Think my g/f has a crush….

[SkillzthatKillz]

On one of her guy friends. I can kind of tell by the way she acts and talks about him. Like one time I mentioned his name and she got kinda giddy, stuff like that. But one the other hand she also wants a serious relationship with me. Should I believe her? Ok sosuave How should this be handled.

 

[Pathgen]

I would say leave it alone. BUT make sure you keep her interest level up high. If she gets disinterested in you its game over.

And you will come off as a twit if you call her on a friend and she will think you are overprotecting and jelous.

So unless you want to just cut the drama if there is any and end it with this girl i would say just leave it alone. However, if you want to keep her long term i emphasize keeping her more interested in you. If she loses that interest she will start looking for another and he will come into view.

 

[slaog]

What is the guy friend like? How does he behave? Would you class him as an AFC?


She might just like him as a good friend. It depends if he acts friendly towards her or if he is more sexual around her.

 

[SkillzthatKillz]

Yeah hes an afc. He likes her you can tell but wont make a move. She likes him to (point of the post). I just dont get this, she likes him, i can tell, but why wont she just dump me and go after him?

 

[Big B]

Quit being so worried about it. You must keep her interest level high in your relationship. If she is looking to leave and has lost that interest then she might be as good as gone. Keep a good eye on he behavior towards you and if you notice any drastic changes then you might have your answer. Don't confront her about this. If you do it will make you look insecure and like an AFC. Remember you are the prize and if she wants to settle for something else then its whatever. You might even meet a girl that you would consider a friend and maybe give her a taste of her own doings. Sometimes just mirroring there actions will make them think. So many guys get oneitis and there girl thinks she can do what she wants because he is not going anywhere. Well show her in kind of a quiet way that there are other women in your life to and she will likely change her ways.

 

[Kestrel]

On one of her guy friends. I can kind of tell by the way she acts and talks about him. Like one time I mentioned his name and she got kinda giddy, stuff like that. But one the other hand she also wants a serious relationship with me. Should I believe her? Ok sosuave How should this be handled.

Sadly, sometimes your gutfeeling is correct as mine tend to be. So it is a bad sign. But it is still not proof positive. It is also normal to like multiple people, it just deepends who you like more. As long as you continue to built on this relationship, don't have to sweat it. As long as she doesn't start hanging out with him more than you, you are ok. If you suspect she has cross the line with him, then you simply have to decide if she is worth keeping.

 

[DJDamage]

Tell her that you know she and this other AFC like each other, and that you think he is a really "nice" guy too. Tell her that the point of life is to be happy and that you wouldn't mind a bit if she wanted to go out with him instead and that you'll just let the next girl waiting in line to have a run at you.

I am dead serious; say this. She'll cling back on to you like a barnacle.

Normally I agree with you DonS but not this time.

Trying to play "reverse psychology" in this situation in order to seem more suave and by doing so directly telling his g/f that he could easily find a replacement if things don't work out, could end up blowing in his face. I am not saying it couldn't work, all I am saying that you might be putting up a little bit too much mustard on his hotdog for someone who isn't used to eating a whole lot of mustard.

Given that the OP has fears of losing his g/f to another guy, I doubt that he is in a stage of his game that he has alot of tail chasing after him and can psychologically manuver his way out of this. Just being in a situation where you aren't confident in your own game enough from having your g/f stray is probably the major problem here.

Instead of telling the g/f - "look I think I know what's going on here", he should really look into improving his own stock around other ladies by becoming that suave guy. When she sees that he is wanted by other girls then that would drive the fear in her of losing him and raise his stock in her eyes.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Keylog her computer

 

[trv26]

Yeah hes an afc. He likes her you can tell but wont make a move. She likes him to (point of the post). I just dont get this, she likes him, i can tell, but why wont she just dump me and go after him?

he can't be that much of an AFC if your gf is going "all giddy" over him. Does calling him an AFC help you in any way in this matter apart from feeding your ego?

 

[SkillzthatKillz]

This guy is an AFC…he is also very good looking. He is an AFC cause if he was a DJ shed be with him and not me (hey I can admit it). Oh and I have told her many times that if she wants to go for other guys and if she’s not happy with me she can take a walk. Every time she says how much she loves me. I don’t know if I believe that. But why would she say it if she didn’t mean it?

I guess that means…….who the hell knows. My G/F is very good looking and can get any guy she wants. I guess im trying to understand her mentality. If she likes this other guy why not go for him? Why keep me hanging around. And by the way guys, I do have other options if this girl dumped me. I know others girls that want to be with me. Which brings up another question should I sleep around behind her back?

Anyway back to the main point… She likes this guy knows she can get him…why wont she just break it off with me and go for him? Or maybe I do have weak inner game and im better then I think. hmmmmmmm

 

[Rounder]

This guy is an AFC…he is also very good looking. He is an AFC cause if he was a DJ shed be with him and not me (hey I can admit it). Oh and I have told her many times that if she wants to go for other guys and if she’s not happy with me she can take a walk. Every time she says how much she loves me. I don’t know if I believe that. But why would she say it if she didn’t mean it?

Anyway back to the main point… She likes this guy knows she can get him…why wont she just break it off with me and go for him? Or maybe I do have weak inner game and im better then I think. hmmmmmmm

Saying she can go for other guys sounds AFC. Perhaps it's just the way you stated it but it sounds like "oh I want you to be happy, as long as your happy I'm happy, even if that means you're riding another guys dinger, as long as your happy I'm happy". PUKE!

What the hell dude....lift up your skirt and see if your balls are still there. Quit being a pvssy and man up, rock her world...when you see her tonight look her in the eyes and lay on a kiss on her she'll remember the rest of her life. If you want her, I mean really want her - lay that same kiss on her in front of other people.

Perhaps if she knows she could have the guy that's why she doesn't want him, he's not a challenge.

You almost sound like you want her to break it off, like you want her to leave rather than doing it yourself. So what if the guy is good looking? There is always someone better looking, someone smarter, someone more athletic, etc, you can't worry about that.

It almost sounds like you are failing at "The Active Test" as Squirrels put it in this post - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=134995

Are you good at picking them up but then fail to hang on because you really don't have much to offer?

Figure out what you want and then do it.

 

[Igetit!]

This guy is an AFC…he is also very good looking. He is an AFC cause if he was a DJ shed be with him and not me (hey I can admit it). Oh and I have told her many times that if she wants to go for other guys and if she’s not happy with me she can take a walk. Every time she says how much she loves me. I don’t know if I believe that. But why would she say it if she didn’t mean it?

I guess that means…….who the hell knows. My G/F is very good looking and can get any guy she wants. I guess im trying to understand her mentality. If she likes this other guy why not go for him? Why keep me hanging around. And by the way guys, I do have other options if this girl dumped me. I know others girls that want to be with me. Which brings up another question should I sleep around behind her back?

Anyway back to the main point… She likes this guy knows she can get him…why wont she just break it off with me and go for him? Or maybe I do have weak inner game and im better then I think. hmmmmmmm

Man,your whole mindset if off. You need to read what you just wrote and imagine if some other guy was saying it. It sounds like an afc talking. You sound insecure,self-doubting,and unconfident. Look at what you said. You say that you have told her many times that if she wants to go for other guys and if she's not happy with you she can walk. It's as if you keep saying that to her hoping that she'll reassure you that she's not going anywhere. One of these days you're going to say that to her and she's going to take you up on it. Don't believe me? Keep saying it.

My G/F is very good looking and can get any guy she wants. If she likes this other guy why not go for him? Why keep me hanging around.

Dude,what's the deal with this? You asked why shouldn't she go for him. What,is there something about him that makes him better than you? Is there something about you that makes you worse than him? It's almost as if you're somehow encourging her to dump you for him. You say she's very good looking,therefore she can have any guy she wants. Well,what if that guy is you? Is that ok? Is it ok if out of all the guys she could have,she chooses to be with you? Or is that just too hard for you to believe?

Man,I hate it when guys say things like that. There's a thread on here called "Why is Beyonce with Jay-Z?". Well,who is she supposed to be with?
It's like whenever a girl is like super hot/hb10,and she has a boyfriend,you get guys saying things like,"Man,she's so hot,she can have any guy she wants. So why is she with him?". Well hb10s have to date somebody. "Well,why is she with him?" Well,who's she supposed to be with? Somebody has to date her.

You asked why she won't just break it off with you and go be with this other guy. Maybe you're the guy she wants,you ever think about that? You won over a 10,so get over the shock of having such an attractive girlfriend and just enjoy being with her. She's going to date somebody,right?

 

[Rounder]

You won over a 10,so get over the shock of having such an attractive girlfriend and just enjoy being with her.

This is why I think many guys can't handle dating a really hot girl. Hot women are going to be approached daily and many times each day. They are going to get attention from men everywhere they go. What's more is they are accustomed to that attention. They learn to expect that attention and have their life made easier in many small ways because of it.

 

[Poise]

Hot women are going to be approached daily and many times each day. They are going to get attention from men everywhere they go. What's more is they are accustomed to that attention.

Outside of a nightclub? Not really. Most people will just stare. Even in a nightclub, if you spot the really hot bartender (hired to be hot), she'll probably only really get hit on directly by like 1 out of 30 guys. Watch next time you're out, the number of guys that will actually directly hit on a hot girl is low, like 1 out of 10 if that.

Tell her that you know she and this other AFC like each other, and that you think he is a really "nice" guy too. Tell her that the point of life is to be happy and that you wouldn't mind a bit if she wanted to go out with him instead and that you'll just let the next girl waiting in line to have a run at you.

I am dead serious; say this. She'll cling back on to you like a barnacle.

Two problems:
1. The girl is attracted
2. The girl will probably just go, "Really, okay!"

Think about this hard: It's easier for a girl to get guys than vice-versa. You can probably replace him faster than he can replace her. That is, unless you're starring in the next Holly blockbuster soon?

What you should do is act like you're not threatened at all. Just be cool about it like, "Whatever, whatever makes you happy haha."

Everytime I bring a girl to a nightclub, some guy is going to try and jack the dance or pick her up when I'm in the bathroom. Usually this happens a lot if the girl isn't the same race as me, but if she is at least 1 white guy is bound to try anyways. All I do is smile and go, "It's up to you." Because in reality, it really is, and I know I'm way better than the guys that try and do this anyways so it's her mistake if she does leave.

he can't be that much of an AFC if your gf is going "all giddy" over him. Does calling him an AFC help you in any way in this matter apart from feeding your ego?

AFC has become a term used in the community by geeks to label other people who aren't in the community. AFCs tend to be the regular guys with social skills, tons of female friends, and a life.

This guy is an AFC…he is also very good looking. He is an AFC cause if he was a DJ shed be with him and not me (hey I can admit it).

Chances are if he's good looking...
1. He already has a girl, or girls.
2. He knows he can get your girl anytime without trying. She's already attracted and he hasn't really done anything but look good, so he's half way there.
3. He's not on a forum trying to analyze whether you're an AFC or not.

 

[SkillzthatKillz]

Wow some of you are harsh (poise trv26). What’s with that? You can be an afc and still have women attracted to you. Anyway, so I guess what everyone is trying to tell me is to work on my inner game, don't care and let whatever happens….happen. Fair enough.

 

[DonGorgon]

On one of her guy friends. I can kind of tell by the way she acts and talks about him. Like one time I mentioned his name and she got kinda giddy, stuff like that. But one the other hand she also wants a serious relationship with me. Should I believe her? Ok sosuave How should this be handled.

TAKE THIS REAL ADVICE:

HUmans are not dedicated or monogamus...
Dont waste time trying to make them be that way..
JUst make sure you are getting what you want with as little Effort as possible for as long as possible then move on when YOUR time is up, which it will be eventually.

She has a crush/wants to F many many guys and you should be wanting to f many girls to even the power balance... So go find you some females to crush on.. So when she cheats on you and or leaves you you wont be alone , sad and desperate...

 

[DJVladdy]

think my gf has a crush...

...on Obama!

 

[Juan_Man]

It's not a big deal. I've had girls who were in relationships show attraction to me. But guess who they ended up marrying? The guys they were in relationships with.

 

[MacAvoy]

I think your all missing a very important factor here before your giving advice. I think it largely depends on the OP's age and his g/f's age.

Knowing how mature they are, they're current position in life are probably just as important as the AFCness/confidence etc....

My advice is going to change dramatically if he's 24 compared to 29.

 

[trv26]

Wow some of you are harsh (poise trv26).

OK I guess I was a little harsh, and I apologise for that but your case for him being an AFC was (still is) quite bad.

So, according to you, a guy who doesn't hit on your gf is an AFC? Have you considered he doesn't really care for your gf? Or perhaps he has a bit of morals which prevent him from hitting on her? Or perhaps he's just waiting for the right moment, who knows he might as her out tomorrow. I could go on....

Another thing good looking guys do not need to spit game. They have girls making themselves available to them. So just because he does not act like your typical "DJ" does not mean he is an AFC. You say your gf is extremely attractive. Perhaps she's not as attractive as you think. If she is in fact attractive(and I've no reason to doubt you on this), and going giddy over him, then consider how many average girls are doing the same.

He probably does not need to act tough etc. leading you to label him an AFC. But if nothing else his looks still gets him laid more than your average guy, hence he's not AverageFrustratedChump.

But I'm probbly just nitpicking...