This short video is the reason I'll never do cold approaching

[DiegoSantori]

Cold approaching is a waste of time.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Shocked those guys turned down that female for their numbers honestly

 

[raider87]

Shocked those guys turned down that female for their numbers honestly

Must be fake. Most guys would take it and keep it for a rainy day if they weren't that interested.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Fake

 

[Ratiocinative]

There's no reason to believe that video isn't heavily edited. Most "prank" and "social experiment" videos on Youtube are fake with actors. Youtube channels make videos to get views, and entertainment value and controversy get the most views, not scientific value or real word accuracy. Most people are happy to say hi to a stranger as long as you aren't acting like you want something from them. If their body language shows they're uncomfortable and want you to leave, or they say they're busy, then you move on.

Also, hey is a lame opener. You need to at least give the illusion you aren't hitting up every woman in a 5 mile radius and make a little effort to talk to her like a person. If your behavior reeks of "I'm out here in the middle of nowhere on the side of the street to get as many numbers as I can", then expect women to blow you off.

You need to make people feel like there is something special about them specifically, and not just that they happen to be another random smuck that crossed your path. Doesn't have to be too specific. If I see a woman dressed up nice I'll go with that. Just ask so whats the occasion or who she's here to meet, she'll reply confused, and then I'll respond joking that nobody gets dressed up all nice to go grocery shopping for no reason. Then you proceed from there, ask her name, make small talk, get her number, or better yet ask her to meet up for coffee in hour or whatever.

Something simple like that works really well. It's a genuine compliment without being asskissy, it makes them laugh or smile and feel good about herself, and most importantly it shows you are knowledgeable and successful with women. Most guys are too afraid to approach attractive women in public, or they take the shotgun approach and just talk to every woman. It shows you know the attractive ones are most likely to be single, and that she's purposely looking nice to meet guys just like you.

 

[Poon King]

Regardless of whether this video is real or not.. it should not be seen as a reason not to cold approach. Instead.. it should be seen as a reason not to be a white knight. It should be seen as a reason NOT to feel guilty when you sport f*ck women and never call them again.

Its all about perspective. Direct that anger in a direction you can benefit from.

 

[guru1000]

Meh, I much rather be that guy who tried three times and failed than a bvtch who is afraid to try.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Well the video was prolly edited to all hell, but it still isn't fake though, or else they wouldn't have blurred the faces. And you dont cold approach like that nowadays unless you are a model or famous actor or some ****. If you ever randomly talk to a chick you gotta be waiting at a bus stop or sitting next to her on a train or something like that. Plus, you gotta have something to talk about first, there's tons of other videos with dudes getting positive feedback.

But yeah generally speaking, most girls are a bit meaner than guys when it comes to rejections.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Not necessarily "fake" but heavily edited. Guy asks twenty girls for their number, and they only show the WORST ones. I guarantee you ask twenty girls for their number, by the fifteenth or later you'll be so OVER your fear of rejection that your natural confidence will be attractive enough to get a couple numbers.

NONE of these videos are "social experiments" they are to generate views (advertising $$) and as any copywriter/ad exec will tell you, you can sell ANYTHING if you can:

-----

Encourage Their Dreams

Justify Their Failures

Confirm Their Suspicions

Allay Their Fears

Help Them Throw Rocks At Their Enemies

------

Guys (like the OP, ahem) LOVE these videos because it gives them an EXCUSE to NOT cold approach. (And they paste it to boards like this to justify that decision and help the video creators make even more money)

Girls LOVE these videos because it validates their "girl power."

Which is why that vid has over TWO MILLION views (which translates into about $50K in ad revenue).

 

[DiegoSantori]

No thanks, I'll stay with using social circles. You have your opinion and I have mine.

 

[playa99]

Lol, if you nervously go up to someone and just ask for their number, no building any rapport and just asking someone out, your going to get rejected a high % of the time. I would reject someone coming up to me asking me for my number straight away, it reeks of desperation.

The only time approaching someone like that would work is with unwaivering confidence & no fear of rejection at all. In essence, being a master DJ.

Its like a sales person ringing you out of the blue saying 'hey, i have a great proposition, it costs x, will you have it?' in the first sentence.

This video is also probably fake, the woman sounds scripted.

 

[DiegoSantori]

NONE of these videos are "social experiments" they are to generate views (advertising $$) and as any copywriter/ad exec will tell you, you can sell ANYTHING if you can:

Guys (like the OP, ahem) LOVE these videos because it gives them an EXCUSE to NOT cold approach. (And they paste it to boards like this to justify that decision and help the video creators make even more money)

You can make money with the truth too. Just sayin'.

I would reject someone coming up to me asking me for my number straight away, it reeks of desperation.

Cold approaching in general reeks of desperation IMHO.

 

[MrWiggles]

You can make money with the truth too. Just sayin'.



Cold approaching in general reeks of desperation IMHO.

How does cold approaching reek of desperation? Sounds like you just can't do it. You see a cute interesting girl and you want to talk to her so you talk to her, that means you're desperate? How many times have you checked out a girl that was walking by? Does that make you desperate as well? It's like this... You're not starving but you see an advertisement for ice cream and you suddenly want some so you go and get some damn ice cream. What is the problem here?

I also feel like you think cold approaching is waiting in the bushes for the next girl to walk by. it doesnt have to be that way. A cold approach could be in a supermarket or a shoe store and you just start talking to her. It doesnt have to be you running after her in a desperate way like you are thinking.

 

[MrWood]

OP your perception is limiting your reality. I suggest you upgrade it.

^^^^ rite thurr ^^^^

 

[DiegoSantori]

How does cold approaching reek of desperation?

"Cold approaching" is giving up your manhood with the hope that a woman will give you the time of day. Sorry, but that's simply pathetic, and implies that you have such few options for meeting women, you resort to making hit-or-miss small talk with a female hoping to flatter her into liking you. Not to talk of the fact that you lower yourself so much for such a small reward. If you have your life in order, more than likely you will NOT need to do this. Cold approaching just suggests that you do NOT have your sh** together. And I know some people will disagree with me, but there's a reason it's such an awkward thing and people make such a fuss about it.

 

[MrWood]

a blindsided cold approach wont work 99% IMHO
a cold approach from a glancing, mutual smile will likely hit +50% if done right I think

I get alot of "mutual smiles" and "hi/hello" from women (always from them first) when walking in the city/mall etc but have never pulled a "excuse me" on one and go for instadate...

@LYD what do you make of that behavior from women?

 

[DiegoSantori]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

 

[MrWiggles]

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

2. It makes you look desperate. This goes back to the "unnatural" reason above. Most guys tend to meet girls that they date or hook up with at bars/parties, or through friends. Doing random approaches, especially alone, makes it look like you're desperate and have no other avenues for meeting women.

3. You will never see any investment bankers, big law firm lawyers or doctors do cold approaches. Ergo: High status men don't do cold approaching.

/thread

1. It isn't "unnatural" to have a conversation with someone, stranger or not. Maybe your social skills are lacking if you can't simply have a conversation with someone.

2. It is only desperate if you are actually desperate. What do you think meeting a girl at a bar is called when you approach someone at a bar? Isn't that a cold approach because they aren't part of your social circle?

3. I think you are referring to Alphas when you use these examples and to that I say alphas do whatever the hell they want. I am pretty sure all of those examples have "cold approached" before. Do you think women out in the world are going to just come crawling to you?

4. Dont be scared homie.

 

[Serenity]

Why? Cold approaching is fun, if you're not trying to win.

1. Cold approaching is "unnatural". How often do you see guys in real life going around talking to random girls?

I've seen myself do it, does that count? I also had a really good view of a typical daygame cold approach while at a restaurant with my female cousin. Saw it through the window, guy stops woman and they stand there talking and gesturing for 5 minutes. Exchange numbers and continue on their own way.

It happens probably 3 times a minute on a good sized nightclub, maybe a little less frequently in other bars. If you think of cold approaches as "hey", "you're attractive" and "can I have your number?", then that's the most awkward possible cold approach. I just walk over and hit up a conversation as if it was the worlds most natural thing to do. Then slowly work my way closer to her (given I like her personality too).

Whenever I did cold approach (not anymore since I'm exclusive) I counted on being rejected, but I did it anyways for the fun of it. I don't see what's so horrible about it. It just means that one single woman wasn't up for it, but there's always someone who is.

It's a numbers game as has been repeated endlessly on this forum. If you do 100 of them and get a number from 20 of them, that's a success rate of 20% or 1 of 5. That's a lot, but if you got rejected 4 times doing it and then decided to give up, you'd never know.

 

[guru1000]

2. It makes you look desperate.

^^ Here is the deeper issue: How an act makes you look (to others), as if others' opinions direct how you should or should not act.

You're a puppet directed by the strings of the puppeteer (others' opinions).