the child does at it is supposed to
compare these bullets to the ones above. how do you feel about that? take out the mother / daughter thing. just look at the giving & taking ratios, look at where the control lies.

there is always control in a relationship. question is just – who has it?

there is no other emotional romantic connection wiring in our brain. it’s either seeking the love you got from your mother as a child, or creating the love you get from your offspring.

everything manosphere talks about fits into this model. the whole concept of ‘beta’ is embodied in how men deal with women who they want maternal love from. they are the weak ones, seeking approval, expecting this ocean of support, putting a woman on a pedestal. and guess what – it works for ****. mom love is done after you are grown up. realizing that means having to step away from that, coming to terms with the fact that this kind of emotional bond is DONE. being a man means being at the top of the social hierarchy. on the flip side, relationships suddenly work incredibly well when you treat a girl not like an adult that you look up to, an adult that you seek validation from – but like a child.

think about it. **** tests? from an adult, maybe. but a child? how do you treat a child who **** tests you? well … a lot of men haven’t grown up enough to be called men, so they still wouldn’t know. but for some of us, all that’s missing is this conscious realization. you don’t seek the validation of a child, do you? you don’t ask a child if it’s ok for you to go out, do you? when you want a child to do something, how do you address it?

i’m not saying, ‘be a ****’. you still game children, a lot. you want to reward them for good behavior. dealing with kids isn’t easy, either. but if you figure that out, then you also figure out a healthy relationship with a girl. i don’t really believe that the ‘******* game’ is a fully evolved strategy. it’s just better than wanting a replacement mom. so when a girl has the choice between a grown up (who is an *******) vs a sniveling boy who wants a mother – she will of course pick the *******.

but give her the choice between a father figure, an *******, and a sniveling boy and the father figure will win, every time. part of that is giving validation, creating boundaries, being clearly in control.

if you want a great relationship, start reading parenting psychology books (not the new age feminist ones). and dog training books. you can take this however far you want, once you get comfortable. xsplat likes to go full on daddy. it’s a genius move. a bit depraved? maybe. but better than the advocates of game stuff who act like children themselves – basically saying ‘treat girls like you are 12 and in a sandbox with a girl’. and better than mainstream culture which puts out disney **** and romantic comedies that all emulate maternal love relationships (which don’t exist).

my relationships have become something entirely different since i started taking the father figure approach. girls love it. they are willing to do anything and everything, and the general bull**** from girls is maybe 5% of what it used to be – before i figured this out.

Original Source: http://www.cedonulli.com/healthy-vs-****ty-relationships-two-principal-types-of-love/"
Nov 4, 2013
What I mean is: the DJ bible and the book of pook are too long for a first session.

There should be a one-hour read that we could tell newbies to go read before asking anything.