Serenity
Moderator
Heard about swingers? They have an emotional commitment and stick together, but they fuck other people. That community really cares about nobody getting hurt by it. Marriage is more than sex, a lot more I'd say.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Thinking about open relationship with ex
- Thread starter narcissist
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I got approached by swingers 2 weeks ago. It was disturbing. The man's hair had turned gray before his time. He was dejected like I've never seen. His woman was super hot, even in her 40's. She forced him to tell me that I could f*ck her if I wanted to. I could see it broke his heart. I couldn't do it.
My last girl had an "open marriage" and was divorced within a year.
Serenity
Moderator
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She was obviously getting off on torturing the guy. For some of them, that's even greater than the sex.
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
it sounds like she either doesn't think you'll seriously be fvcking other women, or that she thinks she'll convince you to close it later if your feelings get stronger. or on the other side, that she has like 3 FWBs on the side already.
tread carefully. the last thing you want is huge amounts of drama and hurt feelings, maybe start off with threesomes or by not giving too much details about the other girls you're banging, ease her into the idea so things don't blow up
tread carefully. the last thing you want is huge amounts of drama and hurt feelings, maybe start off with threesomes or by not giving too much details about the other girls you're banging, ease her into the idea so things don't blow up
Bingo-Player
Master Don Juan
i never thought i would say it but im half considering something similar with mine
she's killed most of the emotions i felt for her with her sh1tty morals, but im still physically attracted to her
she sent me video of her fingering herself last night begging me to meet her for sex - i didnt but she's offered to pay for a hotel for us next weekend just for me to fvck her
i think we need to be fully aware that an "open relationship" with an EX is never going to end well especially if you start feeling for her again
BUT - if you are certain you will never have those feelings for her again due to her actions
i really cant see a problem with using an EX for sex
i know there are guys on the forum that believe you should only be sleeping with women whom are virgins or as good as virgins
the reality is we are in a state of extreme social decay women are wild and lawless
they no longer care for traditional values of marriage children and staying loyal to one man
dating market is treacherous for men and i find myself in a scenario where i could be going 1/2/3/4/5 potentially 6 months without sex whilst i rebuild my plate rotation
do i like it ? fvck no i think its disgusting
but ultimatley i am a 25 year old male , i have sexual needs and its a case of eat or die
i think im going to fvck mine and see how i feel after it
il know after that whether the arrangement with her will be sustainable
she's killed most of the emotions i felt for her with her sh1tty morals, but im still physically attracted to her
she sent me video of her fingering herself last night begging me to meet her for sex - i didnt but she's offered to pay for a hotel for us next weekend just for me to fvck her
i think we need to be fully aware that an "open relationship" with an EX is never going to end well especially if you start feeling for her again
BUT - if you are certain you will never have those feelings for her again due to her actions
i really cant see a problem with using an EX for sex
i know there are guys on the forum that believe you should only be sleeping with women whom are virgins or as good as virgins
the reality is we are in a state of extreme social decay women are wild and lawless
they no longer care for traditional values of marriage children and staying loyal to one man
dating market is treacherous for men and i find myself in a scenario where i could be going 1/2/3/4/5 potentially 6 months without sex whilst i rebuild my plate rotation
do i like it ? fvck no i think its disgusting
but ultimatley i am a 25 year old male , i have sexual needs and its a case of eat or die
i think im going to fvck mine and see how i feel after it
il know after that whether the arrangement with her will be sustainable
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 20, 2014
- Messages
- 2,327
- Reaction score
- 1,419
Exactly this. No such thing as an 'open' relationship. You're either in a relationship or you're not. Otherwise what's the point.
Whatever the 'agreement', I'm pretty such this kind of thing usually gets complicated pretty quickly. She'll cop more and more feels for you and probably get ultra-clingy with it.
By all means bang her and hang out, but avoid putting labels on these things. What do you need relationship label for? You're only going to give her false hope. It's not good karma to lead people on.
With girls who are in love with you, the easiest thing is to be brutally honest about your intentions. Most of the time, they just accept and they'd rather have a part share in a strong guy than exclusive access to a weakling.
sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
- Messages
- 4,468
- Reaction score
- 3,402
Imo....
You seem to think you can handle the relationship if it becomes an open one. I get the feeling that you have never done this before, but you are open to the idea. Therefore I propose that you go in, eyes wide open, tuned into how you are feeling, and try it.
Everything in life had the potential to be a learning experience. Since you are so cognitively aware of the entire situation (i.e. in healthy contemplation of what could go right, and what could go wrong) if you don't mind risking the relationship that you have with her, i say give it a try for the experience.
You may love it, it may be a great fit for you, or you may hate it. But you won't know, the curiosity won't be satisfied, too you give it a shot.
The one issue is that you have to be sure she isn't doing this to try and get back in as a significant other. Are her motives pure? If not, that could complicates things
Good luck
You seem to think you can handle the relationship if it becomes an open one. I get the feeling that you have never done this before, but you are open to the idea. Therefore I propose that you go in, eyes wide open, tuned into how you are feeling, and try it.
Everything in life had the potential to be a learning experience. Since you are so cognitively aware of the entire situation (i.e. in healthy contemplation of what could go right, and what could go wrong) if you don't mind risking the relationship that you have with her, i say give it a try for the experience.
You may love it, it may be a great fit for you, or you may hate it. But you won't know, the curiosity won't be satisfied, too you give it a shot.
The one issue is that you have to be sure she isn't doing this to try and get back in as a significant other. Are her motives pure? If not, that could complicates things
Good luck