"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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This has to be a trap.

The LadyKiller

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Well over a year ago, I met a HB8. She and I hit it off, until her bff (who has since moved far, far away) made up some false, unflattering bs to tell her about me. At that point, HB8 cut me off entirely. Blocked me on everything and wouldn't even say "hi" if we were in the same room. We both were at a party once, and she supposedly b*tched at my friend about why I had to be there. You get the point.

After the initial shock of it all wore off, this was fine by me. I moved on and met other HBs. People we were both friendly with quickly realized she was being immature and felt more comfortable around me. Probably also helped that she moved to a different department at our company (yes, we work at the same large place), so I didn't have to see her anymore.

Fast-forward to this week. Due to several coworkers on vacation, HB is back in my department for the week. Lo and behold, HB8 couldn't be any more charming towards me. Ever since I told a joke during our staff meeting early the first day, she's been around me a lot. For a girl who doesn't flirt and isn't all that "experienced," she smiles at me constantly, walks over to ask me really easy questions, and laughs hysterically at every one-liner I make. She also seems to care what I think of her work even though we're of similar rank. In short, talking to and working with her has been easy. Maybe too easy.

My friend and I are 100% convinced she is trying to set a trap of some sort. How else would you explain someone who previously hated your guts now acting in an extremely nice manner, right? There's a chance she's recently matured and/or realized the error of her ways, but there's no way of finding that out.

To make it clear, I have no interest in HB8. Sure, when she's in a good mood we hit it off, but she has the personality of a dementor when any conflict arises. Pair that with the immaturity a year ago, and I'm not for that. But I wonder if this HB has an ulterior move OR if a long period of no-contact has cooled off her hate.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mike32ct

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One time, a director that barely ever talked me was suddenly very warm, friendly, and chatty with me. I was taken in the office and given a layoff notice minutes later lol.

Obviously this is a very different situation, but you have every reason to be suspicious. Be polite to her, but I don't think I would accept any invites from her to do things outside of work.

She may also start to pry for gossip material. Don't tell her anything personal or regarding your dating life. Women do the "good cop" sort of thing to get you to let your guard down and give them juicy gossip material.
 

Cremasta

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The LadyKiller said:
There's a chance she's recently matured and/or realized the error of her ways, but there's no way of finding that out.
There is... she will apologise.

Until she does that, assume that there is nothing genuine about her.
As Mike says, do not let her inside your guard, give her nothing. Make sure she is blocked on whatever social media you use and do not let her get in your head.

She doesn't get to just 'cool off' and expect everything is fine.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bingo-Player

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just call her out on it ,

you can't fall into a trap if you open it first
 

The LadyKiller

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Mike32ct said:
One time, a director that barely ever talked me was suddenly very warm, friendly, and chatty with me. I was taken in the office and given a layoff notice minutes later lol.
Perhaps she was happy because you were about to be let go!

In all seriousness, good to know I'm not alone in feeling out-of-sorts. Yes it's been a year, but someone who used to dislike you suddenly acting like a best friend makes me suspicious.

To open the book further, her literally crazy bff (same as before) was fired by our company in early 2013, then decided to "sue" every guy she ever came in contact with at work. That was a fun 10 minutes in HR (they apologized to me about even being called in - the director laughed at her claims because they were complete nonsense). It was shortly after this when HB started acting differently towards me.

That was to provide a little narrative. But I'll continue acting as I have been, and as you all suggested. I have no reason to trust and open up, at least not yet.
 

VladPatton

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Don't trust her for a second, go with your gut. And sure as hell don't go anywhere with her outside of work without tons of witnesses. Fück that!
 
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El Payaso

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She sounds shady.
 

nismo-4

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If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Continue to ignore this girl.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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