"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Thinking every girl is the same as the last

ArmyStrong90

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A girl once told me that I should NEVER see a new girl I am talking to as the last one that either played games/hurt or friendzoned me (I do that a lot which explains my "luck" with girls) Every new girl is different but the flaw in her advice is that there are commonalities among women that make them what they are.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Thorninmyside

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I guess on a healthy level, it's a good thing not to go into a new thing with anger, resentment, disdain from whatever's gone down in the past because that colours your experience with a new girl, but absolutely there are behavioral patterns that occur and it's in your best interest to take note and react accordingly.

Never take advice about girls from girls. You can start off each new girl with a blank slate, but she's a moron if she thinks every girl comes with a completely different set of rules and conditions as the rest. Women like to think they're deeper and more complicated than they really are. Some are even offended by the fact that we can note how certain things will play out based on our experiences.
 

Trump

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A girl once told me that I should NEVER see a new girl I am talking to as the last one that either played games/hurt or friendzoned me
Translation: Don't think we are all the same, it will
give me less chance to screw you, or the next guy I'm with, over.

Of course she is going to say that, women are opportunists. You start protecting yourself and assets, it will give them less of a opportunity to get what they want from you. o_O
 

ubercat

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Ok well mystery was a bit of a nut job, but just look at all the hate the mainstream media pours on those guys. Because they are pushing the myth that every woman is a rare and special creature. Every woman is a person too and like all people they can develop. However they all come with hamster programming and the hamster can't be reasoned with only managed
 

resilient

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The other flipside to this thinking is "this time it's going to be different."

If the DJ did some introspection after the breakup or dropped plate, worked on his SMV like a warrior, she'll be different. Remember, a woman wants to follow the man's lead naturally. If he grows and learns from his mistakes, the type of women he attracts will be different and theoretically a better match for the DJ's maturity level.

If he didn't grow or learn anything... the inner-child wound will re-emerge in attracting a new partner with similar traits of an ex. WATCH OUT FOR THIS. This lands him back in the chair of "same".

A lot of this "same" mentality is projection too. We try to guard and mask our insecurities, yet if they aren't constructively dealt with, they'll come out anyway.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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ubercat

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Hmm I don't think you guys need to be as warrior as you believe. Everybody has insecurities. A good woman will accept you being down that's life. As long as you have your peaks too and she can see that you're a problem solver. Maintaining a relationship is not all about frame and dominance. Romance pampering and doing things together have their place. I think self-reliance however is an absolute must. She's got to know you would be fine without her.
 
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