This is why girls flake on guys so much!

[john_1234]

this varies depending on how the interaction went. i established good rapport w/ this one girl at a club and i called her more than one week later. she was still receptive despite the duration of time.

 

[upsidedownside7]

If a girl flakes on you, time wasn't the problem...it was YOU. If you make a wonderful impression in three minutes let alone 5 or ten then she is willing to wait. If your some joe schmoe who is just like every other guy she is going to flake. This is common sense. This topic is irrelevant.

let me set an example...okay?

your a cute girl and you meet two guys. Which one are you more likely to flake off?

guy #1-I met a guy named John. He was good looking guy in nice clothes. He's an accountant. He asked me where I'm from and he lives in the town right near me. We talked a few minutes and got my number.

guy #2-I met a guy named Brad Johnson. He saw I was reading People and we talked about why Tom Cruise has gone so gaga over Katie Holmes and whether it'll last. We both agreed that the excitement is already out of their relationship and how it was like a middle school relationship. He first wanted to be an art major and be a painter but after maturing in college he realized his dream couldn't come true so he decided to start his own tax consulting company. He wants to take me to his favorite pizza place where used to take his little sister. He even said he'll buy me one of those 25 cent toys out of those coin machines. He also dressed nice. We exchanged numbers.

Brad's going to get the date because it's already SET UP! He didn't say let me take you out to dinner. That's weird sounding. Going for Pizza is around 5 bucks and sounds funner. Low risk date. If their pizza date flakes it surely won't be because she's waiting for guy #1. Even if Brad didn't set up this date he is waayyyy more interesting than John. The percentages are stacked against #1 whether he calls that night or in 3 weeks.

See?

 

[penkitten]

or there are other ways of looking at it like these examples:

i gave my number to so and so that i really liked but he waited too long to ever call me and that made me feel like i was on the back burner .

i gave my number to so and so that i might have liked but he waited too long to call and someone else got my number too and they called the very next day so im busy talking to him now.

or my personal oldie:
this guy at this club who was cute and seemed nice asked for my number after i danced with him. well i dont want to pick up someone in a club but i didnt want him to feel rejected so i gave him a fake number instead.

 

[flippinfreak]

or my personal oldie:
this guy at this club who was cute and seemed nice asked for my number after i danced with him. well i dont want to pick up someone in a club but i didnt want him to feel rejected so i gave him a fake number instead.

lol

"HEY!!! I just called to make sure you didn't give me a fake number"

"huh? What am I doing tonight, uh, going out with friends, I'll be at xxx-xxxx if you want to talk to me, bye"

 

[minda]

when to call advice

Flippinfreak you're smoother than I gave you credit for!
Nice comeback sweetheart, shame I'm married - I like a man who is eager to please.

Guys, I feel as though I need to clarify my advice, so here goes:

Call the chick one or two days after you get her number. Three days or longer looks like you don't give a sh*t.
Keep the conversation short and sweet.
Say that you are very busy for the next few days but would like to see her soon, then set up a date for 6 or 7 days later.
While on the hot date, have one of your good female buddies call you up on your cell phone. Don't talk to your buddy for longer than 1 minute. This makes you look sought after but not rude to your date.
For god's sake kiss the girl at the end of the night.
A kiss on the back of the hand instead of on the lips or cheek makes you look mature and in control of your raging libido. You will become Mr. Romantic in her eyes and she will be wetting her knickers to see you again.

Good luck fellas.

 

[mrRuckus]

well i dont want to pick up someone in a club but i didnt want him to feel rejected so i gave him a fake number instead.

HAHAHA. No. Didn't want him to feel rejected my ass. He feels dejected when he calls and the person says "you have the wrong number." The girl didn't care about anything other than not feeling awkward saying no to begin with. She protected her own ass.


My girl is awesome. The other day this guy who is friends with one of her friends and she'd been around in person before tried to ask her out. She quickly and bluntly told him no he's not the type of person she dates (didn't go into detail with him but she told me he has no self confidence etc and even if she were wanting to date someone else there'd be no way with him) That's the best possible thing. He gets used to rejection and it's quickly over and done with.

 

[mrRuckus]

Women can pick up on whether a guy has deliberated over whether to call them one day or three days later!! We have amazing intuition.

Mularkey. We've got to stop pretending like women are magical. Most of my experience with women's intuition is that it's dead wrong. They get some "intuitous" idea in their heads based on some nonexistant or irrelevant facts and it's like beating a dead horse to change it despite it being wrong as hell.

You should ask yourselves whether you'd actually want to be with a woman who is happy to sit around waiting for a guy to call three days later...she may not have that much self confidence!

Sit around? She was probably out doing her own stuff. Who the hell sits by the phone anymore?

On the other hand, a guy who calls the next day (not morning, we are talking late evening here) comes across as chivalrous and interested in you.

Why would a guy want to come off as interested in you? I didn't know the code of knightly chivalry included how quickly to call a girl.

 

[d9930380]

I hate to say it but I agree

Girls and guys should be blunt about it as it shatters their illusions about yourself. There is no point hitting on a supermodel if you look like Screech.

Now one rejection from a good looking girl doesn't matter or two or even three but if it's constant and you've never pulled one eventually you'll get the message and start looking for someone on your level.

Because at the end of the day. Looks really don't matter once you're in a relationship unless she's just a trophy girlfriend and then what do you do when you're not screwing her.

Allthough one thing I would say. I wish alot of women wouldn't be so fat, seriously, it's such a turn off and it's not hard to just limit the amount you eat to 3 meals a day and not snack. Men don't really give a **** too much about the face, 90% girls are respectable enough and a healthy looking body goes ALONG way.

I think we should bring back rationing.

 

[everywomanshero]

What is the point is acting like a homosexual? She shoudl find out your busy through all the cool stuff she stumbles onto when talking to your friends, when she calls you and you're busy with hobbies/cool job related stuff, and when she finds cool pictures at your apartment by "accident". You squeezed in time for her despite all these things, you charming stud you!

Don't wait three days to call because you're busy talking hairstyles with your gay lovers. However, if I am legitimately busy, then it is possible I may not be able to call her for a few days. In that case, I am too busy to care what happens anyway. Deliberately waiting to call is acting homosexual. How far must you go to insure no one finds out, heaven forbid, you LIKE WOMEN.

I personally think you should go around wearing a T shirt that exclaims I LIKE BIG BUTTS if you are ever tempted to wait 3 days to call. Get the shame out of your system. It's OK to want to have women in your life. It's OK to NOT BE GAY. You don't have to appologize for it by acting gay by waiting 3 days to cal anymore.

 

[d9930380]

This is pointless

At the end of the day if you both really like each other it's easy.

I was once called by a girl the next day after having sex with her at a party.

Needless to say this just made me make a decision straight away as I knew she REALLY liked me. As I knew it would only be a fling at most I never called back as i didn't want to hurt her further down the line. If she had of been up for a fling then I would have been aswell.

Now had I REALLY liked the girl and she phoned the next day then I would have been over the moon because she had just showed me how much she liked me.

When you have to ask then it probably won't work out in the long term. The only exception is if she's damaged goods and your willing to put up with the whole trust issues she will have, certainly to begin with.

 

[minda]

Mularkey. We've got to stop pretending like women are magical. Most of my experience with women's intuition is that it's dead wrong. They get some "intuitous" idea in their heads based on some nonexistant or irrelevant facts and it's like beating a dead horse to change it despite it being wrong as hell.

Okay, that can happen, but it is true that we have a larger corpus callosum than men - a structure in our brains that allows us to integrate sensory information from all modalities and from each hemisphere. SO, we may have more correct intuitions than men.

Sit around? She was probably out doing her own stuff. Who the hell sits by the phone anymore?

Actually, women still count the number of days it takes a guy to call, don't tell yourself otherwise. Even if we are out at the gym, or shopping, or whatever, we still check our cell phone messages every hour to see if we missed something.

Why would a guy want to come off as interested in you? I didn't know the code of knightly chivalry included how quickly to call a girl.

Hmmm, sorry buddy, it's in there.
You weren't aware?
After all, why would you guys be asking advice about it?
If you don't want to come across as interested, what the hell are you doing contacting the girl at all?

Okay, gotta go do some work today....

 

[mrRuckus]

Okay, that can happen, but it is true that we have a larger corpus callosum than men - a structure in our brains that allows us to integrate sensory information from all modalities and from each hemisphere. SO, we may have more correct intuitions than men.

What does being able to communicate between the hemispheres give you if you don't have the grey matter to be able to process the information to begin with? You end up with a whole lot of static.

Do you know what intuition is?

intuition
1. a.The act or faculty of knowing or sensing without the use of rational processes; immediate cognition.
b.. Knowledge gained by the use of this faculty; a perceptive insight.
2. A sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression.


That's right. Making sh1t up. Probably based on emotional crud. " Oh no this one time my friend's bf went to that bar and he saw some girl he knew and they cheated together.. so my bf isn't allowed out of my sight because he knows girls who aren't me and IS PROBABLY CHEATING ON ME!!!!" Women's intuition. Gimme a break.

Actually, women still count the number of days it takes a guy to call

Good for them but why are you saying that?

Hmmm, sorry buddy, it's in there.
You weren't aware?
After all, why would you guys be asking advice about it?
If you don't want to come across as interested, what the hell are you doing contacting the girl at all?

No it's not.

I'm not asking advice.

I contact a girl to see if i should have any interest in her. I barely know her yet why would i be interested beyond a very shallow superficial level?

 

[paraguayandj]

i think that if you build enough rapport at the moment you met her it doesn't really matter how many days you take to call. Most woman i meet dig my personality and they are the ones eager call me. Most of the time i tell them if i want to see them some other day or if i will call her or she will have to call me right on the spot. So don't get too stuck up in this rule of how long you should wait to call her and shyt

 

[flippinfreak]

lol MrRuckus, I was going to laugh at you the first time, but decided to let a girl do the talking for me... She did, and said it better, I only learned about the Corpus Callosum last night while studying emotional pathways.

All I can is, boy have you got to work on your emotions... look at you accusations straight from your intuitions...

and they're all wrong, man your even contradicting yourself, and forgetting what you mentioned.

 

[skip2mylou781]

when a get a # really fast from a cold approach, u gotta call ASAP to develop enough rapport for her to even think about u and wanna see u

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Why are you guys making this matter so complex? There is a simple way to know how long you should wait before you call.You check your clock right before the sarge,and then again the moment you get the #,now just use this simple math equation.
time1 = starting time (before sarge)
time2 = ending time
x = 1.5 if there was kino during the first approach,1 if not
y = 1.7 if there was a kiss during the first approach,1 if not
z = 0 if there was sex on the first approach , 1 if not

(time2 - time1)^1/2 * x * y * z * 24 = number of hours to wait

Ok that was some dry humor,ahem,what im trying to say here is it depends on your first approach.If you did a good first impression/how close you were (sexually)/how long you talked/how much interest she seemed to have in you.Just work by gut and try it to be more than 1 day (or use the above equation ).

 

[khash]

a decent post. you should build HUGE rapport with her initially when you meet her first. you should try to get a kiss within your first meeting. I know its really hard, but there is a way to everything. It just takes a long time through trial and error to find the right way . some find it quicker than others.

I DONT AGREE WITH CALLING THE NEXT DAY No matter how much rapport you have built, calling her next day will shift power to her. she knows you have been thinking about her that you couldnt wait to call her. DONT DO THIS. it subconciously makes HER the prize, and the AFC days are back from here on.

My best advice: make sure you use kin on your first meeting, and with strong eye contact go for the kiss if you think its right. of course you must have talked to her for more than 20 mins. Try to get social proof infront of this girl. ie. let her see you acting as alpha male with other females. get her number, call her and dont give a **** what happens. there are millions of reasons she wouldnt call you and 900 000 of them dont have anything to do with you, its about her securities and boost of self confidence.

ciao fellas

 

[far from average]

This all depends on the type of girl you are dealing with. It might not work on somebody like Minda, but on other types of girls it might work. Really, the fact is that if she likes you you really have to work at it if you want to f*ck it up.

Just be relaxed about it and don't think too much into what you're doing and you will be ok.

 

[skip2mylou781]

KHASH - I agree with u, but ur scenario of waiting to call is if u have kino/rapport.

what I AM SAYING is that if u get a # real fast within a couple of minutes (aka wats ur name, where u from, i gotta go gimme ur # kinda thing), then u MUST call ASAP so u can establish some rapport or else she wont giv a **** about who u r. Do you get wat im sayin pimp?

 

[flippinfreak]

I can can call a girl and build rapport from nothing, just as you can go through the phonebook and call random people and make friends.

Just make sure you don't sound like your selling anything, because being too eager is selling yourself short.