Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
This site needs a massive overhaul, now
- Thread starter frivolousz21
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Based on my experiences, men and women desire sex for two reasons. One is for the validation that is brought by another person finding you sexually desireable and the implicit value that their intimacy gives you. The second reason is more simply the physical and mental pleasure derived from the act itself.
Women tend to place more importance on the validation aspect, which is why they are more picky about their sexual partners. They want to feel the elevation in self-worth associated with a valuable man finding them irresistable, and this is why they will orgasm more readily when they are praised sexually by the man. Women widely report to enjoy an encounter more when a man 'loses control' with his desire for her, and forcefully takes her, ripping off her clothes and telling her just how desireable he finds her.
Men, on the other hand, will pursue sex for no other reason than they have baby batter on the brain. They seek the validation as well, but that is in addition to the pleasure. Any man loves having a stunning women absolutely desperate for his lovin', but it's not necessary for him to have a good time. Men are more open to meaningless sexual encounters, as there is a much lower risk associated with sex for a man. Men are even less likely to contract diseases, not to mention pregnancy. So it makes sense that men would place fewer requirements on what they want from a girl before they will have sex with her.
Thus it has traditionally been a woman's role to withold sex, and a man's role to pursue it. The sexual liberation of women and the desire to make all things equal is made in denial of a simple truth of nature which is that there are two genders for a reason, inherently different and hence the expectations should be different as well. The often bereated 'double-standard' in fact should exist, when you look at the logic behind it. I'm sorry, a girl who gives it up too easy is a slut, and in fact she's fvcking up the balance. As a man, I was not raised to deny sex from an attractive and willing woman, nore is it in my nature to do so. That is her place! I know it sounds sexist, but how are we supposed to ignore the difference between genders when we look at another person and know within milliseconds if they are male or female. Genders are not social constructs, they are physical differences we are born with.
Women tend to place more importance on the validation aspect, which is why they are more picky about their sexual partners. They want to feel the elevation in self-worth associated with a valuable man finding them irresistable, and this is why they will orgasm more readily when they are praised sexually by the man. Women widely report to enjoy an encounter more when a man 'loses control' with his desire for her, and forcefully takes her, ripping off her clothes and telling her just how desireable he finds her.
Men, on the other hand, will pursue sex for no other reason than they have baby batter on the brain. They seek the validation as well, but that is in addition to the pleasure. Any man loves having a stunning women absolutely desperate for his lovin', but it's not necessary for him to have a good time. Men are more open to meaningless sexual encounters, as there is a much lower risk associated with sex for a man. Men are even less likely to contract diseases, not to mention pregnancy. So it makes sense that men would place fewer requirements on what they want from a girl before they will have sex with her.
Thus it has traditionally been a woman's role to withold sex, and a man's role to pursue it. The sexual liberation of women and the desire to make all things equal is made in denial of a simple truth of nature which is that there are two genders for a reason, inherently different and hence the expectations should be different as well. The often bereated 'double-standard' in fact should exist, when you look at the logic behind it. I'm sorry, a girl who gives it up too easy is a slut, and in fact she's fvcking up the balance. As a man, I was not raised to deny sex from an attractive and willing woman, nore is it in my nature to do so. That is her place! I know it sounds sexist, but how are we supposed to ignore the difference between genders when we look at another person and know within milliseconds if they are male or female. Genders are not social constructs, they are physical differences we are born with.
The leading cause of relationship issues and the downfall of many marriages is when sex is used as Commodity.
What purpose does it serve to say that women have lower or higher sex drives?
The only thing we can say is that sex is part of our existence. It leads to conception and the beginning of life.
I would argue against the notion that sex rules human life. I think that when a person becomes subject to their desires they start to lack self control and confidence. A persons sexual nature does not define who they are. We are much more then simply hormonal responses.
Sexual desires can cause many men to become AFCs. AFCism is a direct result of allowing your sexual desires to take control of you.
Many times I have seen posts on here that strongly encourage men NOT to jerk off. This couldn't be more true. Most AFCs pull on their monkey everyday. The first advice an AFC should get on this forum is "STOP JACKIN!"
Without self control a man will lack confidence. Without confidence in his own abilities he will be too weak to deal with women.
Perhaps you feel great after having sex and perhaps you end up with a bit of fleeting confidence, but that won't last
If a man can't control his own body then how can he expect to deal with a woman and her problems?
Wisdom tells us all that when you are in control of your own body your spirit will grow. Thati s a source of a mans power his inner strength not his hormones.
You might very well be able to seed a woman, but you won't be able to play upon her without inner strength.
The truth is a woman is no good to you if she is focused on her own desires (sexual or not). The same is true for men.
And by that definition even the self-styled 'Don Juan's and 'PUA's of this website and ones like it are every bit as AFC as any guy out there. They sacrifice their time, their identities and their beliefs for sex. Many guys will go so far as to demonize and objectify women because in a bitter irony that attitude helps many guys get laid more - but the primary motivation is sex. Just look at how many guys here completely shun an actual connection with a girl beyond sex by labelling it "one-itis" and instead pursue having a harem of sex partners in which every women is expendable and they say that they are liberated from women using sex as a means of exerting power. That's like saying because you have five different incomes, you are no longer ruled by money. All you've done is make any one source unimportant by having others, but you'd be no less dependant if the option were removed completely.
The sad thing is that only after you "get a leg up" can you even begin to realize the root cause of your problems with women.
A real man does not need sex to validate himself. If you do then you are a pathetic loser.
The problem is that we live in a culture of desire that creates a lot of confusion.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2004
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- 1,352
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- 8
Uhm,Brother Rapp just detailed a macking technique by mistake.
Lol.
You withould sex and intimacy and make her give YOU money & gifts to fawk.
But that's another subject..lol.
From my expereince women have volatile sexual appetites.
They go through there phases where they can't be satisifed to wanting it on the regular to being damn near frigid.
I think alot of women have psyhcological issues and really do hate men.
Thus they see it as a chore having sex with men even though they want to do it,they'll see it as some sort of divine punsihment and turn bitter.So they can't enjoy it.
I'd say there's no comparison though to us.Men will fawk all day everday if they could. Men will pay for it,drive miles for it,jack off to the porn,etc..things women usually don't do
I think compared to us most of them have average to low sex drives.Alot don't like sex at all,very few want it like & enjoy it--more importantly --like we do.
Lol.
You withould sex and intimacy and make her give YOU money & gifts to fawk.
But that's another subject..lol.
From my expereince women have volatile sexual appetites.
They go through there phases where they can't be satisifed to wanting it on the regular to being damn near frigid.
I think alot of women have psyhcological issues and really do hate men.
Thus they see it as a chore having sex with men even though they want to do it,they'll see it as some sort of divine punsihment and turn bitter.So they can't enjoy it.
I'd say there's no comparison though to us.Men will fawk all day everday if they could. Men will pay for it,drive miles for it,jack off to the porn,etc..things women usually don't do
I think compared to us most of them have average to low sex drives.Alot don't like sex at all,very few want it like & enjoy it--more importantly --like we do.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
I'd say there's no comparison though to us.Men will fawk all day everday if they could. Men will pay for it,drive miles for it,jack off to the porn,etc..things women usually don't do
I think compared to us most of them have average to low sex drives.Alot don't like sex at all,very few want it like & enjoy it--more importantly --like we do.
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you are 100 percent correct.
that is the only thing I was trying to get accross
I think compared to us most of them have average to low sex drives.Alot don't like sex at all,very few want it like & enjoy it--more importantly --like we do.
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you are 100 percent correct.
that is the only thing I was trying to get accross
I'm actually very aware of the power that witholding intimacy has - which is why I have to disagree with you about women disliking sex or wanting it less.
I think it's an illusion that seems true because women simply have greater access to sex. I have yet to meet a decently attractive girl who couldn't get it if she really wanted it, but once again I think you'd see a different side of the story if ever you met a girl who absolutely could not get laid.
mroriginal2
Don Juan
Women dont have sex with just anyone because they dont want to be labeled a slut, wh*re, tramp. think about it.
They are very horny inside.
its easy for men because it is a game for us. Being called a pimp, player, don juan, pua is a compliment to us.
being called pervert does not have the same affect to us as being called a slut to women.
Women are horny look at pornstars, strippers, prostitutes. tell me if the media didnt label these women as *****s, 90% of women would be pornstars by now
what ever happens in vegas stays in vegas.
Closet freak orgies, threesomes they are more sexually open to other women too.
They are very horny inside.
its easy for men because it is a game for us. Being called a pimp, player, don juan, pua is a compliment to us.
being called pervert does not have the same affect to us as being called a slut to women.
Women are horny look at pornstars, strippers, prostitutes. tell me if the media didnt label these women as *****s, 90% of women would be pornstars by now
what ever happens in vegas stays in vegas.
Closet freak orgies, threesomes they are more sexually open to other women too.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
Women dont have sex with just anyone because they dont want to be labeled a slut, *****, tramp. think about it.
They are very horny inside.
its easy for men because it is a game for us. Being called a pimp, player, don juan, pua is a compliment to us.
being called pervert does not have the same affest to us as being called a slut to women.
Women are horny look at pornstars, strippers, prostitutes. tell me if the media didnt label these women as *****s, 90% of women would be pornstars by now
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show me scientific proof that women are as horny, want sex and would fyck just as much if not more then men.
prove it.
They are very horny inside.
its easy for men because it is a game for us. Being called a pimp, player, don juan, pua is a compliment to us.
being called pervert does not have the same affest to us as being called a slut to women.
Women are horny look at pornstars, strippers, prostitutes. tell me if the media didnt label these women as *****s, 90% of women would be pornstars by now
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
show me scientific proof that women are as horny, want sex and would fyck just as much if not more then men.
prove it.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Show me specific scnientifically endorsed evidence that women are not horny, do not want sex and would not **** as much if at all as men.
Prove it.
Any theory is valid until disproven, and I have not seen where you've done that
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
Show me specific scnientifically endorsed evidence that women are not horny, do not want sex and would not **** as much if at all as men.
Prove it.
Any theory is valid until disproven, and I have not seen where you've done that
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there are 3 sex hormones or 3 major sex hormones
1. the most powerful of them all TESTOSTERONE-which you have a lot of....and women have hardly any.
2. estrogen-which women have alot of..and u have hardly any..and it much much much less Physiology dependent.
which means it doenst effect a human beings mental state near as much as Testosterone affects a males brain
3. pestrogene- again in women.
this is more of a pregnanacy hormone which women aquire lots of it when pregnant.
probably why my Fiance is more horny now then she was before.
Please go do a search on these.
Prove it.
Any theory is valid until disproven, and I have not seen where you've done that
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there are 3 sex hormones or 3 major sex hormones
1. the most powerful of them all TESTOSTERONE-which you have a lot of....and women have hardly any.
2. estrogen-which women have alot of..and u have hardly any..and it much much much less Physiology dependent.
which means it doenst effect a human beings mental state near as much as Testosterone affects a males brain
3. pestrogene- again in women.
this is more of a pregnanacy hormone which women aquire lots of it when pregnant.
probably why my Fiance is more horny now then she was before.
Please go do a search on these.
DJ_in_making
Master Don Juan
belividere
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2005
- Messages
- 956
- Reaction score
- 5
- Age
- 47
dude show me scientific proof of what the fvck pestrogene is.
Your knowledge of biochemistry is as lacking as your knowledge of women.
Your knowledge of biochemistry is as lacking as your knowledge of women.
mroriginal2
Don Juan
I dont have proof I dont need proof.
Women also have sex toys, dildos, vibrators , their fingers,. Men have women and our right hand.
they dont grow boners so they can feel aroused in the classroom and noone will know lol! maybe
a women can get used to her vibrator.
porn does turn women on.
women are not afraid to go and make out with another women even if she is a straight women.
women are afraid of rape, perverts , lunatics. they like to feel safe which is why they are more picky when it comes to the oposite sex
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
frivolousz21
Master Don Juan
ok I quit...Im sure you know it all....
facts mean nothing anymore....
your right testosterone means nothing.
why do we even need it...we can get rid of it so we can grow tits....since its useless.
facts mean nothing anymore....
your right testosterone means nothing.
why do we even need it...we can get rid of it so we can grow tits....since its useless.
mroriginal2
Don Juan
HOORAH!!! GOOD NEVER PREVAILS OVER EVIL!!! MUAHAHAHAH!!!
Wheres my nobel prize
Wheres my nobel prize
B-Lemond
Master Don Juan
This is completely WRONG.
Women DO want sex just as much as guys.
It's just that they have control.
They are not going to bang every single guy just to have sex. This would be against they social upbringings.
Frivolous mentioned that they want affection/love, which is true, BUT by having sex with someone they care about, they reach a better state of love.
WOMEN WANT SEX JUST AS BAD BUT THEY HAVE CONTROL!
Women want sex (even the ones that don't masturbate, they still want SEX). However, they won't give it up as easily. They are waiting for the "real deal".
If you had the chance to bang an overweight girl that you were not at all attracted to, WOULD YOU?
Of course NOT! Just because you didn't sleep with her, doesn't mean you DON'T LIKE SEX.
It means you have control.
Same thing with women, they have CONTROL!
Women DO want sex just as much as guys.
It's just that they have control.
They are not going to bang every single guy just to have sex. This would be against they social upbringings.
Frivolous mentioned that they want affection/love, which is true, BUT by having sex with someone they care about, they reach a better state of love.
WOMEN WANT SEX JUST AS BAD BUT THEY HAVE CONTROL!
Women want sex (even the ones that don't masturbate, they still want SEX). However, they won't give it up as easily. They are waiting for the "real deal".
If you had the chance to bang an overweight girl that you were not at all attracted to, WOULD YOU?
Of course NOT! Just because you didn't sleep with her, doesn't mean you DON'T LIKE SEX.
It means you have control.
Same thing with women, they have CONTROL!
Here's a fact for you - women and men are fundamentally different in terms of sex.
Now on to my own conclusions wrought from all that I have read, seen and lived.
Women are not aroused visually as much as men. Where as the male sex drive is led primarly through visual stimulation, a man does not have an expectation for sex to be emotionally fullfilling. Arousing images are sufficient to stimulate him sexually and cause him to desire sex.
Women, on the other hand, are not typically responsive to visual stimulus in relation to sex. They respond much more readily through a complex emotional response where she is much more aroused when she first forms a bond with the man. Where physical arousal - i.e. an erection - is enough to cause a man to desire sex, the same is not true about women. This is why, despite having the same physiological effect in females, the drug Viagra did not induce a desire for sex in women the same way as it does in men.
Simply put, women and men have different sexual triggers. We are visually aroused, and excited at the prospect of sex in itself where women see sex as a way to enhance and validate a percieved emotional bond. In other words, men will pursue sex for the sake of sex while women pursue the intimacy associated with speak.
This is, however, a very simplistic and over-broad generalized view of the role sex and arousal has on our sex drives. Men still desire the intimacy and emotional connection to some degree, as women desire the physical pleasure. Hence there are men who will report enhanced pleasure from sex in a committed relationship, and women who will masturbate. The difference is not black and white. More accurately, the differences in preference are influenced heavily by gender.
The real difference, to my way of thinking, is that women desire sex as much as men provided that they have an emotional bond with their sexual partner, where as men have no such requirement for the bond to exist. We percieve this as women wanting sex less because what we are experiencing is that we desire to have sex with virtually any woman we find attractive, even when there is no connection between us and these women so they do not desire to have sex with us to the same degree. Hence, we work to make women feel that connection so that they will want to sleep with us when we want to sleep with them the whole while.
Friv don't tuck tail and run when your opinion encounters a bit of healthy debate. You made a grand claim, stated it as an undeniable declaration and accuse us of all ignoring 'facts' when we do not blindly agree. Have some balls and back up your argument without expecting everyone else to see it simply and black/white as you do.
Now on to my own conclusions wrought from all that I have read, seen and lived.
Women are not aroused visually as much as men. Where as the male sex drive is led primarly through visual stimulation, a man does not have an expectation for sex to be emotionally fullfilling. Arousing images are sufficient to stimulate him sexually and cause him to desire sex.
Women, on the other hand, are not typically responsive to visual stimulus in relation to sex. They respond much more readily through a complex emotional response where she is much more aroused when she first forms a bond with the man. Where physical arousal - i.e. an erection - is enough to cause a man to desire sex, the same is not true about women. This is why, despite having the same physiological effect in females, the drug Viagra did not induce a desire for sex in women the same way as it does in men.
Simply put, women and men have different sexual triggers. We are visually aroused, and excited at the prospect of sex in itself where women see sex as a way to enhance and validate a percieved emotional bond. In other words, men will pursue sex for the sake of sex while women pursue the intimacy associated with speak.
This is, however, a very simplistic and over-broad generalized view of the role sex and arousal has on our sex drives. Men still desire the intimacy and emotional connection to some degree, as women desire the physical pleasure. Hence there are men who will report enhanced pleasure from sex in a committed relationship, and women who will masturbate. The difference is not black and white. More accurately, the differences in preference are influenced heavily by gender.
The real difference, to my way of thinking, is that women desire sex as much as men provided that they have an emotional bond with their sexual partner, where as men have no such requirement for the bond to exist. We percieve this as women wanting sex less because what we are experiencing is that we desire to have sex with virtually any woman we find attractive, even when there is no connection between us and these women so they do not desire to have sex with us to the same degree. Hence, we work to make women feel that connection so that they will want to sleep with us when we want to sleep with them the whole while.
Friv don't tuck tail and run when your opinion encounters a bit of healthy debate. You made a grand claim, stated it as an undeniable declaration and accuse us of all ignoring 'facts' when we do not blindly agree. Have some balls and back up your argument without expecting everyone else to see it simply and black/white as you do.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.