This short video is the reason I'll never do cold approaching

[MrWood]

@LYD "I get alot of "mutual smiles" and "hi/hello" from women (always from them first) when walking in the city/mall etc (but have never pulled a "excuse me" on one and go for instadate...)"

What is a woman feeling/expressing/saying with this type of attention?

I get this attention when Iam with other guys too (and walking with women but not as often), and my guys often comment on it (dude she totally smiled at you)
my friends are, to me, clearly more handsome, sharper dressers and younger (30's).

confused

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

You can make money with the truth too. Just sayin'.

Generally speaking, no.

Few people (if any) want to hear the truth. But I will admit a lot of "Red Pill" is sold as "truth" when it's really just ego-protecting sour grapes.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Oh I see we talk again about "confidence" as if it is some magic spell that overcome physics.

So we get nature, demand and offer law, mainstream culture and so on simply overcome from "confidence", dont get me wrong Im not saying cold approaches dont work, Im saying that the work/benefits ratio is gonna be low if you're good looking and non existant if you're average or less than average, especially since in few seconds you cant build rapport or show your status.

Also dont forget that nowadays phone numbers are a benchmark of interested as much as a handshake was in the 90s.

Before someone bash me, I've been cold approaching from years in any possible place from the post offices to clubs, even couples or group of girls and I still do it.

Needless to say that a calibrated social circle game or attempts in place where personality and techinique matter more, the succes has been uncomparably higher.

 

[MrWiggles]

Oh I see we talk again about "confidence" as if it is some magic spell that overcome physics.

So we get nature, demand and offer law, mainstream culture and so on simply overcome from "confidence", dont get me wrong Im not saying cold approaches dont work, Im saying that the work/benefits ratio is gonna be low if you're good looking and non existant if you're average or less than average, especially since in few seconds you cant build rapport or show your status.

Also dont forget that nowadays phone numbers are a benchmark of interested as much as a handshake was in the 90s.

Before someone bash me, I've been cold approaching from years in any possible place from the post offices to clubs, even couples or group of girls and I still do it.

Needless to say that a calibrated social circle game or attempts in place where personality and techinique matter more, the succes has been uncomparably higher.

Cold approaching can help build bigger social circles as well so there really is more to it than "an act of desperation" like the OP was droning on about.

 

[RangerMIke]

Social circles are easy... they are also the most messy.

Cold approach is better, you have to work harder and success rates are low, but it is MUCH easier after a break and easier to date multiple women if they do not know each other.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Cold approaching can help build bigger social circles as well so there really is more to it than "an act of desperation" like the OP was droning on about.

Out of the last 100 cold approaches you've done, how many lead to sex or to new social opportunities?

In my case a 10% ratio, probably less.

I believe its not the action itself that has to be judged but that action in the local environment and culture, what was a sign of bravery 20 yrs ago its now a sign or creepyness when done for most of the men in most of the environments.

But again it depends who you are even before than how you do it, a bold approach and a creepy one are mostly differentiated from a hair line and a symmetric face more than the rest.

 

[Atom Smasher]

In my view, effective "cold approaching" is simply being friendly, relaxed, and sharing your masculinity with the world around you. No techniques are needed. A high percentage of women will show interest. Once interest is shown, you escalate. You've already been invited to escalate by her smile.

 

[MrWiggles]

Out of the last 100 cold approaches you've done, how many lead to sex or to new social opportunities?

In my case a 10% ratio, probably less.

I believe its not the action itself that has to be judged but that action in the local environment and culture, what was a sign of bravery 20 yrs ago its now a sign or creepyness when done for most of the men in most of the environments.

But again it depends who you are even before than how you do it, a bold approach and a creepy one are mostly differentiated from a hair line and a symmetric face more than the rest.

to answer your question, I have been shot down way more times than I have been successful BUT Ive said this before somewhere else on this board but just because you cold approach and you think your game is on point doesnt mean youll be successful anyway. Not every girl is going to like you but the point is this... why limit yourself to only social circle game because you arent as successful with cold approaching? Sounds like ego protection to me and thats closed minded. There will be plenty of girls in your social group that will reject you too I am sure but it doesnt sting as much because you dont come across as a "creep"

I am not against social circle game at all because who hasnt done that but dont be crippled by your fear of what other people think of you when you cold approach. This is more directed at OP since you say you still cold approach. so what if the girl thinks youre creepy? what if the next one thinks youre brad pitt?

 

[Alvafe]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

people already said what should be said but I will also toss mine here

1) not "unnatural"?, only if you make it so, you talk with people everyday, people you don't even know and will never see again, sometimes it happens others you will just need to use a certain element in the scene to do it, but its hardly unnatural, and that is comming from a dude who never do small talk with people around, I see it happening and it does happen with me.

2) only makes you desperate if you don't take hints of someone not willing to talk and you keep pushing, plus you are thinking on you will try to talk for a end to get her number (with per see means nothing), when you should be thinking, she is pretty let's see if she smart enough to hold my interest for a min or 2, then move on. also note talking with people in partys you never did know before with no one around close by could be called cold aproach, only normally since you ahd some drinks already you don't over think on this.

3)never? are you sure? try again


only problem I see here is you don't feel confortable to talk with random people, and think you going to talk with a girl means by default you will look as a creep for just thinking about it, youa re seeking validation on your actions and want people here to agree with you, when they don't you get defensive about it and try to push and look agresive in doing so

 

[Who Dares Win]

to answer your question, I have been shot down way more times than I have been successful BUT Ive said this before somewhere else on this board but just because you cold approach and you think your game is on point doesnt mean youll be successful anyway. Not every girl is going to like you but the point is this... why limit yourself to only social circle game because you arent as successful with cold approaching? Sounds like ego protection to me and thats closed minded. There will be plenty of girls in your social group that will reject you too I am sure but it doesnt sting as much because you dont come across as a "creep"

I am not against social circle game at all because who hasnt done that but dont be crippled by your fear of what other people think of you when you cold approach. This is more directed at OP since you say you still cold approach. so what if the girl thinks youre creepy? what if the next one thinks youre brad pitt?

You make it more complicate than it is, for me is work/benefit ratio, if cold approaching would grant me a 10% success rate and social circle game a 5% one, I would be doing more cold approaches than the other way around.

When it comes of cold approaches is 90% look, when it comes of social circle game probably 60% in my opinion, guess good looking guys with a plain personality or low status would have different results in the two fields, personally I'm very lazy and only put work where the chances of success are the highest.

Not saying that this is the only way to act, if someone likes the thrill of cold approaches despite the result good for him, personally as I said Im lazy and put work only when necessary or where it pays the most.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Cold approaching is the equivalent of working a ****ty minimum wage job for a living. The ***** slayers of my fraternity never had to approach or girl or even knew how to in the first place. Girls would come to parties looking for them or they got hooked up through a friend.

 

[DiegoSantori]

^^ Here is the deeper issue: How an act makes you look (to others), as if others' opinions direct how you should or should not act.

You're a puppet directed by the strings of the puppeteer (others' opinions).

Just lol. You're contradicting yourself. You all care about your cold approach success rate which depends solely on the opinion that women have of you, but then you want to tell me that I'm other people's puppet? It does matter whether women think you're desperate or not because this determines whether you're successful or not. A lot of you are so blinded by the IDGAF concept that you ignore other people's reactions and how they think of you. Oh, you don't care about what other people think? Congratulations, you must be so cool. But please don't be surprised when a lot of women think you're weird and reject you while you're busy living your IDGAF life.

only problem I see here is you don't feel confortable to talk with random people.

Oh, don't worry brah, I feel very comfortable talking to random people. But they're usually coming to me, not viceversa. Be the flame, not the moth, you know what I'm saying?

I don't get you, guys. You're quick to call guys on this forum "desperate" and "needy" for god-knows-what-reason but when it comes to cold approaching, you suddenly ignore your principles. "Your attention is your currency"? Your attention isn't worth a dime if pretty much any woman walking down the street can have it! "Don't put women on a pedestal"? By thinking about your success rate and spending hours and hours seaching for a woman who is willing to give you the time of the day, you're putting women on a throne larger than the one Xerxes I of Persia was sitting on!

Lamborghini doesn't call you to sell you a car. By cold approaching, you officially tell a woman that you're a low value second-hand car. Even if you manage to get her number, she's busy trying to get the Lambo.

Cold approaching is the equivalent of working a ****ty minimum wage job for a living. The ***** slayers of my fraternity never had to approach or girl or even knew how to in the first place. Girls would come to parties looking for them or they got hooked up through a friend.

Thank you! Glad to see someone else who knows the truth.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Plus people don't like getting aggressively hit on. We had a pledge that would cold approach girls with game tactics at parties and every where in general. We started hearing back girls were creeped out by this guy and he was bothersome. We ended up dropping this pledge because this. Guy wasn't ugly either, looked liked that sunshine guy from Remember the Titans.

 

[dutchmaster]

If you're a high value man, the approach isn't so cold. Chances are she was already checking you out before you walked in

 

[ohrein]

These seem fake. I've done a bunch of cold approaches day and night and those hardcore bytches are RARE. Don't believe everything you see on the internet.

 

[Vivacity]

If you are attractive and have your $#!7 together, cold approaching will work. When it comes to dating/relationships, nothing works 100% of time. It's about managing your expectations, i.e., approach with a mindset that you will be rejected. I have cold approached with reasonable success, but only after spending 10 to 15 minutes of time at the scene of cold approach with the girl/woman I cold approached, giving her an impression that I am not desperate to get to know her or get her number.

"You can't lose what you don't have." Give it a shot; if it works, it works, and if it does not, who cares. Heartbreaks are for novices and rookies in the field. If you get rejected ten times, you would care less about any future rejections.

 

[3agle 3yes]

There is nothing wrong with cold approaching, you either do it or you don't, however by not cold approaching you miss a whole load of opportunities.

Here's the deal, you CAN cold approach and NOT look desperate or "unnatural". However, most guys (in general) have a mentality that makes it very hard to do this.

Most guys have what I call "premature relationship bias". This means most guys are inclined to think about having a relationship when he meets an attractive women. He will soon jump into a relationship with a woman on the slightest possibility and it comes across when he communicates.

The best way to deal with women (not just approaching, but in general) is to have no attachment...this means when you approach an attractive woman DON'T think about her in terms of relationship material, DON'T even think about getting her to like you. She's just a RANDOM girl in the street/bar/station etc, she's proved NOTHING to you...until she does.

Don't think about getting her number, you need a REASON first.

Cold approaching is really about:

1) Engaging in interesting and fun conversation (this doesn't have to be just verbal).
2) Vibing.

That's it...if SHE passes this test, then it's on, if she doesn't, move on.

Because cold approaching is really just about feeling whether she is a prospect.

She won't be sold right away (rarely anyway, and even if she is, she will rarely show it) and neither should YOU.

 

[MatureDJ]

Here's the thing about women doing cold street approaches (bar approaches are OK) - unless she is at very low Sexual Market Value (i.e., fat pig, etc.), the target will presume that there is something fishy going on (e.g., she's a prostitute, she wants to drug him and take his money, etc.), or at the very least, she's a complete nutcase. I had a similar cold approach in an eastern European country, and just came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth the chance of her ripping me off. I also had a similar cold approach at a gas station in Colorado (she gave me her number), and I considered following up, but then came to the conclusion that the only type of woman, especially in the USA, who would do a cold approach like that must be a loon and/or she must have been rough looking (the interaction was too short of a period of time to get a good look at her, although she didn't seem roly-poly fat).