"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Thinking every girl is the same as the last

ArmyStrong90

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A girl once told me that I should NEVER see a new girl I am talking to as the last one that either played games/hurt or friendzoned me (I do that a lot which explains my "luck" with girls) Every new girl is different but the flaw in her advice is that there are commonalities among women that make them what they are.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Thorninmyside

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I guess on a healthy level, it's a good thing not to go into a new thing with anger, resentment, disdain from whatever's gone down in the past because that colours your experience with a new girl, but absolutely there are behavioral patterns that occur and it's in your best interest to take note and react accordingly.

Never take advice about girls from girls. You can start off each new girl with a blank slate, but she's a moron if she thinks every girl comes with a completely different set of rules and conditions as the rest. Women like to think they're deeper and more complicated than they really are. Some are even offended by the fact that we can note how certain things will play out based on our experiences.
 

Trump

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A girl once told me that I should NEVER see a new girl I am talking to as the last one that either played games/hurt or friendzoned me
Translation: Don't think we are all the same, it will
give me less chance to screw you, or the next guy I'm with, over.

Of course she is going to say that, women are opportunists. You start protecting yourself and assets, it will give them less of a opportunity to get what they want from you. o_O
 

ubercat

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Ok well mystery was a bit of a nut job, but just look at all the hate the mainstream media pours on those guys. Because they are pushing the myth that every woman is a rare and special creature. Every woman is a person too and like all people they can develop. However they all come with hamster programming and the hamster can't be reasoned with only managed
 

resilient

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The other flipside to this thinking is "this time it's going to be different."

If the DJ did some introspection after the breakup or dropped plate, worked on his SMV like a warrior, she'll be different. Remember, a woman wants to follow the man's lead naturally. If he grows and learns from his mistakes, the type of women he attracts will be different and theoretically a better match for the DJ's maturity level.

If he didn't grow or learn anything... the inner-child wound will re-emerge in attracting a new partner with similar traits of an ex. WATCH OUT FOR THIS. This lands him back in the chair of "same".

A lot of this "same" mentality is projection too. We try to guard and mask our insecurities, yet if they aren't constructively dealt with, they'll come out anyway.
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ubercat

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Hmm I don't think you guys need to be as warrior as you believe. Everybody has insecurities. A good woman will accept you being down that's life. As long as you have your peaks too and she can see that you're a problem solver. Maintaining a relationship is not all about frame and dominance. Romance pampering and doing things together have their place. I think self-reliance however is an absolute must. She's got to know you would be fine without her.
 
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