Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Tinder 1st meet pulled back to my room; but denied my kiss advances

baurman

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Met a girl from Tinder for the first time today after chatting for a week and we ate at the mall and walked to the park and sat down, she was trying to get me to ride a bicycle and i was jus thinking im gonna pull back to my place, so i just said Lets go and I just LEAD back to my place and by the time she asked me "where are we going" I pointed and said "this is my condo over here, let me charge my phone real quick" so we came inside she started asking me questions about random things, we sat on the couch and put Superman vs Batman on Netflix. I put my arm around her, I'm massaging her shoulder, I throw her feet over my legs, everything seems to be going good. While we were talking about random stuff, I made her laugh then I just went in for the kiss.... and denied! she turned her face. I didnt mention it I just put my attention back to the TV and thought ok act like nothing happened. I started massaging her hands and she kept saying "it feels so good" and this time I looked her in the eyes and waited and SLOWLY moved my face to hers and shes like "what are you doing??" and as I went in for the kiss again she moved away. but everytime I held her leg or put my arm around her, it was ok so I'm not sure why she didn't want to do anything else. When I tried to kiss her on my last attempt she said "no kissing! only kiss if you are my boyfriend."



so then I was thinking do I just tell her things that she wants to hear? since she said shes looking for a boyfriend, do I say I am looking for a girlfriend too? She kept telling me she doesn't want a guy who talks to many girls, so do I agree and say "Yeah I don't talk to many girls, you're the only girl im seeing" to see if it drops her guard? She starts talking to me about her past and said first she wants to make sure im not a playboy, i told her we can be together but only if we learn more about each other first since its the 1st date. i put her legs on my legs and started rubbing her legs but everytime i tried to make a move to kiss her she would stop me and i didnt want to feel like i was forcing her to do anything so then she told me "let's shake on it instead" dafuq. Should I have just carried her to my bed? Or just accept some girls just won't **** you even though she comes to your place. At least I tried to make the moves. Girls decide if she's gonna **** or not before she even comes over maybe she just didn't want to do it on the first meet.


So where do you go from here? What should I do next and what could I have done to make things more favorable or have lead to sex or I would still have no chance if she rejects my kiss?
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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sosousage

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dont be affraid to kiss in public lol you would save so much time

just block her and next time kiss in public


yeah if she rejected ur kiss u have no chance lol
 

TBG

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First mistake Batman Vs Superman. What a trash movie.

I would've flipped it on her. Ask how many other guys she's talking to, cause dude you aren't the only one. So why is it okay for her, but it makes you a player?

Also why are you talking about being together after one date? Even if she told you her entire life story in that one date, you still don't know her.
 

Glassguy

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First off, I dont think this chick really wanted to go back to your place. You basically tricked her by just going in that direction. Secondly, unless things are going really well and the chick is showing me signs of being open to hanging at my place/her place, I keep the date shorter and fun and part ways. If she says stuff like "what are we going to do next", "The evening is still early so what do you want to do now", "I am having a great time and I am not ready to go home yet".....those are keys to escalate to taking things to a more private environment.

I would never tell a woman "You're the only girl I am talking to" even if she was. How does that raise your SMV? It doesnt. It lowers it.

"I only kiss a guy if he is my boyfriend"- you did the right thing by blowing that comment off, but after the second attempt to kiss her and her denying you, I would have made up an excuse to get her out of my place. But you can also go back to the first thing I said in this post- she showed you zero signs of being sexually interested in you before you tricked her into coming to your place, so its no wonder that she behaved the way that she did.

Her sexual interest in you is low at best. If you want to see where this leads with her, this is one time that I would advise to ask her out again but do not make the same mistakes twice. If she meets up with you again (which I would think is a very small chance at this point) you should make no sexual comments or physical advances. You should see if you can spin her into chase mode.

Never take a woman back to your place, especially on a first encounter, unless she has given you strong signals that she is dtf.
 

Bible_Belt

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I think playing a movie is a mistake, regardless of the movie. If you are interested enough in each other, you shouldn't need the movie.

OP's largest problem is that he is one-dimensional. That's why she is drilling him about being a playboy, because he is not putting forward any other face. Don't be so obvious. She needs to wonder if you want her. There was no wondering here, no mystique, no allowing her to have some fantasy of romance.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Doctor Europeo

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Don´t burn any bridges but for now focus on other plates. She could end up being useful somehow in the future, just be careful to not become an orbiter.
 

baurman

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First mistake Batman Vs Superman. What a trash movie.

Also why are you talking about being together after one date? Even if she told you her entire life story in that one date, you still don't know her.
The movie doesnt really matter. I just put on the first thing I saw instead of spend 15 minutes figuring out what movie to watch because I wasnt planning on watching the movie anyways

She said shes looking for something long term, not just a fling. Her last boyfriend cheated on her and had many other girls. So how exactly would me playing the "yeah I'm seeing other girls/dating/talking to other girls" supposed to make her have sex with me? If anything comforting her and saying no I'm not like that would make her feel more comfortable with me and getting her to trust me instead of playing the "Im high value and I can get any girl" card. Sometimes you need to bend the rules a little to match what you think the girl wants. Now of course if she wasnt really looking for a boyfriend then I would have agreed and said yeah im not looking for anything serious.
 

marmel75

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The movie doesnt really matter. I just put on the first thing I saw instead of spend 15 minutes figuring out what movie to watch because I wasnt planning on watching the movie anyways

She said shes looking for something long term, not just a fling. Her last boyfriend cheated on her and had many other girls. So how exactly would me playing the "yeah I'm seeing other girls/dating/talking to other girls" supposed to make her have sex with me? If anything comforting her and saying no I'm not like that would make her feel more comfortable with me and getting her to trust me instead of playing the "Im high value and I can get any girl" card. Sometimes you need to bend the rules a little to match what you think the girl wants. Now of course if she wasnt really looking for a boyfriend then I would have agreed and said yeah im not looking for anything serious.
You clearly have a lot to learn about how women work and how what women say they want and what they actually respond to are completely different.
 

TBG

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The movie doesnt really matter. I just put on the first thing I saw instead of spend 15 minutes figuring out what movie to watch because I wasnt planning on watching the movie anyways

She said shes looking for something long term, not just a fling. Her last boyfriend cheated on her and had many other girls. So how exactly would me playing the "yeah I'm seeing other girls/dating/talking to other girls" supposed to make her have sex with me? If anything comforting her and saying no I'm not like that would make her feel more comfortable with me and getting her to trust me instead of playing the "Im high value and I can get any girl" card. Sometimes you need to bend the rules a little to match what you think the girl wants. Now of course if she wasnt really looking for a boyfriend then I would have agreed and said yeah im not looking for anything serious.
You don't don't say anything at all.

If she asks "So just how many other girls are you talking to?", turn around and tell her "Who's the girl I'm choosing to spend time with?". If she doesn't appreciate you giving up your time to spend it with her, next her.
 

baurman

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You clearly have a lot to learn about how women work and how what women say they want and what they actually respond to are completely different.
From my experience when I tell them I am dating other girls and seeing other girls I don't hear from them ever again. Not all girls want to waste their time investing in a guy who seems like a player and dates many other women at the same time.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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marmel75

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From my experience when I tell them I am dating other girls and seeing other girls I don't hear from them ever again. Not all girls want to waste their time investing in a guy who seems like a player and dates many other women at the same time.
Its never the message its how you deliver it.
 
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