There is this girl at work, we get hired at the same time, so we had some rapport going. She seemed very interested in me, i always catch her staring at me, and i wink at her and stuff, you know the usual stuff, anyways i was planning to ask her for phone #, but then on her lunch her "boyfriend" came in (i was caught off guard lol i had no idea" then apparently he just bought her a sweater and when she came back she was telling me and one other guy how she's getting spoiled by her boyfriend, and how he always buys her stuff... anyways should i still chase her and ask for email or phonu number or just give it up....
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
this girl at work
- Thread starter titoman
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
DonJuanMonk
Master Don Juan
Well, you can always jump off the bridge.
Alphathree
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2005
- Messages
- 404
- Reaction score
- 1
Chase?.. her?
You have much ... to learn... young... jedi..
You have much ... to learn... young... jedi..
DJohnson
Don Juan
FIRST
You work with her, you let her make explicit moves on you, not the other way, unless you want to get punished.
SECOND
You don't chase a girl ever. You become an attracive man, you date other chicks, and then THEY chase you. I know that is hard to get, but yes, get to a certain level in terms of your peronsal growth and attitude and THEY do the chasing.
THIRD
She isn't flirting. Getting a new job is stressful for anyone, especially a girl. Don't read to much into her "staring" and "smiling". Just take it in stride and be cool. Give subtle hints that you are a cool guy who has fun, and has friends, and also dates other women. This is THE workplace plan.
You work with her, you let her make explicit moves on you, not the other way, unless you want to get punished.
SECOND
You don't chase a girl ever. You become an attracive man, you date other chicks, and then THEY chase you. I know that is hard to get, but yes, get to a certain level in terms of your peronsal growth and attitude and THEY do the chasing.
THIRD
She isn't flirting. Getting a new job is stressful for anyone, especially a girl. Don't read to much into her "staring" and "smiling". Just take it in stride and be cool. Give subtle hints that you are a cool guy who has fun, and has friends, and also dates other women. This is THE workplace plan.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
thederekeffect1
Master Don Juan
Excuse me for not laughing.
Here's my input:
First of all, I disagree with DJohnson with one thing. Considering that you both just got hired, and you're both the new people around the working environment, she has no reason to be staring at you. If she were only concentrating on her work, don't you think she'd be watching the more experienced workers?
Give it a few more days. Just to make sure. If you still have a good feeling about this, go ahead and ask her for her phone number OR ask her if she wants to do something after work (If you plan on dating a girl you work with, talk to her enough while you're at work, and things run smoothly you can actually skip the phone number stage at working environments and get that later). There is no harm in asking... You can't get fired for asking for a phone number or if they want to do something after work. But that's about as far as it can go.
Just be warned about the negatives to dating a girl you work with. If things don't run smoothly, it can cause trouble in the working environment that doesn't just effect you. It effects everyone you work with.
Here's my input:
First of all, I disagree with DJohnson with one thing. Considering that you both just got hired, and you're both the new people around the working environment, she has no reason to be staring at you. If she were only concentrating on her work, don't you think she'd be watching the more experienced workers?
Give it a few more days. Just to make sure. If you still have a good feeling about this, go ahead and ask her for her phone number OR ask her if she wants to do something after work (If you plan on dating a girl you work with, talk to her enough while you're at work, and things run smoothly you can actually skip the phone number stage at working environments and get that later). There is no harm in asking... You can't get fired for asking for a phone number or if they want to do something after work. But that's about as far as it can go.
Just be warned about the negatives to dating a girl you work with. If things don't run smoothly, it can cause trouble in the working environment that doesn't just effect you. It effects everyone you work with.