So I was talking to some girl who was in a social clique that I was in from a few years ago. I was simply having a friendly conversation, I wasn't trying to hook up with her or ask her out. But she insists that I want to date her/hook up with her and keeps on consistently telling me "I have a boyfriend." WTF?!?! I wasn't asking her out, I was just being friendly. Why must every girl I talk to think I want something more than being friends? At least I know now that I come off as the nice and desperate guy and not a friendly cool one. :::sigh:::
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
This is REALLY annoying
- Thread starter Demystify
- Start date
“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
suavesuave
Senior Don Juan
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She was insecure.
Sneaky_Beta
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when she tells u she has a boyfriend, it could mean u have conveyed too much interest. but there are other reasons why she would tell you too.
its really not much when she tells u she has a boyfriend, i have just recently hooked up with this girl who had a boyfriend. you just gotta make her look bad for it.
its really not much when she tells u she has a boyfriend, i have just recently hooked up with this girl who had a boyfriend. you just gotta make her look bad for it.
Rhoto
Master Don Juan
I'm going to assume a couple things:Demystify said:
1) You're not looking for a girl friend per se, you're looking to get laid. Mind you this doesn't rule out the possibility, but it sounds like you're too immature for a serious relationship. (and no offense is intended by that statement.)
2) You don't really care what women that you're not banging think of you.
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First, you should have a couple of back handed responses to this, especially if you don't plan to get in the sack with her.
I prefer - "Don't worry hun, I'm not jealous." (from the City of Men series)
But I've also used:
"Why do you think I'd consider sleeping with you?"
"Please hun, you think much too highly of yourself."
"Then why are you wasting my time?"
All should be used with caution, because if you don't have the Mojo (personality) to back it up, you'll be a poser.
But the underlying problem is the reaction women are giving you. Minimize what you say to women. Let them talk, they love to. Always redirect back to them, because this does two things:
1) Prevents you from saying something stupid that will make her count you out.
2) She thinks you actually care what she has to say. Thus increasing the probability of you tapping it.
And stop being so friendly. Really. Stop. Friends are friendly.
If you have any more questions or want some other advice, PM me.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Canadian Catnip
Senior Don Juan
I had something similar happen to me yesterday. I found it annoying as well and was wondering what I should have done in my situation.
I know a girl that did something similar. Yesterday I was sitting in a coffee shop drinking a cup of joe and writing in my journal. She comes in and sees me and instead of ordering a drink at the counter she comes over and sits at my table and starts to talk with me. "Yadda yadda yadda" for five minutes then she says we should get together sometime in the next few weeks".
"Sounds good to me" I say. She has said this before but never seems to actually make the plans right then and there.
She gets up and goes to the counter to order her coffee. I get back to writing when I notice my cup is empty. I want a refill so I get up and walk over to the counter and just happen to stand behind her as she orders her drink. After ordering her drink she turns to me and says something like "I just told you, we WILL get together in a few weeks Catnip, OK?"
She said it in this kinda of tone as if she assumed I was coming back up to talk with her again and specifically ask her when we could get together again.
I was just going up there to get a refill on my coffee, she assumed I was following after her like a puppy dog or something because I just happened to get up within 30 seconds after she left.
In my mind I was thinking, you stupid women, do you think everything that everyone does revolves around you? I wanted to say something to her at the time but I just smiled a little and held up my cup and ordered my refill.
I know a girl that did something similar. Yesterday I was sitting in a coffee shop drinking a cup of joe and writing in my journal. She comes in and sees me and instead of ordering a drink at the counter she comes over and sits at my table and starts to talk with me. "Yadda yadda yadda" for five minutes then she says we should get together sometime in the next few weeks".
"Sounds good to me" I say. She has said this before but never seems to actually make the plans right then and there.
She gets up and goes to the counter to order her coffee. I get back to writing when I notice my cup is empty. I want a refill so I get up and walk over to the counter and just happen to stand behind her as she orders her drink. After ordering her drink she turns to me and says something like "I just told you, we WILL get together in a few weeks Catnip, OK?"
She said it in this kinda of tone as if she assumed I was coming back up to talk with her again and specifically ask her when we could get together again.
I was just going up there to get a refill on my coffee, she assumed I was following after her like a puppy dog or something because I just happened to get up within 30 seconds after she left.
In my mind I was thinking, you stupid women, do you think everything that everyone does revolves around you? I wanted to say something to her at the time but I just smiled a little and held up my cup and ordered my refill.
Why would you assume that she thinks you are nice and desperate, and not friendly and cool?Demystify said:
She could be thinking this guy is attractive and for some reason his conversational dynamics mixed with that sexy glint in his eye is getting me a little bit moist downstairs, OMG can my social circle sense this? I better tell him about my BF in case this gets back to him,
She could be a decent girl who just has respect for her boyfriend or even a dreaded AW, who cares man, it's her problem not yours.......you know what your intentions were....why let it annoy you? Who cares?