"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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This Smells Like My Vagina

taiyuu_otoko

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The end has got to be near...


Gwyneth Paltrow is either insane, or a marketing genius. We're going to guess the latter.
Why? Because she is selling a candle through her online "Goop" store for $75 and it's already sold out. We're not sure what the margins run on $75 candles, but they've got to be pretty good.
So what's the hook that's bringing people in? The name of the candle is "This Smells Like My Vagina".
Yes, for just $75, perverts around the world can fool themselves into thinking they are living in the nether regions of the famous 47 year old actress by shelling out for and burning the candle, which according to Fox News actually is made up of geranium, citrusy bergamot and cedar smells.

 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Who Dares Win

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I wonder why such ideas never come to young actresses in their prime.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Atom Smasher

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She’s a perfect example of what makeup and clothing do yo make a plain girl attractive to us. Believe me, she was pretty plain when I knew her, nothing special, maybe a 5.5 or 6. But she had that underlying good “base” for makeup that would turn her maybe into an 8 or so. But in the natural, very plain and nothing to write home about.

This serves to remind me that we men are often attracted more to the illusion that makeup provides, than the actual raw material.
 

Alvafe

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She’s a perfect example of what makeup and clothing do yo make a plain girl attractive to us. Believe me, she was pretty plain when I knew her, nothing special, maybe a 5.5 or 6. But she had that underlying good “base” for makeup that would turn her maybe into an 8 or so. But in the natural, very plain and nothing to write home about.

This serves to remind me that we men are often attracted more to the illusion that makeup provides, than the actual raw material.
should be used to it by now, everytime you go out with a girl drop 2 points for her looks.

remember 95% of a woman looks wash off on water
 

zekko

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Believe me, she was pretty plain when I knew her, nothing special, maybe a 5.5 or 6.
You know a lot of famous people.
Anyway, it's not that difficult for women to look good. If they stay thin, have straight teeth, and long hair, a lot of guys will find them attractive.

I remember in the first Avengers movie, she's in Stark Tower and walks across the floor in short shorts and bare feet, and there were wolf whistles from several guys in the crowd.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Atom Smasher

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You know a lot of famous people.
Anyway, it's not that difficult for women to look good. If they stay thin, have straight teeth, and long hair, a lot of guys will find them attractive.

I remember in the first Avengers movie, she's in Stark Tower and walks across the floor in short shorts and bare feet, and there were wolf whistles from several guys in the crowd.
Yup. Back in my fishing days she was just a semi attractive teenager. All it takes is some paint on the face and some form-fitting clothing to boost a woman two to three points.
 

zekko

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Back in my fishing days she was just a semi attractive teenager.
Well, when you get to be our age, a semi attractive teenager (legal age, of course!) can look pretty good.
I've never considered her smoking hot or anything, but at least she's stayed in shape.
Of course, she about has to in her profession.
 

Shrubber101

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I want it to be known that I am officially launching my own brand of Camobert cheese called "This smells like my bellend".
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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mrgoodstuff

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I rush to dump the trash if a can of sardines has been in it more than a day.
 
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