"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Thoughts/Interpretations of what just happened

B

bankai

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1 year ago:

- Bad break up with ex , I didn't communicate with her and ignored her attempts to connect with me. I moved on.

the last 3 weeks:

- she chased me , got together and had sex.

-She tells me she has a bf and doesn't want to break up, I tell her I don't want her to break up either. After sex she says "don't think we'll be doing this every time we hang out". She says she likes the way we've been communicating and doesn't want me to disappear and stop communicating with her.

- A couple of days later I ask her if she wants to hang out. She gives me a bs answer that feels like no.


I'm confused with what just happened
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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A

AlexDP

Senior Don Juan
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Ego boost. She's a cheating ***** by the way. What a nice person to know.
 
J

jafyk

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This is just me guessing but it seems to me she might 1) have planned this out all along 2) something happened during your communication...so, let's go with #1. It could be a situation where her ego was hurt because you had been playing hard to get and when she finally caught she decided she'd get you back by making you think you've gotten her through sex and now that you want it again (now that she thinks she's got you hooked with the sex) she now uses her power to withdraw the sex from you, thereby getting her revenge. Going with situation #2 it could be that through your communication with her you've fallen into the LJBF zone. She knowing that you might try to have sex with her when you hangout is preventing any chance of that happening. The 3rd scenario could be that she used you to get back at her boyfriend (maybe they had a fight) and now that things have gone back to normal she doesn't want the sex thing between you guys to continue. She could also possibly be going back and forth with you both depending on what's going on.
The question for you is what were you expecting out of all this? If it's just a no strings attached sex relationship then it doesn't really matter why she's acting the way she's acting what you need to do is control your own desire (pull back) and let her come to you. Then generally do all those things you've been advised to do on this site. Things that increase interest level and attraction.
 
B

bankai

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thanks for the responses.

So i felt myself going afc, decided I needed to regain control and pulled back, this involved me stopping communication for the day.

Interesting results I got a few different texts that went from happy "good morning!" to jokingly angry "fine! be that way and don't reply me!" to concern "where r u?...."

Any suggestions of what I may do next?
 
C

CantTouchMyStyle

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bankai said:
thanks for the responses.

So i felt myself going afc, decided I needed to regain control and pulled back, this involved me stopping communication for the day.

Interesting results I got a few different texts that went from happy "good morning!" to jokingly angry "fine! be that way and don't reply me!" to concern "where r u?...."

Any suggestions of what I may do next?
Click to expand...
Yeah, change your number.

OR

Tell her to go fvck herself & that chump she is "dating"
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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M

mahoney

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she doesn't know what she wants - its fairly common in people

when you don't have something it seems better than it is
when you have something it turns out not to be so glittery after all

i had this when applying for jobs recently, one job seemed so good and there was such a long wait to hear back that i focussed mainly on the positives about it and really wanted it. i got offered another job almost immediately in the meantime but stalled on accepting because i wanted to hear back on the first one - because i knew i had it i focussed more on the negatives about it
 
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