Chelsea called me last sat. She grovelled for 30 min. Then her mom asked who she was on the phone with, she said me, and her mom got on the other line and started askin me all sorts of 'mom' questions - where im goin to school, how did I like the campus, blablabla. She hangs up and chelsea and I start talking. It was really nice, I cant lie. Then she just blirts out stuff about us - why she did what she did. In essance, she said that because I was so perfect, I made her feel unconfident and bad about herself, and she got scared. She was confused so she ran away from me. We laugh about how stubborn we are, and shoot the **** some more. After two hours on the phone I say goodnight. I call her back today and invite her out... then:
AJGOI: I go out to dinner with chelsea. she looks good. We have an AMAZING time at dinner. We go to coffee. I get a weird vibe. For no reason I just tell her im going outside. Walk to the car, wati for her for 5 min, she doesnt come, so I leave
Pizzapawz: ahh!
Pizzapawz: why do you leave
Pizzapawz: leave her there?
AJGOI: well
AJGOI: because I never really had a chance to be angry at her
AJGOI: when she vanished
AJGOI: ... so I got angry then, it just caught up with us a few hours late?
AJGOI: so, anyways
AJGOI: I drive on my way home, but realize im lost, and end up pretty close to the starbucks like 15 min after I had originally wakled out
AJGOI: so I go back inside, shes still there, but talking to friends
AJGOI: I pick her up by the arm, and drag her outside
AJGOI: "Jesus dont kill her!" her friends say... I just say "Im not gonna kill her, just yell @ her some"
AJGOI: I drag her to the car, and I sit and talk to her for a min
AJGOI: shes askin whats wrong
AJGOI: and I just plainly ask her "do you even care if this works?"
AJGOI: "yeah I care!"
AJGOI: and I just exploded
AJGOI: "ThEN ****ING ACT LIKE IT"
AJGOI: and I just yell at her for like 20 minutes straight
AJGOI: at the top o fmy lungs (which is REALLY ****ing loud)
Pizzapawz: ya i can imagine
AJGOI: stuff like
AJGOI: "FOR CHRISTS SAKE YOURE SUCH A STUBBORN *****! AND YOURE TOO ****ING SHORT"
AJGOI: for literally, 20 min
AJGOI: she doesnt yell back
Pizzapawz: o man..
AJGOI: she just calmly talks to me about what im yelling about
AJGOI: I get even angrier and start driving her home
Pizzapawz: vicsous cycle
AJGOI: and Im yelling
AJGOI: and finally
AJGOI: at a red light
AJGOI: she just starts yelling
AJGOI: were screaming at eachother
AJGOI: and I stop
AJGOI: and I actually hear what shes yelling about
AJGOI: "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MOVE AWAY!?!?!"
AJGOI: "wait. what?"
Pizzapawz: lol?
Pizzapawz: move?
AJGOI: "I dont want to just fall for you and be with you for four months so I can wave goodbye at the airport let you fly away to boston"
AJGOI: (im going to school in boston)
Pizzapawz: o word
AJGOI: so I just stop the car
AJGOI: put it in park
AJGOI: in the middle of the road, mind you
AJGOI: "is that what this is about?"
AJGOI: "honey I dont want to get hurt like that! Maybe I deserve it, but I just cant do that to myself"
AJGOI: so i finish driving her home, and were both just kinda raising our voices, but not at each other
AJGOI: smiling and yellin ****
Pizzapawz: ok...lol
AJGOI: I get to her house
AJGOI: and shes like "I just dont know what to do... I need to think about it-"
AJGOI: and I just kissed her
AJGOI: and she kissed back
AJGOI: and then we stopped for a minute. And i kissed her again, and she slipped tongue. but then pushed me away and ran into her house
AJGOI: so I backed out of her driveway, and was abou tto drive away, I called her
AJGOI: "Dont make me drive away, not yet"
AJGOI: she hangs up. So I just throw it in gear
AJGOI: then I see her door open, and she comes outside in a coat, so I pull back in her driveway
AJGOI: she gets in the car
AJGOI: "WHAT?"
AJGOI: "Dont fake an attitude - youve wanted kiss me. We both know it"
AJGOI: and she went to say something and I cut her off
AJGOI: "chelsea I gave you a lot in the months we were together. More than I given anyone, ever before. And did I ask for anything?"
AJGOI: after a min she responds "no"
AJGOI: "I want something"
AJGOI: "what?"
AJGOI: "when you get out of my car tonight I dont want you to think about forever, or four months from now. I want you to think about tomorrow. will you do that for me?"
AJGOI: "ill try"
AJGOI: "no, dont ****ing try. Promise youll do it"
AJGOI: ...
AJGOI: "I promise"
AJGOI: "thank you... now, if you dont get out of my car in 5 seconds im going to kiss you again"
AJGOI: "please dont my parents are watching!!!"
AJGOI: I count to 5onethousand in my head
AJGOI: she doesnt budge
AJGOI: so I lean in, she turns away, I kiss her neck and then her lips and say goodnight
AJGOI: I drive away... and... do you know that feeling - when somethings on the tip of your tongue but it just wont come out? I had that for a long time with her... and after we yelled... it was gone
Pizzapawz: hmm
Pizzapawz: yea
Pizzapawz: i dig
AJGOI: and after we REALLY kissed... Ive made my peace. Fianlly things are the way they should have been all along
I think shes fallen in love with me and is scared to death. Shes a REALLY good kisser and her body just REACTED to my touch. I made it clear to her, while yelling, that I dont want to see her exclusively and I dont want to tie her down. I just want to be with her. what do you guys think?