Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

This Corey Wayne guy

AlphaDraconis

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Lol which women? All women? Or just the top 10% selfie hoes you're concerned about?


Given that good income affords men social status and power, yes, females still prefer men with high social status and power, even if they no longer depend on it for physical survival. You might as well start complaining about your tail bone and appendix.

Since we're on an anonymous forum, maybe you can give us some insight into your mentality -- are you considered average looking, ugly, or otherwise challenged in the looks department? No judgement. I think the point is that we're here to give advice and help.
So many guys are so desperate, they’d have sex with roadkill - judging by what I’ve personally observed on FB, dating apps, etc. You see, the majority of guys (the 80 percenters) get brutally frozen out by the Staceys, so they started to lower their standards, until they found that even the average looking girls want Chad. So, they now resort to begging landwhales for a date, but LW’s are so inundated by the normies, their egos have become so swollen they believe they’re the sh1t, thus... Chad only!

As for me... lookswise and so forth. Well, I’m 42 now, so obviously nowhere as good looking as I was in my youth, but I had hair transplant in 2018 because my hairline was receding, so this has knocked years off my appearance. Also gained some stubborn weight as I’ve gotten older... nothing terrible, but very low fat does make face look better.

Regardless, I’ve already told you that I’m not that interested in how hot a lady is, and she doesn’t have to be a 7 or above to catch my interest. YET, wouldn’t it be nice if women had the same views? Unfortunately not. Even the older ones... possibly even more delusional than the landwhales — they’ll seek out toyboy Chads to fool themselves that they’re still young and fertile, but young Chad just uses them as an insurance job if he is ever really drunk / nothing else to smash that night.

P.S. and if you ain’t Chad, you sure as hell better have a big fat bank account so she can tolerate you having access to her body now n then. But she will make you pay for it - literally.
 

B80

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Lol which women? All women? Or just the top 10% selfie hoes you're concerned about?


Given that good income affords men social status and power, yes, females still prefer men with high social status and power, even if they no longer depend on it for physical survival. You might as well start complaining about your tail bone and appendix.

Since we're on an anonymous forum, maybe you can give us some insight into your mentality -- are you considered average looking, ugly, or otherwise challenged in the looks department? No judgement. I think the point is that we're here to give advice and help.
I'm glad you're posting to give a bit more balance. Could become quite depressing for some I imagine otherwise.
 

Georgepithyou

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So many guys are so desperate, they’d have sex with roadkill - judging by what I’ve personally observed on FB, dating apps, etc. You see, the majority of guys (the 80 percenters) get brutally frozen out by the Staceys, so they started to lower their standards, until they found that even the average looking girls want Chad. So, they now resort to begging landwhales for a date, but LW’s are so inundated by the normies, their egos have become so swollen they believe they’re the sh1t, thus... Chad only!
We can already see the effects of this in society, I'm genuinely surprised the incels haven't started a rebellion already.
 

AlphaDraconis

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We can already see the effects of this in society, I'm genuinely surprised the incels haven't started a rebellion already.
We can already see the effects of this in society, I'm genuinely surprised the incels haven't started a rebellion already.
Likely one of, if not, the main reasons MGTOW came into existence. I think this was the incel ‘fvck you!’ to all the Staceys out there, but I don’t think Stacey’s really noticed.
 

rjc149

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I'm glad you're posting to give a bit more balance. Could become quite depressing for some I imagine otherwise.
I'm glad I am. But it's not just balance to make these threads less depressing, it's also highlighting the fact that this type of toxic black pill nihilism is a mindset more than a reality.

Really hot girls are going to prefer dating "Chad" and that's not a fact that has changed in the 30,000 years of human existence, nor does it seem likely to change anytime soon.

It is true that many women these days, especially younger women, have inflated self-regard and assessments of their own SMV. Online dating allows them to get intoxicated on male thirst from men who don't have the confidence to approach in person. We are trending toward a society that gives women awards just for being female.

However, our media-obsessed society also holds women to very, very high standards of physical attractiveness which is a counter-balance to whatever inflated self-perception they may have. As a whole, women are still going to respond more positively to a confident 6 who approaches her in person than a Chad on Tinder who messages her "hey" despite the fact that a 6-7 woman getting hit up by Chad looking for a quick lay may give her a short dopamine spike.

Our media-obsessed society thrives on negativity -- because negativity causes outrage, outrage gets attention, and attention = $$$. Hence, a lot of "red pill" media outlets are extremely focused on women who are sh!tty and outrageous. Because that's what gets the views and likes.

It's kind of a sad state of affairs, but it's not solely because of the hypergamy of women who are elite SMV. It's also how reality is portrayed, and what media gets consumed by guys like this OP. He's clearly spending a lot of time on these incel forums. His world view is shaped by the negativity of the media he consumes. Same with all of us. But we get to choose what consume.
 
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Lookatu

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As for me... lookswise and so forth. Well, I’m 42 now, so obviously nowhere as good looking as I was in my youth, but I had hair transplant in 2018 because my hairline was receding, so this has knocked years off my appearance. Also gained some stubborn weight as I’ve gotten older... nothing terrible, but very low fat does make face look better.

Regardless, I’ve already told you that I’m not that interested in how hot a lady is, and she doesn’t have to be a 7 or above to catch my interest.
Ok now it's starting to make sense. To me it sounds like you've given up or put way too much generalizations or have limiting beliefs.

Let me ask you how many dates you've had in 2020 and when was your last date? When was the last time you got laid?

Are you working out or improving yourself to become more marketable? You indicated you gained some stubborn weight. Are you doing anything about it?

Are you actually able to attract high quality girls? Or are you a magnet for low quality ones? In my experience, high quality girls don't always fit into your perceptions of women. There are good ones out there.

Based on your beliefs and biases, do you think you can actually go out with a girl and have a neutral opinion about her until you get to know her? Or do you think you will always be self sabotaging yourself with your beliefs?

As they say, less talking and more doing...

I'm not here to bash you but to try to understand you and where you're coming from or where you're at this moment in your life.

SS is about growing, expanding your mind, improving, opening your eyes. But you ultimately control that.
 

rjc149

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So many guys are so desperate, they’d have sex with roadkill - judging by what I’ve personally observed on FB, dating apps, etc. You see, the majority of guys (the 80 percenters) get brutally frozen out by the Staceys, so they started to lower their standards, until they found that even the average looking girls want Chad. So, they now resort to begging landwhales for a date, but LW’s are so inundated by the normies, their egos have become so swollen they believe they’re the sh1t, thus... Chad only!

As for me... lookswise and so forth. Well, I’m 42 now, so obviously nowhere as good looking as I was in my youth, but I had hair transplant in 2018 because my hairline was receding, so this has knocked years off my appearance. Also gained some stubborn weight as I’ve gotten older... nothing terrible, but very low fat does make face look better.

Regardless, I’ve already told you that I’m not that interested in how hot a lady is, and she doesn’t have to be a 7 or above to catch my interest. YET, wouldn’t it be nice if women had the same views? Unfortunately not. Even the older ones... possibly even more delusional than the landwhales — they’ll seek out toyboy Chads to fool themselves that they’re still young and fertile, but young Chad just uses them as an insurance job if he is ever really drunk / nothing else to smash that night.

P.S. and if you ain’t Chad, you sure as hell better have a big fat bank account so she can tolerate you having access to her body now n then. But she will make you pay for it - literally.
Okay, thanks for the insight. You make more sense now. I don't need to point how just how bitter, self-deprecating, and resigned this attitude is, I think it's self-evident.

Yes the harsh reality is that as a middle-aged man, you are expected to have achieved some status in life -- usually by means of wealth or some other form of prestige. If you have not achieved this, you are a less appealing prospect to single women of any age, any SMV tranche.

At your age, it's not really appropriate to have adopted and internalized the mindset of an incel a decade or two younger than you. It's extremely toxic and destructive, and it's also totally optional.

One thing the red pill gets right: romantic love is conditional. The red pill cries out in indignation and outrage at this timeless fact of human biology -- a woman with options will not become attracted to you for the wonderful, cool person you are if you don't pass the initial screening she will have. Financial stability. Status. Health. Social fluency. Much like you will not fall in love with a woman with a really cool, sweet, caring personality if she's 300 lbs. See? It's all conditional.

Work on satisfying some basic conditions for the women you are pursuing. Focus on cardio and lose that chub. Get jacked. Get a hair transplant or shave it off and own it. Create forms of passive income. Spend your time learning about interesting things, not learning the incel lingo.

Don't take this as a personal attack -- a 42-year old man bitter that hot 20-something "Stacey" passes him over for 20-something "Chad" is pathetic and a refusal to accept reality with grace. Very immature.
 

AlphaDraconis

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I'm glad I am. But it's not just balance to make these threads less depressing, it's also highlighting the fact that this type of toxic black pill nihilism is a mindset more than a reality.

Really hot girls are going to prefer dating "Chad" and that's not a fact that has changed in the 30,000 years of human existence, nor does it seem likely to change anytime soon.

It is true that many women these days, especially younger women, have inflated self-regard and assessments of their own SMV. Online dating allows them to get intoxicated on male thirst from men who don't have the confidence to approach in person. We are trending toward a society that gives women awards just for being female.

However, our media-obsessed society also holds women to very, very high standards of physical attractiveness which is a counter-balance to whatever inflated self-perception they may have. As a whole, women are still going to respond more positively to a confident 6 who approaches her in person than a Chad on Tinder who messages her "hey" despite the fact that a 6-7 woman getting hit up by Chad looking for a quick lay may give her a short dopamine spike.

Our media-obsessed society thrives on negativity -- because negativity causes outrage, outrage gets attention, and attention = $$$. Hence, a lot of "red pill" media outlets are extremely focused on women who are sh!tty and outrageous. Because that's what gets the views and likes.

It's kind of a sad state of affairs, but it's not solely because of the hypergamy of women who are elite SMV. It's also how reality is portrayed, and what media gets consumed by guys like this OP. He's clearly spending a lot of time on these incel forums. His world view is shaped by the negativity of the media he consumes. Same with all of us. But we get to choose what consume.
Yeh, but why are you on forums like this + holding the likes of Corey Wayne in such high regard if you’re having no issues attracting women?

Why is it, that only over the past 10 to 15years that I and countless other guys (let’s say the entire MGTOW / PUA community) have observed changes in female attitudes towards dating? Could that, perhaps, have something to do with the rise of social media (namely Facebook)?

These changes, or rather problems, are precisely why so many guys are turning to these forums, dating coaches for help because social media + financial independence allows women to become hyper selective.
 

rjc149

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Yeh, but why are you on forums like this + holding the likes of Corey Wayne in such high regard if you’re having no issues attracting women?

Why is it, that only over the past 10 to 15years that I and countless other guys (let’s say the entire MGTOW / PUA community) have observed changes in female attitudes towards dating? Could that, perhaps, have something to do with the rise of social media (namely Facebook)?

These changes, or rather problems, are precisely why so many guys are turning to these forums, dating coaches for help because social media + financial independence allows women to become hyper selective.
Men are also turning to these forums because they've come into existence -- I don't think that's a shift in attitudes and belief systems about dating. It's a shift in the availability of information and forums where one can state controversial opinions in relative anonymity, without fear of social repercussion.

While you and the manosphere may have observed changes in female attitudes and increased mating selectivity, I continue to observe, on a multiple-per-day basis, fairly average dudes with passable female partners. Holding hands, eating at restaurants, pushing strollers, together. I'm convinced that for every man in the world, there's a right woman. It's just a matter of how selective you are being.

I'm convinced that because we live in a society that is simply fukking obsessed with beauty, everyone, you and women young and old, has trouble accepting the reality that in order to have a partner, their standards need to be lowered from the perfection that is being portrayed as "desirable." People don't want to play in their leagues anymore, and when they must in order to have a partner, they resent it. They resent their partner, resent society, resent themselves. Because they aren't as desirable as -- whatever the fukk. So they have to "settle."

It's not that I hold CW in such high regard. The better question is -- why do you hold him in such low regard? Why is the advice and guidance of a bitter, insecure alpha male poser, who's "built an online business" more valuable? Because you relate to his misogynistic world view?
 
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Lookatu

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I'm convinced that because we live in a society that is simply fukking obsessed with beauty, everyone, you and women young and old, has trouble accepting the reality that in order to have a partner, their standards need to be lowered from the perfection that is being portrayed as "desirable." People don't want to play in their leagues anymore, and when they must in order to have a partner, they resent it. They resent their partner, resent society, resent themselves. Because they aren't as desirable as -- whatever the fukk.
This is pretty much it right here. ^^^

But OP, back to your question. For me specifically, I've been married and together with my girl for over 15 years. A lot of things have happened over 15 years and I wanted to better educate myself in the way society and male/female dynamics have changed over the years when I was free to date again. This was the reason why I started reading articles and forums. That's how I ended up here. I wanted to understand what was going on and how to improve my situation.

Was it a rude awakening? Hell yes.

Was I initially frustrated and dissappointed? You bet cha.

Did I initially have low success with women after getting back into the dating world? Hell yeah

Was I willing to quit? Hell no. When I was younger, I did a clutch job from hell where it took me 12 hours to do a clutch job due to various issues. That moment was what defined my "never give up" attitude and outlook. Some guys simply don't have this and unfortunately there's nothing I(we) can do about it.

Was I willing to listen, observe, expand my mindset even at my old(er) age? Hell yes

Do I think I know a lot now? Some but I'm always still a student of life and try to observe the world with an objective lense.

You can either:
play their game
play your own
pack up and give up

Those are your three options.

As the famous Dr. Seuss quote — 'When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let is destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.'
 

AlphaDraconis

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Okay, thanks for the insight. You make more sense now. I don't need to point how just how bitter, self-deprecating, and resigned this attitude is, I think it's self-evident.

Yes the harsh reality is that as a middle-aged man, you are expected to have achieved some status in life -- usually by means of wealth or some other form of prestige. If you have not achieved this, you are a less appealing prospect to single women of any age, any SMV tranche.

At your age, it's not really appropriate to have adopted and internalized the mindset of an incel a decade or two younger than you. It's extremely toxic and destructive, and it's also totally optional.

One thing the red pill gets right: romantic love is conditional. The red pill cries out in indignation and outrage at this timeless fact of human biology -- a woman with options will not become attracted to you for the wonderful, cool person you are if you don't pass the initial screening she will have. Financial stability. Status. Health. Social fluency. Much like you will not fall in love with a woman with a really cool, sweet, caring personality if she's 300 lbs. See? It's all conditional.

Work on satisfying some basic conditions for the women you are pursuing. Focus on cardio and lose that chub. Get jacked. Get a hair transplant or shave it off and own it. Create forms of passive income. Spend your time learning about interesting things, not learning the incel lingo.

Don't take this as a personal attack -- a 42-year old man bitter that hot 20-something "Stacey" passes him over for 20-something "Chad" is pathetic and a refusal to accept reality with grace. Very immature.
TBF I’m fairly happy being single, but it would have been nice to have found a compatible partner who I could have eventually started a family with.

I’d like to add, I got my sh1t together at the age of 34, after many years of crippling depression. I just took a minimum wage job while also studying hard for a job I really wanted. During that time, I got talking to several women on dating sites, and once it came to the financial side of things, I was dropped like a hot rock, despite explaining that I’m studying for a better job. They didn’t give a fvck about pulling myself out of a ditch, and trying to better myself, they just wanted me to be established there n then.

Fast forward a few years on, I landed the job I wanted, and if I reveal to them what I now do and what I’m now earning, I’ll certainly keep their attention. But that’s my peeve — why the fvck should I bury my head in the sand, and pretend that women actually care? Their affection for you runs concurrent with your financial situation. You lose your ability to earn (or earn more), their interest in you wanes until: 1. You get your sh1t together (But the clock is certainly ticking) 2. They monkey branch to another sucker provider, and move in like you didn’t exist.

It’s true, women don’t give a damn about your struggles, they just hang out at the finish line and pick the winners.

What sane man really wants any of that?

To add: I had hair transplant in 2018, it was great success, and yeh, I’ve started working out again, but, if a chick was slightly overweight, it wouldn’t bother me. And to once again reiterate: I’m not interested in a 20 year old Stacey.
 

AlphaDraconis

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This is pretty much it right here. ^^^

But OP, back to your question. For me specifically, I've been married and together with my girl for over 15 years. A lot of things have happened over 15 years and I wanted to better educate myself in the way society and male/female dynamics have changed over the years when I was free to date again. This was the reason why I started reading articles and forums. That's how I ended up here. I wanted to understand what was going on and how to improve my situation.

Was it a rude awakening? Hell yes.

Was I initially frustrated and dissappointed? You bet cha.

Did I initially have low success with women after getting back into the dating world? Hell yeah

Was I willing to quit? Hell no. When I was younger, I did a clutch job from hell where it took me 12 hours to do a clutch job due to various issues. That moment was what defined my "never give up" attitude and outlook. Some guys simply don't have this and unfortunately there's nothing I(we) can do about it.

Was I willing to listen, observe, expand my mindset even at my old(er) age? Hell yes

Do I think I know a lot now? Some but I'm always still a student of life and try to observe the world with an objective lense.

You can either:
play their game
play your own
pack up and give up

Those are your three options.

As the famous Dr. Seuss quote — 'When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let is destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.'
I feel like this guy’s views hit the mark:

 

Lookatu

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TBF I’m fairly happy being single, but it would have been nice to have found a compatible partner who I could have eventually started a family with.

During that time, I got talking to several women on dating sites, and once it came to the financial side of things, I was dropped like a hot rock, despite explaining that I’m studying for a better job.

It’s true, women don’t give a damn about your struggles, they just hang out at the finish line and pick the winners.
It sounds like your limiting beliefs and previous bad experiences is also limiting your pool of quality women. Once you change this thinking, you will start attracting the right kind of gals. Maybe you are generating too much negative energy and high quality women are picking up on that.

I met my wife when I was unemployed. I also drove a crappy car. I at least knew we would never get divorced over financial reasons.
She also stuck with me through 2 layoffs.
I just wanted to throw that out from the other side of the pond.

You seem to have a lot of bitterness based on your experiences. Unless you change that, you will keep attracting the same low quality girls and stay in a rut.

You've already improved your hair and started working out again which is a good start. I'd suggest improving your mindset and inner self next.
 

AlphaDraconis

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It sounds like your limiting beliefs and previous bad experiences is also limiting your pool of quality women. Once you change this thinking, you will start attracting the right kind of gals. Maybe you are generating too much negative energy and high quality women are picking up on that.

I met my wife when I was unemployed. I also drove a crappy car. I at least knew we would never get divorced over financial reasons.
She also stuck with me through 2 layoffs.
I just wanted to throw that out from the other side of the pond.

You seem to have a lot of bitterness based on your experiences. Unless you change that, you will keep attracting the same low quality girls and stay in a rut.

You've already improved your hair and started working out again which is a good start. I'd suggest improving your mindset and inner self next.
So, supposing this isn’t anecdote, and you’re telling the truth... where do you find a quality woman?

BTW my interactions with women have always been respectful... not fake mr nice guy, nor misogynistic a-hole (despite me having a particular perception, I do give people a chance).
 

rjc149

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I got my sh1t together at the age of 34, after many years of crippling depression.
This sheds a lot of light on things. You suffer(ed) from a clinical mental illness. You need to be aware how this affects your worldview.

Maybe you are generating too much negative energy and high quality women are picking up on that.
^^^ and not just high quality women. Women in general. They can smell insecurity and low confidence like a shark can smell a drop of blood from a thousand miles away. They pick up on it better than we can. It's a biological sixth sense they have to screen for weak males.

What I'm reading is a refusal to take complete ownership for yourself. You blame women, blame social media, blame yourself. You consume way too much of the red pill stuff to the point where it's poisonous. I'm not saying the red pill is poison -- the poison is in the dose. You're ODing on this sh!t dude.

Here's a healthy way of framing your situation.

"I suffered from mental illness throughout my life, and finally managed to get it handled at 34. I realize that I must have put a lot of people off, including women, with my negativity. I can't blame them. I wouldn't have wanted to be around me either.

Once I had my illness under control, I began grinding on a career path that I wanted. I met a few women online, nothing came of those dates. I'm sure I wasn't acting as confidently and attractively as I could have. I was just getting out a decades-long funk and my game wasn't exactly A-level. Regardless, I let those few failed dates discourage me from approaching more women -- online, and in person -- because it depressed me. I felt defeated. I tried ignoring the nagging voice that the only reason women were turned off was because I didn't yet have a secure career, but I let it get the better of me.

However, now I have the job I was after. My confidence shot up, my happiness shot up, and women have definitely picked up on that. I realize that all my bitterness and frustration at women wasn't their fault -- it was mine. I also got a hair transplant which worked out, and I'm now on a dedicated exercise regimen to get into the best shape of my life. Maybe I won't settle down and marry, maybe I will, who knows. If that right woman comes along, I'd like to. It would be nice. But for now, I'm living life for me."

Take responsibility for your life. That means taking responsibility for your attitude. It's a choice.
 

AlphaDraconis

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This sheds a lot of light on things. You suffer(ed) from a clinical mental illness. You need to be aware how this affects your worldview.


^^^ and not just high quality women. Women in general. They can smell insecurity and low confidence like a shark can smell a drop of blood from a thousand miles away. They pick up on it better than we can. It's a biological sixth sense they have to screen for weak males.

What I'm reading is a refusal to take complete ownership for yourself. You blame women, blame social media, blame yourself. You consume way too much of the red pill stuff to the point where it's poisonous. I'm not saying the red pill is poison -- the poison is in the dose. You're ODing on this sh!t dude.

Here's a healthy way of framing your situation.

"I suffered from mental illness throughout my life, and finally managed to get it handled at 34. I realize that I must have put a lot of people off, including women, with my negativity. I can't blame them. I wouldn't have wanted to be around me either.

Once I had my illness under control, I began grinding on a career path that I wanted. I met a few women online, nothing came of those dates. I'm sure I wasn't acting as confidently and attractively as I could have. I was just getting out a decades-long funk and my game wasn't exactly A-level. Regardless, I let those few failed dates discourage me from approaching more women -- online, and in person -- because it depressed me. I felt defeated. I tried ignoring the nagging voice that the only reason women were turned off was because I didn't yet have a secure career, but I let it get the better of me.

However, now I have the job I was after. My confidence shot up, my happiness shot up, and women have definitely picked up on that. I realize that all my bitterness and frustration at women wasn't their fault -- it was mine. I also got a hair transplant which worked out, and I'm now on a dedicated exercise regimen to get into the best shape of my life. Maybe I won't settle down and marry, maybe I will, who knows. If that right woman comes along, I'd like to. It would be nice. But for now, I'm living life for me."

Take responsibility for your life. That means taking responsibility for your attitude. It's a choice.
Well, that’s your opinion, but what about the MGTOW / PUA manosphere? Are all of those guys suffering depression and, consequently, suffering from similarly “skewed“ perceptions? Or are they just not sugar coating sh1t and seeing female nature precisely for what it is?

I don’t know how my (and the consensus) POV can be disputed TBH — women want a good looking guy, and if he doesn’t have the looks, a very high income will surely suffice.

You said it yourself - a guy of my age needs to be financially established if any woman of any SMV were to be interested, meaning, without the big bux, I have no worth.

Sorry, man, but that’s not the kind of woman I want (nor any self respecting guy). It should be about supporting one another through times of hardship - not bailing as soon as the money starts getting tight. I want return on investment, and I don’t mean her feeling obliged to spread her legs every night.

And, that’s my entire point about how the dating game has changed so drastically over the past 15 years — one time a day women duked it out and stood by their man if times got tough; now it’s moonlight flit and monkey branching to one of their countless back up d1cks aka social media orbiters. Because... it’s never before been so easy for a woman to jump ship.
 

rjc149

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Well, that’s your opinion, but what about the MGTOW / PUA manosphere? Are all of those guys suffering depression and, consequently, suffering from similarly “skewed“ perceptions?
Yes, they are.

But I’m getting the sense that you’re now low-key trolling and fishing for sympathy, so I’ll leave it at this:

The people in this world do not a fvck about your challenges and struggles. Least of all any potential dating prospects— you’re absolutely right, they’re at the finish line waiting for the winners. Everyone is living their own lives. No one feels sorry for you. You only feel sorry for yourself. You can go about in self pity and seek consolation for being a victim, or, you can take action to improve your situation like a man.

Good luck brother.
 
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