"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Third date flake or just bad timing?

Tomo

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Date 1: Kissed closed. Kept telling me how much fun she had and how she owed me a date next.

Date 2: Ended after 6 hours of escalation making out whenever possible. Culminated on a dark hill lying and wrapped around each other as I kissed her on spots of her body that made her gasp.

Date 3 suggested: Popped by hers on my way home from a function. In between the kissing, I suggested we head to mine night after for a movie and study (we'd been thinking about doing this for a while). She instantly said yes. Got to admit, she always seems dazed around me/ continually blushing even though I've now known her for a while.

Get home and she has sent me two apologetic messages saying she forgot she has dinner with a friend that night she forgot about. We've reorganized to instead go to hers on another day. So was this simply coincidence/ bad timing or a purposeful flake? At the same time, now that we've reorganised, is it best I go no contact to her until I next see her?

I get the feeling she really really likes me but I could be wrong. Have called up an alternative plate now to fill that time slot :D Thank god for SS teaching me such life skills otherwise I'd be wallowing in oneitis right now.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Cremasta

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Yep, she likes you a lot.

You put the moves on and she forgot that she had something in her diary... she probably forgot she even had a diary for a while there :)

As for the no-contact, that depends on how far away your next meetup is. If it's in a couple of days time, then don't bother contacting her. If it's more than 4-5 days, then a quick text at some point to say hi isn't going to hurt you.
 

Mr Wright

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There are no real rules. She obviously really likes you, if you start playing her and going no contact it wont make her like you more, it'll just make her think you're a d!ck. Sometimes you really do have to go to dinner with a friend etc, it's happened to all of us but if shes offering up alternatives, you're still in.
 

Tomo

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Thanks guys, honestly had I not stumbled across this site and gained the advice and wisdom of you lot, I am not sure how I'd have managed. Yeah the reason I don't want to message her is it's how I've been. I'll send a couple every few days to check up on her but rather leave the bond building part to actually seeing her in person. The added benefit is I think it makes her want me more rather than have an AFC bombard her with messages all day.

On a side note, I ended up organising something with a HB the day before. The problem is she is at the same College we are (same course). In a sense she is my 'back up' as bad as that sounds so does this mean I am leading her on? Or if I keep things platonic between us then there is no problem for me to 'hangout' with a female friend right?
 

Mr Wright

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Yeah but you dont know how things might turn out with the other chick. If an ex-boyfriend who shes still in love with turns up, you're getting chucked to the curb. Have back ups and back up you back ups...as long as they dont think you're exclusive with any of them it's all good.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Dhoulmagus

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Why didnt she come over after dinner at her friends?
 
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