"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Third date flake or just bad timing?

T

Tomo

Senior Don Juan
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Date 1: Kissed closed. Kept telling me how much fun she had and how she owed me a date next.

Date 2: Ended after 6 hours of escalation making out whenever possible. Culminated on a dark hill lying and wrapped around each other as I kissed her on spots of her body that made her gasp.

Date 3 suggested: Popped by hers on my way home from a function. In between the kissing, I suggested we head to mine night after for a movie and study (we'd been thinking about doing this for a while). She instantly said yes. Got to admit, she always seems dazed around me/ continually blushing even though I've now known her for a while.

Get home and she has sent me two apologetic messages saying she forgot she has dinner with a friend that night she forgot about. We've reorganized to instead go to hers on another day. So was this simply coincidence/ bad timing or a purposeful flake? At the same time, now that we've reorganised, is it best I go no contact to her until I next see her?

I get the feeling she really really likes me but I could be wrong. Have called up an alternative plate now to fill that time slot :D Thank god for SS teaching me such life skills otherwise I'd be wallowing in oneitis right now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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C

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
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Yep, she likes you a lot.

You put the moves on and she forgot that she had something in her diary... she probably forgot she even had a diary for a while there :)

As for the no-contact, that depends on how far away your next meetup is. If it's in a couple of days time, then don't bother contacting her. If it's more than 4-5 days, then a quick text at some point to say hi isn't going to hurt you.
 
Mr Wright

Mr Wright

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There are no real rules. She obviously really likes you, if you start playing her and going no contact it wont make her like you more, it'll just make her think you're a d!ck. Sometimes you really do have to go to dinner with a friend etc, it's happened to all of us but if shes offering up alternatives, you're still in.
 
T

Tomo

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Thanks guys, honestly had I not stumbled across this site and gained the advice and wisdom of you lot, I am not sure how I'd have managed. Yeah the reason I don't want to message her is it's how I've been. I'll send a couple every few days to check up on her but rather leave the bond building part to actually seeing her in person. The added benefit is I think it makes her want me more rather than have an AFC bombard her with messages all day.

On a side note, I ended up organising something with a HB the day before. The problem is she is at the same College we are (same course). In a sense she is my 'back up' as bad as that sounds so does this mean I am leading her on? Or if I keep things platonic between us then there is no problem for me to 'hangout' with a female friend right?
 
Mr Wright

Mr Wright

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Yeah but you dont know how things might turn out with the other chick. If an ex-boyfriend who shes still in love with turns up, you're getting chucked to the curb. Have back ups and back up you back ups...as long as they dont think you're exclusive with any of them it's all good.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Dhoulmagus

Dhoulmagus

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Why didnt she come over after dinner at her friends?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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