I've dated a good handful of BPD chicks, and a couple pretty seriously. The truth is, it's hard not to be attracted to these types, but then they drive you f**king crazy and you have to get out or get sucked into neurotic relationship patterns yourself.
I used to try to justify it. I'd say, "Everyone's f**ked up. I'm f**ked up, and anyone who tells you they don't have some sort of triggers or emotional sh*t is lying. The challenge is learning to accept each other." But, then, you can't save anyone, you can't fix anyone, and the difference between all the f**ked up guys on this forum looking for help and the BPD chicks they've dated is that guys will actually admit that they have issues and seek support and advice and help and try to change the direction of their lives while BPD chicks feel totally justified in their maniac abusive behavior and will never seek to adjust themselves. They might admit to you that they were raped or molested or have abandonment issues, but they feel safe in their victimization and don't truly seek to overcome it. If you love them enough, you'll put up with their sh*t and let them try to mold your life and being, seems to be the philosophy. If you won't, it's cause you're a cold, calculating a**hole who deserves all the worst of their rage.
What is BPD? It is just a label. I think all clinical psychological labels are BS, but we need language to describe personality types so that we can more easily identify what could turn into a totally toxic life. Don't worry about, "WELL ALL BUT THIS SYMPTOM IS MISSING SO SHE ISNT BPD F**K YOUR CAUTION WE WILL MAKE IT WORK" and just identify whether or not this girl seems too unstable for a mature, lasting relationship.
The truth is, though, BPD chicks f**k like rockstars and are more empathic (at times) than most regular chicks, so it's real easy to get sucked in. Just don't think it's gonna be easy getting out once you're in.