GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
- Messages
- 953
- Reaction score
- 690
- Age
- 30
What’s going on, gents. I’m excited to finally post something on SS. I’ve been reading the advice over the past few months and finding it extremely therapeutic and insightful at times. This is my first post so I’ll explain a little bit of where I am in my dating life. I recently (in March), broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years – friend for 6. The relationship and the breakup for my first and I didn’t deal with it so well. Perhaps I’ll detail it in another post, but for now let’s just say I would’ve dealt with it better if I had found this site sooner. SS has given me insight on my own actions and helped me as I become more aware.
But bump all dat. Listen:
There's this girl in my class, she's an international student. And I met her maybe the second week of school and had some casual conversation about the class and parted ways. Conversation was fine, she giggled a couple times but I didn't ask for her number since we'd only chatted for about a minute and I knew I'd see her again.
So over the following weeks, I've talked to her in class since we sit near each other. Just some small talk before class starts or when it's over. Sometimes we're headed the same direction and we talk more then. Early on, she was kind of reserved/nervous which made me nervous since I'm new to this but I'd try to keep my cool. A couple weeks ago, I asked for her number after we walked for a bit after class. She started to think what it was but said she didn't know it yet. I believed it, she'd only been in the country for 3 weeks at that point. No biggie. So I gave her mine and said I could show her around after the storm that was coming passed. I'm from the area, she mentioned not liking the area so much since there was nothing to do. She didn't text me though, which I didn't expect since like I said... to this point she's been reserved.
So I continued to just talk to her in class, trying to build some rapport. Here and there I would mention "We could do this or that". Which, in hindsight, was ineffective and I should've been more direct because she would say 'Yeah, maybe' in an unsure way. I say all of this to give a history of our interactions and for my own reference. Obviously I'm not interested as her as a friend, but as a romantic interest. So I'm looking to you guys for advice on how to proceed.
Recently, all of that has changed. We studied for a test we have coming up and some potentially interesting developments occurred. She kept feeling her abs and I asked what she was doing. She went to the gym recently and told me how she just went to the classes because she doesn't know what she's doing. She told me I could feel her abs. I poked them, made some stupid comment like 'Oh wow'. Then I said she should come to the gym with me, I could show her some things. The rest of the time we were studying, I joked with her and was just myself. She seemed to enjoy it, laughing and stuff. But she also casually threw in the conversation that she missed her boyfriend back home (in another country).
She came to the gym the next day and I showed her how to deadlift. I touched the areas on her lower back when I was explaining how to do it. I also showed her some tricks on gymnastic rings and placed my hands on her hips and behind the knee when I was spotting her. I wasn't being overly touchy, just taking advantage of opportunities for kino (correct usage?) and she didn't have a problem with it. Cool. Later that day she and I studied with a friend who's also in the class. She found a lot of the things I was saying extremely funny. Gasping for air hilarious.
Today, we studied one last time before the test. When I walked in I noticed her lipstick on her coffee. I said "Are you ready to do this? I see you've got your coffee... lipstick stains and everything." She giggled and said yes or something. I told her I liked her lipstick, looking at her lips as I said it and asked what color she would describe it as. She said nude. I asked "Oh, so you like nude, huh?" in a sly way. She responded, "Who doesn't? Everybody likes nude." and smiled. Sometime later we were laughing and I put my hand on her thigh for a second. She seemed cool with it. When we looked at each other's papers, we would lean closely to each other. Knees touching. Arms brushing. She started touching her abs again and so I started to tease her about her arm muscles. I touched her bicep and said "Daaaaaaang" and she lost it. One time she asked me to feel her arm so I did and then she touched mine. As I reflect on what happened today, I think I made two mistakes - the same one twice. I said maybe we should go to the football game this weekend and she responded 'Yeah maybe, I need to read the rules'. Not a bad response, just not actionable. Then later we were talking about cooking and I said maybe I'll make it (smoked beef brisket) and you can try it. Again, a weak ask met with another 'yeah, maybe'.
So, that's a lot and I'm hoping you lot can offer some advice as to how to proceed. I can see that my asking her to hang out is very weak, and I will change that. I think it's the fact that I'm new to this and the boyfriend factor is throwing me off even more. But she seems to be kind of interested.. how can I proceed? I just want to figure out where she is and quickly before I friendzone myself.
Thanks for reading.
But bump all dat. Listen:
There's this girl in my class, she's an international student. And I met her maybe the second week of school and had some casual conversation about the class and parted ways. Conversation was fine, she giggled a couple times but I didn't ask for her number since we'd only chatted for about a minute and I knew I'd see her again.
So over the following weeks, I've talked to her in class since we sit near each other. Just some small talk before class starts or when it's over. Sometimes we're headed the same direction and we talk more then. Early on, she was kind of reserved/nervous which made me nervous since I'm new to this but I'd try to keep my cool. A couple weeks ago, I asked for her number after we walked for a bit after class. She started to think what it was but said she didn't know it yet. I believed it, she'd only been in the country for 3 weeks at that point. No biggie. So I gave her mine and said I could show her around after the storm that was coming passed. I'm from the area, she mentioned not liking the area so much since there was nothing to do. She didn't text me though, which I didn't expect since like I said... to this point she's been reserved.
So I continued to just talk to her in class, trying to build some rapport. Here and there I would mention "We could do this or that". Which, in hindsight, was ineffective and I should've been more direct because she would say 'Yeah, maybe' in an unsure way. I say all of this to give a history of our interactions and for my own reference. Obviously I'm not interested as her as a friend, but as a romantic interest. So I'm looking to you guys for advice on how to proceed.
Recently, all of that has changed. We studied for a test we have coming up and some potentially interesting developments occurred. She kept feeling her abs and I asked what she was doing. She went to the gym recently and told me how she just went to the classes because she doesn't know what she's doing. She told me I could feel her abs. I poked them, made some stupid comment like 'Oh wow'. Then I said she should come to the gym with me, I could show her some things. The rest of the time we were studying, I joked with her and was just myself. She seemed to enjoy it, laughing and stuff. But she also casually threw in the conversation that she missed her boyfriend back home (in another country).
She came to the gym the next day and I showed her how to deadlift. I touched the areas on her lower back when I was explaining how to do it. I also showed her some tricks on gymnastic rings and placed my hands on her hips and behind the knee when I was spotting her. I wasn't being overly touchy, just taking advantage of opportunities for kino (correct usage?) and she didn't have a problem with it. Cool. Later that day she and I studied with a friend who's also in the class. She found a lot of the things I was saying extremely funny. Gasping for air hilarious.
Today, we studied one last time before the test. When I walked in I noticed her lipstick on her coffee. I said "Are you ready to do this? I see you've got your coffee... lipstick stains and everything." She giggled and said yes or something. I told her I liked her lipstick, looking at her lips as I said it and asked what color she would describe it as. She said nude. I asked "Oh, so you like nude, huh?" in a sly way. She responded, "Who doesn't? Everybody likes nude." and smiled. Sometime later we were laughing and I put my hand on her thigh for a second. She seemed cool with it. When we looked at each other's papers, we would lean closely to each other. Knees touching. Arms brushing. She started touching her abs again and so I started to tease her about her arm muscles. I touched her bicep and said "Daaaaaaang" and she lost it. One time she asked me to feel her arm so I did and then she touched mine. As I reflect on what happened today, I think I made two mistakes - the same one twice. I said maybe we should go to the football game this weekend and she responded 'Yeah maybe, I need to read the rules'. Not a bad response, just not actionable. Then later we were talking about cooking and I said maybe I'll make it (smoked beef brisket) and you can try it. Again, a weak ask met with another 'yeah, maybe'.
So, that's a lot and I'm hoping you lot can offer some advice as to how to proceed. I can see that my asking her to hang out is very weak, and I will change that. I think it's the fact that I'm new to this and the boyfriend factor is throwing me off even more. But she seems to be kind of interested.. how can I proceed? I just want to figure out where she is and quickly before I friendzone myself.
Thanks for reading.
