"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

This has to be a trap.

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Well over a year ago, I met a HB8. She and I hit it off, until her bff (who has since moved far, far away) made up some false, unflattering bs to tell her about me. At that point, HB8 cut me off entirely. Blocked me on everything and wouldn't even say "hi" if we were in the same room. We both were at a party once, and she supposedly b*tched at my friend about why I had to be there. You get the point.

After the initial shock of it all wore off, this was fine by me. I moved on and met other HBs. People we were both friendly with quickly realized she was being immature and felt more comfortable around me. Probably also helped that she moved to a different department at our company (yes, we work at the same large place), so I didn't have to see her anymore.

Fast-forward to this week. Due to several coworkers on vacation, HB is back in my department for the week. Lo and behold, HB8 couldn't be any more charming towards me. Ever since I told a joke during our staff meeting early the first day, she's been around me a lot. For a girl who doesn't flirt and isn't all that "experienced," she smiles at me constantly, walks over to ask me really easy questions, and laughs hysterically at every one-liner I make. She also seems to care what I think of her work even though we're of similar rank. In short, talking to and working with her has been easy. Maybe too easy.

My friend and I are 100% convinced she is trying to set a trap of some sort. How else would you explain someone who previously hated your guts now acting in an extremely nice manner, right? There's a chance she's recently matured and/or realized the error of her ways, but there's no way of finding that out.

To make it clear, I have no interest in HB8. Sure, when she's in a good mood we hit it off, but she has the personality of a dementor when any conflict arises. Pair that with the immaturity a year ago, and I'm not for that. But I wonder if this HB has an ulterior move OR if a long period of no-contact has cooled off her hate.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
8,410
Reaction score
5,173
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
One time, a director that barely ever talked me was suddenly very warm, friendly, and chatty with me. I was taken in the office and given a layoff notice minutes later lol.

Obviously this is a very different situation, but you have every reason to be suspicious. Be polite to her, but I don't think I would accept any invites from her to do things outside of work.

She may also start to pry for gossip material. Don't tell her anything personal or regarding your dating life. Women do the "good cop" sort of thing to get you to let your guard down and give them juicy gossip material.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
963
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
The LadyKiller said:
There's a chance she's recently matured and/or realized the error of her ways, but there's no way of finding that out.
There is... she will apologise.

Until she does that, assume that there is nothing genuine about her.
As Mike says, do not let her inside your guard, give her nothing. Make sure she is blocked on whatever social media you use and do not let her get in your head.

She doesn't get to just 'cool off' and expect everything is fine.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Bingo-Player

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 10, 2014
Messages
3,628
Reaction score
4,347
Location
uk
just call her out on it ,

you can't fall into a trap if you open it first
 

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Mike32ct said:
One time, a director that barely ever talked me was suddenly very warm, friendly, and chatty with me. I was taken in the office and given a layoff notice minutes later lol.
Perhaps she was happy because you were about to be let go!

In all seriousness, good to know I'm not alone in feeling out-of-sorts. Yes it's been a year, but someone who used to dislike you suddenly acting like a best friend makes me suspicious.

To open the book further, her literally crazy bff (same as before) was fired by our company in early 2013, then decided to "sue" every guy she ever came in contact with at work. That was a fun 10 minutes in HR (they apologized to me about even being called in - the director laughed at her claims because they were complete nonsense). It was shortly after this when HB started acting differently towards me.

That was to provide a little narrative. But I'll continue acting as I have been, and as you all suggested. I have no reason to trust and open up, at least not yet.
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,246
Reaction score
232
Location
NYC
Don't trust her for a second, go with your gut. And sure as hell don't go anywhere with her outside of work without tons of witnesses. Fück that!
 
Last edited:

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,621
Reaction score
2,624
She sounds shady.
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,438
Reaction score
1,142
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.

Continue to ignore this girl.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Top