Just curious. You start to get involved with a girl, and she tells you in months time she'll be moving away. But it doesn't seem to add up...she won't leave you alone, is qualifying herself to you, always wants to know what you're up to, gives you every buying signal possible... Would a chick put it on the line like that?
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Threatened to move away?
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"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
SteakAndRice
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It means she wants you to move away with her.
LOL. Not ready for anything like that. This chick is still testing my branch.SteakAndRice said:It means she wants you to move away with her.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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SteakAndRice's answer is the most logical and likely reset and I agree with it.
I'd wager an AW that was moving away would do this to a guy too for some last minute attention seeking and validation but you know their kind well so it can't be one of them.
I'd wager an AW that was moving away would do this to a guy too for some last minute attention seeking and validation but you know their kind well so it can't be one of them.
She's not an AW. I've know her for almost a year now, she had a boyfriend so I held back, kept her coming after me, coming after me, you know the drill. We've been doing that whole branch testing dance thing.
A few weeks ago she said out of the blue she was planning to move back to another city in this state, where she went to school to pursue her music career (we're both into that). I didn't really say much about it.
Then last week she tells me she's going to break up with the bf (offers all this info to me, I've never even discussed him with her), move into a new apartment. Oh yeah she's ALSO going to move to the other side of the world in a few months. And I'm like well I guess you're at that age where you can pick up and move on (she's 24, been with this guy for four years) and she's like you can too, you have no wife or children here. You're better than this place (we work together) etc.
At this point she's all over me, and I made maybe the mistake of telling her that I was interested in her. Probably walked right into it. No sort of closing yet.
And I'm like all this has been building up for her to just move away on a whim? Yeah, obviously I really like this girl. But what's the sense in taking something further if she's just going to split. She's still living with this guy. For awhile. Or maybe longer. I don't know. Supposedly she's in the new apartment in a week or so.
I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a little confused here.
A few weeks ago she said out of the blue she was planning to move back to another city in this state, where she went to school to pursue her music career (we're both into that). I didn't really say much about it.
Then last week she tells me she's going to break up with the bf (offers all this info to me, I've never even discussed him with her), move into a new apartment. Oh yeah she's ALSO going to move to the other side of the world in a few months. And I'm like well I guess you're at that age where you can pick up and move on (she's 24, been with this guy for four years) and she's like you can too, you have no wife or children here. You're better than this place (we work together) etc.
At this point she's all over me, and I made maybe the mistake of telling her that I was interested in her. Probably walked right into it. No sort of closing yet.
And I'm like all this has been building up for her to just move away on a whim? Yeah, obviously I really like this girl. But what's the sense in taking something further if she's just going to split. She's still living with this guy. For awhile. Or maybe longer. I don't know. Supposedly she's in the new apartment in a week or so.
I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a little confused here.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
No. She's not available. May be becoming available.Telos said:Have you ****ed? Do you have a sexual relationship?
aussiegoat55
Senior Don Juan
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This is what they told us in high school about class selection. If you have a friend who wants to take French as a language and you decide to take French as well just to be in the same class as your friend but don't really have any interest in French and your friend develops a passion for French and wants to study French culture/language in Paris and you decide to tag along, well..., who's life are you living? Somewhat of a similar analogy to yours.
So I'll give you some of the same advice you gave me. Do what YOU want. Follow your passions. Don't live her life. Now suppose you have the same passions, dreams, and goals. Do you really know her well enough to pack up and change your current life, unlike her boyfriend of 4 years, that seems more appropiate? May sound fun, adventurous, and hey, some risks pay great rewards. But do you trust her?
If there was any hesitation to the trust question I wouldn't be so hasty as to run off. Give it some time, think about it, collect some new information which should help you make a decison
What it all boils down to is doing what you want, doing what feels "right" inside, doing what your gut feels.
Keep us up to date.
So I'll give you some of the same advice you gave me. Do what YOU want. Follow your passions. Don't live her life. Now suppose you have the same passions, dreams, and goals. Do you really know her well enough to pack up and change your current life, unlike her boyfriend of 4 years, that seems more appropiate? May sound fun, adventurous, and hey, some risks pay great rewards. But do you trust her?
If there was any hesitation to the trust question I wouldn't be so hasty as to run off. Give it some time, think about it, collect some new information which should help you make a decison
What it all boils down to is doing what you want, doing what feels "right" inside, doing what your gut feels.
Keep us up to date.
Thanks aussie. Of course I wouldn't move to a different country for a girl. The other city she mentioned, probably, but it would be because I want to move to big city anyway. But that's like, a hell of a ways off.
She moved here a year ago to follow him from that city. I think she wants to move back. I don't really believe she's moving to another country. It just doesn't add up... it seems like some kind of test.
In ANY case, yes I'm going to do what's right for me. Thanks for the reminder.
She moved here a year ago to follow him from that city. I think she wants to move back. I don't really believe she's moving to another country. It just doesn't add up... it seems like some kind of test.
In ANY case, yes I'm going to do what's right for me. Thanks for the reminder.
aussiegoat55
Senior Don Juan
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Well, if there are better job options, opportunities to advance your life, or whatever in a big city with what it will have to offer, go for it, do it for yourself.
Yeah, the girl should just be an extra benefit to moving to the city.
Yeah, the girl should just be an extra benefit to moving to the city.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.