"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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This is F-d up!!!!!!!!!

J

jprjrjr

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Yesterday I was at a local bar having a few drinks with my bros. I'm sitting there eating buffalo wings, and basically minding my own business.

After about a half hour, this cute brunette chick comes and sits next to me. I really didn't pay her much attention, but in the back of my mind I thought she looked kind of familiar.

She kept making eye contact with me, but seeing as I'm engaged, I pretty much blew it off. This went on for awhile until she finally introduces herself to me. She said she was new to town, and wanted a "Big strong Marine" to show her around.

My buddies were kinda laughing, but something about this didn't feel right. I asked her if we've ever met, because she looked really familiar. She said no..and that this was her first time to the west coast.

Then this woman starts putting her hands on me...she's stroking my arms..touching my face..eventually I had to tell her I was engaged, and I wasn't interested.

Then she begins to laugh hysterically...I'm like WHAT THE ****? She then proceeds to tell me my fiance asked her to hit on me to see what I'd do????????

She said she works at the same office building my fiance does, and this was a little "test" to see if I was faithful....

I am so pissed!!!!! If she doesn't fvcking trust me...why is she marrying me????? I was so mad that when I got home I called my fiance. She thought it was harmless, and did it to see if I was true to my word. I told her I thought it was stupid fvcking game playing, and I hung up...

She's been texting me, and calling me, but I won't pick up. She's crying and saying she only wanted to see if I really love her....

I don't know guys. This really has me steamed....what should I do here?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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B

Black_Italian

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even though you wont listen to me. Break up wit her a realationship without trust is doomed to faliure let alone a marrige without trust.
 
I

I'm Joe Dirt

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She is probably having marriage jitters and wants to make sure she isn't making a mistake. Forgive her, but let her know that she shouldn't do that kind of thing in the future.

Its no reason to break up with her. If you are with her to the point of marriage it means you already have worked hard. Don't let some jerks here obsessed with "nexting" tell you to leave her now.
 
B

Black_Italian

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I dont appreicate your tone JOE i am not obbsessed with nexting i have told you time and time again not to jump to conclusions. If you read the other thread that he started you will see that i admited that i could be wrong in this situation because i have never been engaged/in love.
 
S

seagull

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What she did was pretty bad, I would feel insulted if that happened to me. She shouldn't be marrying you if she feels she can't trust you.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L

lebRambo

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like joe said, forgive her, but let her know that you won't be taking any more of that sh*t. she obviously loves you if she keeps texting you and calling you and crying and sh*t.
 
R

RAFCbearfilm

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I gotta tell you that the decision lies with you.
You were wronged by this woman and only you knwo whether or not it was "harmless." If it were me I would follow Black's advice and let her go if you don't feel that she was just liable for stupid judgement.
I am telling you to listen to how YOU feel about her actions. If you think it was an act of stupidity, forgive and move on. If you feel her motives were to TEST you, then move on. Testing is for High School, real adults TRUST until it has been lost. I would think she is the one that lost trust.
Good luck to you on sorting this out.
 
E

Eric Clapton

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Man, I'm sorry that happened but are you fvcking retarted? For the life of me I don't even know why you needed to post this.

This is a prediction. Drop her, that is my opinion.
 
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seroph

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I'd forgive her. You did the right thing, in my opinion. But like someone up there said, u worked hard to get to this point in ur relationship. she should trust you now, anyway.

sounds like something done out of immaturity/fun not spite.

*shrugs* best of luck.

-JP
 
A

avrilishot

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thats pretty fvucked up man. Make her do something for you.:)
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Mojo604

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NEXT!







:crackup: ..jk


thats quite the situation...
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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