"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Third date flake or just bad timing?

Tomo

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Date 1: Kissed closed. Kept telling me how much fun she had and how she owed me a date next.

Date 2: Ended after 6 hours of escalation making out whenever possible. Culminated on a dark hill lying and wrapped around each other as I kissed her on spots of her body that made her gasp.

Date 3 suggested: Popped by hers on my way home from a function. In between the kissing, I suggested we head to mine night after for a movie and study (we'd been thinking about doing this for a while). She instantly said yes. Got to admit, she always seems dazed around me/ continually blushing even though I've now known her for a while.

Get home and she has sent me two apologetic messages saying she forgot she has dinner with a friend that night she forgot about. We've reorganized to instead go to hers on another day. So was this simply coincidence/ bad timing or a purposeful flake? At the same time, now that we've reorganised, is it best I go no contact to her until I next see her?

I get the feeling she really really likes me but I could be wrong. Have called up an alternative plate now to fill that time slot :D Thank god for SS teaching me such life skills otherwise I'd be wallowing in oneitis right now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Cremasta

Master Don Juan
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Yep, she likes you a lot.

You put the moves on and she forgot that she had something in her diary... she probably forgot she even had a diary for a while there :)

As for the no-contact, that depends on how far away your next meetup is. If it's in a couple of days time, then don't bother contacting her. If it's more than 4-5 days, then a quick text at some point to say hi isn't going to hurt you.
 

Mr Wright

Master Don Juan
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There are no real rules. She obviously really likes you, if you start playing her and going no contact it wont make her like you more, it'll just make her think you're a d!ck. Sometimes you really do have to go to dinner with a friend etc, it's happened to all of us but if shes offering up alternatives, you're still in.
 

Tomo

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Thanks guys, honestly had I not stumbled across this site and gained the advice and wisdom of you lot, I am not sure how I'd have managed. Yeah the reason I don't want to message her is it's how I've been. I'll send a couple every few days to check up on her but rather leave the bond building part to actually seeing her in person. The added benefit is I think it makes her want me more rather than have an AFC bombard her with messages all day.

On a side note, I ended up organising something with a HB the day before. The problem is she is at the same College we are (same course). In a sense she is my 'back up' as bad as that sounds so does this mean I am leading her on? Or if I keep things platonic between us then there is no problem for me to 'hangout' with a female friend right?
 

Mr Wright

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Yeah but you dont know how things might turn out with the other chick. If an ex-boyfriend who shes still in love with turns up, you're getting chucked to the curb. Have back ups and back up you back ups...as long as they dont think you're exclusive with any of them it's all good.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Dhoulmagus

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Why didnt she come over after dinner at her friends?
 
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