This girl I like, asked me whether to accept a guy!

[Trapper]

and do not blame the girl nor the guy.. im sorry man its your fault.. you must have told her your intentions to that girl.. i know its hard..but gone is gone.. move on!

 

[spider_007]

hey fella, what are you, 12????

 

[Fela Kuti]

well, i expresed my feelings in a subtle way. like calling her darling, dear, etc. and most importantly, i flirted with her, i asked her out. by my action, it's clear that i'm interested. i just didn't feel like saying "i love you" or something...

 

[Fela Kuti]

hey fella, what are you, 12????

21. what makes u think i'm 12?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Wrong! Wrong! WRONG!

Never express your feelings in a mushy way and never ASK for her to be your gf. That is beyond needy, it is pathetic.

Sure she "accepted" him for now. I can assure you that she is NOT attracted. It will not last. She will have her way with him. She can call him at 3 am in the morning for a snack and he'll rush on over with her favourite treat like the little AFC that he is. She will say "jump" and he will ask "how high?"......and wait, you are JEALOUS of him?

He's an AFC. He won't get any. She is doing it out of pity. She is patting herself on the back now for letting a loser feel a little better about himself by "accepting" him.

I have seen a guy CRY because a girl rejected him. You can't get much more AFC than that. Yet a week later she "dated" him. OUT OF PITY. She was NOT attracted. I forgot how long it lasted....maybe a few weeks. NOTHING happened. He was lucky to get a hug. :crackup:

The saying goes to never TELL her your feelings like that directly because it KILLS attraction. AND IT DOES. Firsthand experience AND secondhand experience multiple times has confirmed this fact in my own life. I had a girl even tell me in those words that when her "friend" came out to her, it killed any chances of them dating (because she WAS thinking about it at one point) Maybe she'll "date" you out of PITY, but rest assured there is NO attraction. That's why you DON'T do it.

Anyways, I think you have quite a bit of AFC left in you.....you need some work.

Oh and let me know when they break up. :crackup:

 

[Fela Kuti]

Anyways, I think you have quite a bit of AFC left in you.....you need some work.

yeah i think so too what part of my action is AFC, by the way? and how about the letter? should i send it? i really want to thank her and tell her that i miss her...

 

[Mayfly]

yeah i think so too what part of my action is AFC, by the way? and how about the letter? should i send it? i really want to thank her and tell her that i miss her...

why don't you send your testicles too, that would be the only manhood you have left

 

[Fela Kuti]

why don't you send your testicles too, that would be the only manhood you have left

what, so saying "thank you" is not allowed anymore these days? great. but i think i shouldn't tell her i miss her, though..

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Which part of you is AFC - the part that gives a f*ck. Anyone would think she was the most important woman on earth by the amount of 'thought' and 'planning' your giving her.

That letter will freak her out, and confuse her. Your best bet is to play it cool, hang with her when its convenient and dont go out of your way to impress her. Remember, its all about pressing the RIGHT buttons.

 

[woods]

Dont send the letter, just walk away.

 

[onyx]

yeh definetly dont send that letter dude

 

[Fela Kuti]

Well, I've sent the letter. I've got nothing to lose anyway. I don't expect anything, just want to thank her. In fact, i want this girl to be my FRIEND. Yeah, LJBF! And to end the "breakup" in a good note. I think it will be awkward meeting her if I act like nothing's happened. By sending it, it's clear where my position is: as a guy who was a bf potential, but since she's with someone now, is not afraid and mad to let her go. Maybe she'll see me like, "this guy is great. unlike other guys that either walk away like an a**hole or being clingy, he doesn't deny that he was interested in me, but doesn't appear desperate."

 

[Scought]

Yeah, you have something to lose.

Your diginity.
Look, if you want advice and you get it, take it. Otherwise, don't post anything. You were actually looking for someone to agree with you, than to actually give you advice.

Now wait til her boyfriend, your 'friend', gets to read a note. What a chump you will look like.

Doesn't seem desperate? ugh, yes you do.

You said: You are sooooo amazing (or whatever it was you said).

A non-desperate man doesn't waste time writing letters. He would have too many to write and moves on to another interested target.

 

[ryannath]

Girls think love notes are gay when written by guys. Don't do it! and you sent it. Man, that is so AFC. Read the DJ Bible. A huge rule is don't do the letter thing. And, you wanted you and her breakup to be good? What breakup? You were not even her BF! Come on man, wake up from being a horrible AFC.

I mean maybe you called each other bf and gf, but you only had 4 dates! I don't even take anything seriously with just being with someone 4 times.

 

[green69]

This thread is very entertaining, lol.

 

[Fela Kuti]

@ scought: nah, i erased the "you're so awesome" part. i just wrote "sweetie, i'll remember it all"

@ ryannath: i have 8 dates by now. and long ones too. usually from afternoon until night.

well, i don't care if it's the "right" thing to do. the important thing is, it made me feel better. there are times when it's okay to break the "rules", i guess.

so anyway, here's her reply:

"s p e e c h l e s s . ."

btw, my girl friends said that my message is just toooo sweet

 

[Fela Kuti]

well, everything is going pretty well now. we still talk, and go out once in a while. now the problem is, how to not get into the friend zone? because IMO it won't be right to do flirt, kino, etc. anymore since she have a bf. i'm thinking of telling her: "in your opinion, is it okay that we still see each other? yeah, we only go out 'as friends'. but i don't want to see you as 'just a friend'"

 

[TheHumanist]

You know this is a very interesting thread to say at least, showing being the Nice Guy actually won out against a guy who follow some DJ techniques. It might be even arguable that by not showing enough "sweetness" and "romanticism" might even been the achiles's heel.

Though by the information this site says, the girl should spit him out very soon as he seem to be following the very epitome of AFCism and the other is following DJism at about a moderate level.

Either way, it does shows DJ is not 100% foolproof, anyone who read around here enough seem to acknowledge that anyways, but this is an interesting match to watch. I'll going to keep watch on this, though honestly for the final winner I still think fella will win out in the end.

As for the letter writing, I wouldn't have likely done that (or many would around here at least), but sometimes it is ok to do something AFC and sweet, sometimes it is not bad to act a bit sweet or romantic even to one that one do anything much likely, ever heard of stories of other doing that and still get the girl? It is AFC, but it is not always suicide. One AFC move can sometimes be beneficial (doing a ton is always bad). At least I wouldn't say it "mail his balls too" and giving up dignity. BTW where in the bible it says you can't write letters is a big cardinal law rule to follow?

Maybe I'm wrong, I'm just gonna watch, interesting thread.

 

[ryannath]

I'm not sure where in the bible where it says writing a mushy letter like that is a big cardinal law, but it does say in the bible that letter like that are AFC, and not DJ.

 

[Fela Kuti]

I think the key is balance. Whenever you do something romantic/sweet/near-AFC, it's okay as long as you follow it with something DJ-ish. Well, I hope you know what I mean.