"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Thoughts on younger women

NSUballer

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I recently met this 23 college girl. Finally got her out with me this weekend and showed her a good time. She was holding my hand and arm while we walked through the busy city streets and was being affectionate during the football game. I tried to kiss her once during the game but she pulled back a little. Kiss closed at my house when we got home.

The next day I realize I mistakenly left my $150 sunglasses in her purse. I think I might have subconsciously did that on purpose. That morning I text her and she says "yup!" I text a couple more times to no response. Later that night I text her after 8 hours basically hey I just want my sunglasses back I can't believe you won't answer me.

I could have easily met her and got them or her bring them to me. She responds sorry I had a bad day bring them to you tomorrow (today). I know I may have been to pushy but I wanted my dam $150 Costas back and didn't see any reason why that couldn't happen yesterday. Impatience I guess and a little selfishness.

She's a really cute girl who admittedly has a drinking problem. My problem is I'm having a hard time reading her interest level. On one hand I realize she spent 10 hours with me and kissed me and on the other cynical side I think she just wanted to go to the Saints game.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Boilermaker

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Dude, you acted like a 3-year old and you are still talking about your her interest level? Just because she didn't attend to your fvcking text messages in 3 minutes doesn't make her a thief or an alcoholic! Are you really that needy?

"Hey I just want my sunglasses back I can't believe you won't answer me"

must qualify as the most insecure, moronic text message I could think of, sent to a cute chick who you want to fvck. Plus she kissed you the very previous day...!

You totally acted like an idiot, and if she is gracious enough to talk to you again, do apologize and admit how stupid you have been. And then run.

Really.
 

NSUballer

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10 hours and 3 minutes are quite a difference in my opinion. It takes literally seconds to read and reply to a text. If she had left something of hers in my car that she either needed or wanted I wouldn't ignore it for 10 hours for no apparent reason barring serious illness or injury to myself or family member.

Maybe I expect too much ??

I would not have text or called her once until next week if she didn't have something valuable of mine.
 

NSUballer

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I didn't mention the previous less aggressive text message with a much less aggressive tone saying "hey when can I get my glasses back?"

I feel like it shouldn't have taken until almost 11 at nite to respond. Only after the more direct approach. I didn't care what her deal was, I expected at least to know SOMETHING in a reasonable amount if time and I let her know I was not ok with that.
 

The Duke

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I'd say yes she should have replied earlier in regards to your sunglasses. A little rude. I'd be upset too. However I'd of played it a little differently.

I would bet that her bad day excuse and her apprehension to kiss you were all due to her not being over an ex? Perhaps she just went out with you for self validation.

And why did you take a girl to a nfl football game for a first date? That's a lot of $$$ to drop on someone you don't even know. It does nothing but continue putting women on pedestals and aid in their self entitlement views.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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cordoncordon

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Some of you guys crack me up. You are always too worried about what the guy did wrong, or what we did to negatively affect the girl. And in many cases I agree...but not here.

This guy took the girl to a NFL football game, a very expensive proposition. Yeah, he shouldn't have done that for a first date, but he did so whatever. He spent I'm sure a decent amount of change on her. So he leaves his very expensive, and to him VERY important sunglasses in her purse, texts her about getting them back, and she doesn't have the common decency to reply back within a reasonable time? Fawk her. I know if some girl took me to an NFL game, and she left her sunglasses in my truck or home? And she texted the next day do I have them and can she get them back? I would have replied right away "sure thing where do you want to meet to get them?" I mean its just common courtesy.

Actually this worked out well for the OP. This in a way was a test. And she failed. Or she just has low IL in the OP. Because I can promise you if she was a decent person who had high IL in OP? She would have replied to that text in a second. But noooo, she's too busy or had too bad of a day or too low of IL in OP to respond. After what OP just did for her? Again, screw her.

And OP, once you do get your glasses back? I would not contact her again. Trust me it will blow her mind. Only see her again IF she contacts you and offers to take you out.

Good luck.
 

mrRuckus

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"She's a really cute girl who admittedly has a drinking problem. My problem is I'm having a hard time reading her interest level."

Nah dude, your problem is that you give a sh1t about someone's interest level who has a drinking problem.
 

Three

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^THIS. You cannot trust the crazy party girl type. Drinking problem? It's just expensive sunglasses at risk now, but if you're in a relationship with someone like this, how will you ever trust her?
 

NSUballer

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I've dated the party girl before so it's nothing new. I never said I was interested in a relationship at least not exclusive or ltr. I don't really trust many people anyway so that's irrelevant in this situation.

She dropped the glasses off Tuesday afternoon and for the record she paid for her share of the expenses on Sunday. Btw it's much cheaper to go to a game here, especially when you have free tickets. Taking a girl to a saints game is almost like fishing with dynamite down here..
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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NSUballer

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Drinking is such a big part of the culture down here it's really difficult to find anyone who doesn't drink at least sometimes, most people drink a lot more than you guys might be used to. I used to drink a lot more than I do now and that's probably more than most if the people on this board.
 
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