All summer I have had my fun, spinning as many plates as possible, just doing my thing and having fun. A few weeks a go (four weeks) I meet a girl or I should say women, wile picking up my New York Rangers season tickets, it turns out she is also a season ticket holder right away she had my attention, we talked for awhile I got her phone number. We went out the first time nothing happened she was real cool we just talked a lot but I did notice she was totally into me, after going out with her the second time (pizza then walking around a park) I did kisser her a few times, then I had left to go to the gym and have dinner with my family, I get a phone call later that night, she wanted me to meet her at this bar that was having a rock band playing that night, I went we all over each other, and from then on its been great, we seem to spend a lot of time together even though our schedules are crazy, she teaches HS and College, also sings in a band, I on the other hand work a lot and play hockey three nights a week wile also going to the gym, in between this and friends she’s over my house. I did NOT have sex with her until this past week, now for some DJ that’s just crazy, but I kind like the fact she made me wait, all the other plates of summers past I was in bed with them after the 3rd time we hung out. She is telling me she told her family all about me even her grandparents, her friends etc, I have meet most of her friends as she has mine, I know for sure she’s only dating me and to be honest I am only dating her, this seems so crazy to me cause my schedule is so hectic, I make time to see her. I felt like she was worth my time and other eventually just faded out and was not worth it. Has this happened to anyone else? It seems like this is headed to a LTR I know she wants one she’s 28. This just seems like it's moving fast, never meet a women like this.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
This is moving fast!
- Thread starter eyedea40
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I would be careful and try to take a step back. Most of the times this has happened to me the fire was quick to light, but it was also quick to burn out.
Remember- if a chick is into you a little distance is ALWAYS better than being too close. I know it might feel "right", but the chances of her interest in you dropping are substantial if you continue on this path.
Remember- if a chick is into you a little distance is ALWAYS better than being too close. I know it might feel "right", but the chances of her interest in you dropping are substantial if you continue on this path.
Ditto Str8up: slow it way down. By putting in "a lot of time together" and having her over at your house you're giving her overexposure of yourself. When she's satiated, she's likely to have her fill and not want as much. Hey, I like tapioca pudding but if I ate it several times a week, I'd vomit.
Plus, right now, the relationship is driven by the euphoric rush of endorphins so you're like a god who can do no wrong and she's infatuated as you seem to be too... for the time being. But in your abundant time together you're more likely to let your guard down and do and say something(s) that's going to be ignored at first as she has blinders on, but registers in her gut nonetheless, and that can come back to bite you.
Fast to start, fast to end. It could just be the thrill of new love for her. But you can't go wrong by going slow and leave her wanting more.
Plus, right now, the relationship is driven by the euphoric rush of endorphins so you're like a god who can do no wrong and she's infatuated as you seem to be too... for the time being. But in your abundant time together you're more likely to let your guard down and do and say something(s) that's going to be ignored at first as she has blinders on, but registers in her gut nonetheless, and that can come back to bite you.
Fast to start, fast to end. It could just be the thrill of new love for her. But you can't go wrong by going slow and leave her wanting more.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Fast? Instense? Four weeks and she's told the world? Too good to be true?
Read this thread, now, all of it.
The indicators are screaming "BPD!" I could be wrong, of course, but, arm yourself and be very afraid, dude. I see SEVERAL indications.
Read up and pay close attention, that's all I can say.:nervous:
Read this thread, now, all of it.
The indicators are screaming "BPD!" I could be wrong, of course, but, arm yourself and be very afraid, dude. I see SEVERAL indications.
Read up and pay close attention, that's all I can say.:nervous:
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
BeyondCharm
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2008
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I noticed there are a lot of people offering you warnings in this thread. They remind me of my mom, always looking to protect me from harms way. So I will say this. Any time we choose a new direction, take action, and open ourselves up to somebody we risk the chance of being hurt. It's just the way it is.
More important than any advice anyone here can give you is that you must be TRUE to yourself and honest with other people if you want to have a honest relationship with somebody else. You know your own needs better then anyone else and unto that, only you can truly know what you want and need and only you can CHOOSE to be honest with others about that.
In order to minimize anxiety and frustration, take to mind this pearl I picked up: Serenity (inner peace) is inversely proportional to expectations.
More important than any advice anyone here can give you is that you must be TRUE to yourself and honest with other people if you want to have a honest relationship with somebody else. You know your own needs better then anyone else and unto that, only you can truly know what you want and need and only you can CHOOSE to be honest with others about that.
In order to minimize anxiety and frustration, take to mind this pearl I picked up: Serenity (inner peace) is inversely proportional to expectations.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
There is a difference between "hurt" and "psychological abuse".
I will keep my eye out. Thanks for the heads up.Vulpine
Master Don Juan
Of course YOU wouldn't see them.
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Yes, it has.eyedea40 said:
It happened to me.. Except we slept together first date.. The next weekend she "forgot' shampoo, and bought a razor/shampoo and put it into my shower.. Things were going well until some red flags came about.. She accused me of cheating (after 3 weeks) because I she found out another girl gave me her number..
After she made a scene at my friends wedding, I broke up with her (here is the thread story...
"Steer clear big tuna, head for open waters"...
After she made a scene at my friends wedding, I broke up with her (here is the thread story...
"Steer clear big tuna, head for open waters"...
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.