"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Thinking about dumping her for that behaviour. Right?

summersky

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Hi everyone,

so the girl im dating right know always seemed to be loyal and on time. She showed signs of high interest.
Few days ago she told me she would call me at a specific time, I said ok. It was like we made up a "phone date". Then I heard nothing and after a half hour she called and acted like nothing happend.

I told her that it can happen that she is too late but that I expected her to apologize. She then got mad told me that I am overreacting over the smallest things and that I am acting like a child. She saw nothing wrong with that behaviour. I told her if she sees nothing wrong with it, then we are not made for each other because I want a loyal woman and I dont want to deal with that behaviour in the future. After that I didnt contact her again. I waited for her to apologize but she didnt.

Thats really sad because she seemed to be really cool. She always apologized for making mistakes or when I felt she wasnt right. This time she is seeing nothing wrong with it.

So do you think I am overreacting about such things? Its not what she did but the fact that she sees nothing wrong with it and dont realizes that it was not cool.

So now I am not talking to her and thinking about telling her that I am done with her.

What do you think?

Regards
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Summersky,
Have you never been late for work?...For Chris'sake grow up!
 

Huffman

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Not only overreacting, but probably overcompensating for all sorts of insecurity.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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guru1000

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1) You are confusing a bf/gf with an employer/employee relation. In the former, you need to loosen up.

2) Never ask another to apologize. You laid out your grievance. That's enough.

3) Don't be so controlling in personal relations. Always give the subject just enough rope to hang themselves. Watch. And act.
 

BeExcellent

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Your mistake here in my opinion was placing this expectation on a phone call.

You have no idea why she didn't call "on time." Maybe her mother wouldn't let her off the phone, maybe her dog knocked something over she had to clean up, maybe a neighbor chatted her up unexpectedly...absolutely anything could have happened (or nothing too is possible).

How would you react if she demanded an apology for you missing calling her at a time she set? Probably about like she did. You'd think sheesh what a demanding witch...

She is thinking something similar right now.

Your question needs to be more how to save it. One suggestion would be to send her a text or call her & say "Hey, my bad on the phone thing - no harm no foul" and "Hit me up later".

Then go silent until you hear from her. If she likes you, you will hear from her.

We are all human, we all screw up sometimes. I'd do the above to save it so her most recent impression of you isn't "Wow what a controlling jerk!"
 

summersky

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Hi again, thanks for your opinions..

I have to add I dont really care if someone is calling me a half hour later, thats no problem. She was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before calling. She could have texting me...

But what bothers me is, that she saw NOTHING wrong with it. Its about how she thinks and acts. If I get late to work I say sorry. But usually I call before.. Do you get what im saying? What made me angry is, that she didnt even admit that it wasnt cool and made me look like I am the crazy one for bringing that up. I found that kind of disrespectful.

Do you want to be with a partner that is calling or arriving a half hour later and doesnt give a sh*t about that??
 

Tictac

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Hi again, thanks for your opinions..

I have to add I dont really care if someone is calling me a half hour later, thats no problem. She was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before calling. She could have texting me...

But what bothers me is, that she saw NOTHING wrong with it. Its about how she thinks and acts. If I get late to work I say sorry. But usually I call before.. Do you get what im saying? What made me angry is, that she didnt even admit that it wasnt cool and made me look like I am the crazy one for bringing that up. I found that kind of disrespectful.

Do you want to be with a partner that is calling or arriving a half hour later and doesnt give a sh*t about that??
You typed that you DGAS and then typed all about how you did.

The reason she didn't admit that 'it wasn't cool' is because it didn't matter. By getting all bent over it, you are 'the crazy one'. Are you OCD?

Make up your mind and get over yourself. Its pathetic.
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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hockeyfreak79

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Facepalm! She called you out on your child like behavior & you expect an apology?

30mins dude, seriously are you a clock nazi waiting for a call? You should be too damn busy doing your own thing to even notice she called 30mins later. Mental note to yourself, calm the fvck down. You have some work to do if your getting angry over something so petty.

DJs keep composure and their emotions in check. That was a chick move creating drama over something extremely an*l.
 

sodbuster

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it wasn't worth the drama you put into it. Don't let them bother you. MOST aren't worth it. I think I'd have just been so busy I wouldn't have noticed. IF it was a continued problem, then you call her out and dump her. You are expecting adult behavior from a child.
 

Rainman4707

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I think you're overreacting.
 

Desdinova

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Few days ago she told me she would call me at a specific time, I said ok. It was like we made up a "phone date". Then I heard nothing and after a half hour she called and acted like nothing happend.
You put the responsibility into the hands of a woman. That was your error.

If you want a reliable date (and please don't make any more "phone dates"), you need to take charge and say "I will call you" or "I will text you". You simply cannot expect reliability from a woman, period. I guarantee you will experience this with most other women. Take charge of the arrangements and do it yourself.

Women are meant to follow, not lead.
 

mrgoodstuff

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How would ya'll handle a 2nd or 3rd "disrespect" upon an expensive date plan with a female. IE: her girlfriend came into town and she didn't want to leave her alone and your forced to have to find a last second person to join you for the $300 ball game and dinner afterwards?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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dude99

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Hi again, thanks for your opinions..

I have to add I dont really care if someone is calling me a half hour later, thats no problem. She was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before calling. She could have texting me...

But what bothers me is, that she saw NOTHING wrong with it. Its about how she thinks and acts. If I get late to work I say sorry. But usually I call before.. Do you get what im saying? What made me angry is, that she didnt even admit that it wasnt cool and made me look like I am the crazy one for bringing that up. I found that kind of disrespectful.

Do you want to be with a partner that is calling or arriving a half hour later and doesnt give a sh*t about that??
I think in this world today people get offended way too easily. Whether it be peoples oponions/how they dress/what they think etc. I think deep down people get offended just because they want to get offended.

Pick your battles. Women are generally late for everything. Being butt hurt because she was finishing a movie is pretty petty.
 

ZTIME

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Hi again, thanks for your opinions..

I have to add I dont really care if someone is calling me a half hour later, thats no problem. She was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before calling. She could have texting me...

But what bothers me is, that she saw NOTHING wrong with it. Its about how she thinks and acts. If I get late to work I say sorry. But usually I call before.. Do you get what im saying? What made me angry is, that she didnt even admit that it wasnt cool and made me look like I am the crazy one for bringing that up. I found that kind of disrespectful.

Do you want to be with a partner that is calling or arriving a half hour later and doesnt give a sh*t about that??
So since she sees nothing wrong with this traumatic action that she has bestowed upon you, there can be only one answer.

You must immediately kick her to the curb with no looking back! You must except the fact that you must always be right and can never be wrong! You deserve to be the most right dude on the planet, never making the slightest mistake as you plow forward through life.

Now move forward and hunt this unicorn who buys into all of this. And when you find it please be sure to cage it so that you will never miss a minute of your time with your new pet. Of course those minutes will be dictated by you.

Or you could lighten up and enjoy life! Your choice.
 

Yewki

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Hi again, thanks for your opinions..

I have to add I dont really care if someone is calling me a half hour later, thats no problem. She was watching a movie and wanted to finish it before calling. She could have texting me...

But what bothers me is, that she saw NOTHING wrong with it. Its about how she thinks and acts. If I get late to work I say sorry. But usually I call before.. Do you get what im saying? What made me angry is, that she didnt even admit that it wasnt cool and made me look like I am the crazy one for bringing that up. I found that kind of disrespectful.

Do you want to be with a partner that is calling or arriving a half hour later and doesnt give a sh*t about that??
Bro... you f*cked up bad.

The fact you even cared about a female calling you is whack to begin with.

Expecting her to apologize for calling 30 minutes "late" is beyond weak. You have a lot of learning to do.
 

sodbuster

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If some chick stood me up 3 times on expensive nights, I'd question where I rank on her list. SOME are very loyal to friends and will be that loyal to you. MAYBE..... But then 3 times? I'd dump her for the third time. But then I wouldn't do a $300/ night deal until I married her.

You are trying too hard. When you spend that much time and effort, she knows you expect sex. ALL that "Mr Nice Guy" isn't being nice, if your plan is to create an obligation so she has to sleep with you. Take her to cheap places, then if she bangs, it's because she wants to, not because she feels "obligated"
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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