"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Thinking too much?

drmeathead

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I recently added this girl that I used to talk to a little and went out with once or two on to facebook. I sent her a message saying lets get together for a drink to catch up. She responded like 5 days later to say she would love to. I saw her on AIM yesterday. I messaged her and got her number. Not a long talk. She did mention she comes to my part of the city alot. She also asked for mine. Talk to you soons and blah blah. I am of course going to wait till Sunday to call. My question is this...She told me she is really busy with work. Obviously she doesnt get a Saturday night or a Friday night normally but a professional woman may not have time during the week. I certainly dont have time to go meet her during the week in between patients. Exception here or am I getting way too caught up in following a formula and should just wing it when I call to set things up.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mind_Body_Soul

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When you call her just find out what days work for her. Compare that to what days work for you. Pick one that works for both of you. If she has enough IL she'll make time for you. Otherwise, NEXT.
 

MacAvoy

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The 3 day rule is intended for newby's that have too much time on their hands. If your genuinely busy, call her and set something up. Chances are, it will be enough of a chore to get something set up, so don't bother waiting. Just tell her your busy and its got to be such and such a time sort of thing.
 

drmeathead

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Yeah I just looked at her profile and and it now says she is in a relationship. I think she just got moved to ONS status. F the 5 day rule. She will now get treated like a hook up.
 

DJDamage

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drmeathead said:
Yeah I just looked at her profile and and it now says she is in a relationship. I think she just got moved to ONS status.
I don't think you will get neither.

Think about it, its facebook - why would she all of the sudden advertise she is in a relationship?? Its an easy way to get rid of a guy who she doesn't want to see on a romantic level. In all likelyhood you are going to go for a drink and have fun but get a peck on the cheek for your trouble.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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drmeathead

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Yeah it makes no sense. It wasnt congrutent to anything during our conversation. Why not just say I have a boyfriend or somethnig about the boyfriend? Whatever boyfriends have not stopped me before.
 

jophil28

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Hello Doc, you have not even gotten to having a cup of tea with this "professional woman " and already you are in confusion.
She is one of those femmes who deliberately transmit contradictory and incongruent information about themselves. IT appears that they think this is "clever".( MOre Cosmo crap ?) They seem to believe that this creates intrigue and spark interest in men. How dumb is that ? It is more likely to piss real men off totally . Our brains seek clarity.l
My guess is that she is just an "attention ho" or that she is wiilling to cheat on her relationship in some cheap motel because it "feels so romantic" .
Why would we even spend out valuable time and open up someone who is a teenage ho in an adult body with a diploma.

Go there at your own risk.
 

drmeathead

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I am not looking for anything serious. My last relationship was with a girl that BPD and that drained me. As the song says, "she may not be miss right but shell do right now"
 

drmeathead

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Yeah thats why I love still being school. College girls are easy
 

drmeathead

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so i ran into this girl randomly last night. she came over and said hi and was very friendly. then introed me to her bf. i was polite and said hello to him and his firend. then she tells me when he is out of earshot to give her a call and we would catch up when it was less crowded.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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drmeathead

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so i called her sunday, two days after seeing her in the bar. she didnt pick up. i left a message saying i would call some other time.
 

realsmoothie

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well, she wanted you to call her. She knows you called. Give her a little time, go goof around with other girls, maybe in a couple of weeks, even months, she'll think about you and call.

no stress
 

drmeathead

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i agree. the thing i learned about picking up an involved girl is not to call. they will call you when they can. it keeps thing sdiscrete
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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DJDamage said:
I don't think you will get neither.

Think about it, its facebook - why would she all of the sudden advertise she is in a relationship?? Its an easy way to get rid of a guy who she doesn't want to see on a romantic level. In all likelyhood you are going to go for a drink and have fun but get a peck on the cheek for your trouble.
It just like MySpace, primarily used for social promotion and not much else.
 

squirrels

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If she's not willing to make time to spend time with you, then it's not your job to go prancing around her schedule trying to steal 3 minutes of her time. You're ascribing her way too much value in this equation. You hardly KNOW her.

Date your other women who DO have time. If you're gonna be free and think she might be too, call her up and offer to take her on a date. If she can't because of a schedule conflict, this is HER issue, not yours.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Wyldfire

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It sounds like you both have pretty demanding work schedules, so it's probably not wise to try to follow and of the "timing" guidelines here. Those are just guides for nervous guys who tend to get too pushy and needy. You already know this woman, so she already has a decent impression of you, otherwise she would not show any interest at all. If there is a time that works for both of you then just go with it and don't worry about any guidelines here that apply to getting the first date...they really don't apply or matter in your situation.

on edit...
Nevermind...I just read she has a boyfriend...if she'd get together with you while she has a b/f she'd do the same to you...don't waste your time.
 

drmeathead

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i sent her a text saying such and such a day at such and such a time this week. she texted me back saying she has to check her schedule at work tomorrow but it should work.

i know what you guys said about the bf and she will do that to me. i am not looking for anything more than a **** buddy or a hookup. we will see. she is simply a plate to spin.
 
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