Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Time To Get Some Pu55Y

Desdinova

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Made my last visit to the divorce lawyer today to tie up some loose ends. I'm officially divorced. All I'm waiting for now is the final bill which is gonna hurt my savings, but I should have more than enough to pay it. If not, I have excellent credit and can borrow the money for the time being.

It's over. No more fighting. No more stressing over this 5hit. I've abandoned dating until this 5hit was done and over with. Well, it's done. Time to get my ass out there and start sarging again.

Over the last little while, I've been building up a bullpen. I've got chicks hovering around me, but I haven't closed the deal on any of them. I needed to get rid of all the stress this divorce was causing before I could pursue anything. There's an elderly woman at one of my regular hangouts who's hooking me up with her niece this Friday. The place is full of social proof. EVERYBODY greets me when I walk in. If I deem this chick to be fvckable, bagging her shouldn't be a problem.

It's good to be returning back to my world. I've missed it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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guru1000

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Why so stressed about the divorce, Des?

Divorce should be a celebration. An evolvement of sorts. I even bought a celebratory gift for my soon-to-be ex-w.
 

Desdinova

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guru1000 said:
Why so stressed about the divorce, Des?
The money, the uncertainty, and how much it's fvcked up my life for the last 2 1/2 years. After paying the final bill, there's nothing but empty fields ahead of me. I'll be building my own tropical amusement park on those empty fields.
 

guru1000

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Having been through my fair share of hurdles including divorce, I've come to the unequivocal conclusion that all ostensible "bad" events are indeed blessings. If you look a little deeper, you will find the underlying "gold" buried in your grievance.
 

Desdinova

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I'm not grieving the loss of the bytch. I did that while I was still married to her. The only thing I'm grieving is the loss of all the cash I worked so hard to save up. But after that payment is done, all my money will be mine.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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guru1000

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When I state grievance, that is to whatever, wherever you feel a loss.

I gave a healthy chunk to my x. She deserved it. But, relinquishment of assets, led me to greener pastures in my professional life. A fertile trade-off!

That's what I mean by "gold" buried in the grievance. That is, of course, if you are looking for the buried treasure.
 

logicallefty

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Desdinova said:
I'm not grieving the loss of the bytch. I did that while I was still married to her. The only thing I'm grieving is the loss of all the cash I worked so hard to save up. But after that payment is done, all my money will be mine.
Agree with this point of view. It's not uncommon to grieve the money, and time, that you wasted with a woman even when you are no longer grieving the loss of the woman herself. Today I only have 1/10th the savings I once had, and 93% of said loss was due to my own poor choices in women and the money they cost me directly or indirectly. I try not to think about it but it's hard sometimes.

Glad you are free Des! Happy hunting!
 

sodbuster

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Yeah, I got mine a day after the lawyer texted me..... ONLY problem was EVERY woman had a fat friend she wanted me to date.... it would have been a good deal for THEM.... not for me.
 

guru1000

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logicallefty said:
Today I only have 1/10th the savings I once had, and 93% of said loss was due to my own poor choices in women and the money they cost me directly or indirectly.
Hey, I can totally empathize with you: I've been down that road already. But the question is does your feeling of being "robbed" assist in or detract from your progression and development? Either way, lesson learned. Understood. Why carry the psychological baggage?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Desdinova

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The loss of the cash has caused me to hold off on house renovations and has set back my plans on replacing my vehicle. Sure, I can say "I still own a house" or "my vehicle is still running", but that's 2 1/2 years of profit and time that I'll never get back.

I'm boiling it all down to an expensive lesson learned. However, I did learn a few new tricks during this whole thing. I've learned how to survive on 5hit that I scrounge up. Pretty much all of my divorce is being paid for directly from scrounging up stuff for cash. I've saved tons of money by tapping into resources for free stuff, including clothing for my child. I don't remember the last time I bought him anything aside from footwear and a winter jacket.

The best part? My ex-wife is probably wondering how the hell I'm paying for my lawyer.
 

zekko

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Desdinova said:
The best part? My ex-wife is probably wondering how the hell I'm paying for my lawyer.
How is she paying for her lawyer, I wonder?

Congratulations on getting that divorce finalized. Mine only took six months and I think you've said yours has been going on for three years! I know I was irritated that it took so long to get mine done, I can imagine how aggravated you must have been.

Looking forward to future tales of glory :)
 

Tenacity

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So glad I will never have to go through this or Child Support. No financial setbacks for me, only continued financial progression.

Des yes, I would go out and have some fun as this weight is now off your back. Look forward, realize your mistakes, and if a chick tries to get you to marry again because she's your "soul-mate," now you will know that's a complete load of BS.
 

Vulpine

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*handshakes*
*backslaps*

*offers Des a cuban cigar*

Go get it, man. Congratulations.

:cheer:
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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