Think I've experienced my first BPD

[JonnyD123]

Could really use your help on this one sosuave. Seems as though there's a lot of experience with bpd girls on this forum, and I've recently gone through a train wreck of a breakup where I've now come to the conclusion she may have bpd and never told me.

Some indicators for me were that she took pills. A lot of them. According to her they were for allergies, but damn near like 4-5 a day. She's gone through my phone/iPad multiple times, with no remorse even though I had never given her a reason to. The sex was amazing, but she did like to be choked. And last but not least, three days before the breakup she told me she loved me, then during the breakup she told me she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. Deleted me on FB, blocked me on IG. Currently going NC but it's a struggle. What does this sound like to? Any other major red flags you've come across? Thanks for your help.

 

[dude99]

Could really use your help on this one sosuave. Seems as though there's a lot of experience with bpd girls on this forum, and I've recently gone through a train wreck of a breakup where I've now come to the conclusion she may have bpd and never told me.

Some indicators for me were that she took pills. A lot of them. According to her they were for allergies, but damn near like 4-5 a day. She's gone through my phone/iPad multiple times, with no remorse even though I had never given her a reason to. The sex was amazing, but she did like to be choked. And last but not least, three days before the breakup she told me she loved me, then during the breakup she told me she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. Deleted me on FB, blocked me on IG. Currently going NC but it's a struggle. What does this sound like to? Any other major red flags you've come across? Thanks for your help.

Could be bpd. Could just be a game playing woman. At this point she is an ex.

Next her. NC ever again. No second chances. Go meet new women

 

[hockeyfreak79]

BPD includes physical violence. Now even if she wasn't violent the remaining "traits" are still immensely difficult to go throught. But the signs were all there. I've been there. You are a sucker for believing her the pills were for allergies.

Listen to this and believe me woman will NEVER just flat out tell you their red flags. This is true just for people in general. You will never really know a woman in their fullest existence. Their were things about my ex wf that I didn't learn until 6-7yrs later.

The red flags you probably missed is she went through trauma in past relations and the circle of life came back around and she took it out on you. The best you can do is just forget about her and move on with your life.

 

[btownbuck2012]

BPD includes physical violence. Now even if she wasn't violent the remaining "traits" are still immensely difficult to go throught. But the signs where all there. You man but you are sucker for believing her that her pills were for allergies.

Listen to this and believe me woman will NEVER just flat out tell you their red flags. This is true just for people in general. You will never really know a woman in their fullest existence. Their were things about my ex wf that I didn't learn until 6-7yrs later.

The red flags you probably missed is she went through trauma in past relations and the circle of life came back around and she took it out on you. The best you can do is just forget about her and move on with your life.

Can you expand on these two things? What was she able to hide that long?

And with other relationships, are you talking about with men or within her family or both?

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Can you expand on these two things? What was she able to hide that long?

That's a deep rabbit whole but mainly it had to do with psychology issues. There are older threads I've written about it.

And with other relationships, are you talking about with men or within her family or both?

This was specific to OPs ex but yes it could be both but more than likely with men. Woman tend to struggle with "self" identity in their younger years. They will keep traits of their past ex's wether it's hobbies or even personality.

 

[Skyline]

Talking like a baby is a big indicator for me. Like literally baby talk.

If it will help you get over her, then yes she has BPD. It's best to assume the worst in these ex situations so you can get over her more quickly.

 

[bigneil]

Oh, God.

BPD is code for a girl who was really attracted to you and then lost all attraction.

It takes an amazing amount of arrogance to suggest that a woman has a mental health disorder if she doesn't stay with a given man.

Women have more options. They must choose a finite number of men from a larger pool. The men who don't make the cut feel sad. There is no real reason she left except that she liked someone else more.

Only 1% of the women who men say BPD actually has a mental health disorder, I estimate.

 

[051AV]

You wouldn't know she's a BPD till months into a relationship they don't drop that bomb on you right away they hide the fact they are BPD, the woman you were with just sounds like she has issues. Anyhow kick this one to the curb and move on, she's got issues you don't want to deal with.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

BPD is code for a girl who was really attracted to you and then lost all attraction.

I disagree.

This is a legitimate disorder with 9 criteria that affects about 3% of the population that we know of, but it is believed to be heavily under reported because one one of the symptoms is denial. If a girl consistently meets 5/9, she's BPD. The OP didn't give a ton of details but she seemed to fit a few right off the bat.

It takes an amazing amount of arrogance to suggest that a woman has a mental health disorder if she doesn't stay with a given man.

"Not wanting to stay" with a man is different from going through his phone, reckless behavior with pills, and extreme hot/cold over a 3 day span. This isn't normal behavior even for women.

 

[El Payaso]

Don't waste another moment thinking about her. The more you think about her, the more obsessed you will become.

Block and delete her. Focus on your life, school, work, hobbies, friends, other women etc.

She's dead to you. History.

 

[wolf]

Water seeks it's own level. Look at yourself first and work out what attracted you to her and what attracted her to you. Break it down and work on any faults you have. It is any Cluster B Womans job to enter your life and show you where all of your weak points are so that you can fix them. If you didn't have weak points then no BPD/NPD/HPD/Sociopath/Psychopath would even get close enough to you to use and abuse you. I see too many guys looking for validation that their ex was 'crazy' so their Ego can remain intact. Then they go out and hook themselves another Cluster B Woman and repeat the same pattern all over again... Look inside yourself OP!

 

[Infern0]

Could really use your help on this one sosuave. Seems as though there's a lot of experience with bpd girls on this forum, and I've recently gone through a train wreck of a breakup where I've now come to the conclusion she may have bpd and never told me.

Some indicators for me were that she took pills. A lot of them. According to her they were for allergies, but damn near like 4-5 a day. She's gone through my phone/iPad multiple times, with no remorse even though I had never given her a reason to. The sex was amazing, but she did like to be choked. And last but not least, three days before the breakup she told me she loved me, then during the breakup she told me she hated me and never wanted to talk to me again. Deleted me on FB, blocked me on IG. Currently going NC but it's a struggle. What does this sound like to? Any other major red flags you've come across? Thanks for your help.

There are red flags there but nowhere near enough to call bpd on this one.

Regardless though just from what you've said I don't think she was worth the time.

 

[Infern0]

BPD includes physical violence. Now even if she wasn't violent the remaining "traits" are still immensely difficult to go throught. But the signs were all there. I've been there. You are a sucker for believing her the pills were for allergies.

Listen to this and believe me woman will NEVER just flat out tell you their red flags. This is true just for people in general. You will never really know a woman in their fullest existence. Their were things about my ex wf that I didn't learn until 6-7yrs later.

The red flags you probably missed is she went through trauma in past relations and the circle of life came back around and she took it out on you. The best you can do is just forget about her and move on with your life.

Not always.

My ex was diagnosed BPD and GAD and was a particularly bad case of it. She was never physically violent though. She was a crier and screamer and self harmer

 

[SuckItUp]

In the end it doesn't really matter. The girl was toxic for you (she might be toxic for all men as well), and you failed to recognize the red flags and act on them. The only thing you can work on is taking a harder line on red flags and avoiding rationalizing them or ignoring them.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Most to all women will develop BPD symptoms once they sense the first symptoms of neediness, onenitis and insecurity though.

 

[bigneil]

I disagree. This is a legitimate disorder with 9 criteria that affects about 3% of the population that we know of, but it is believed to be heavily under reported because one one of the symptoms is denial. If a girl consistently meets 5/9, she's BPD. The OP didn't give a ton of details.

Ok, then BPD is only exaggerrated by 97% as opposed to 100%.

Heavily under reported? You mean it is actually normal behavior?

Well you guys can at least be thankful that when my young women flake on me I never say it's a because they have a mental disorder. I told my last girl the reason she flaked was because she was smart.

 

[Infern0]

Most to all women will develop BPD symptoms once they sense the first symptoms of neediness, onenitis and insecurity though.

If we are defining the symptoms of bpd as being distant/bitchy/looking for an upgrade then yes.

Those can be somewhat mitigated by handling your BPD in the correct manner, the true bpd traits though you can't do anything about.

 

[Infern0]

Ok, then BPD is only exaggerrated by 97% as opposed to 100%.

Heavily under reported? You mean it is actually normal behavior?

Well you guys can at least be thankful that when my young women flake on me I never say it's a because they have a mental disorder. I told my last girl the reason she flaked was because she was smart.

Big boy you grew up many years ago before the advent of social media and the rise of feminism. I'm telling you for a fact bpd is in more than 3% of women age 18-25.

It's on the rise, the reason being back in your era that sort of behaviour was stamped out, whereas in today's society we ****ing enable it.

Thing is (and I know this from being a former afc) if you have rock solid frame they can't really effect you, so you might encounter one and think she's just a dumb immature ***** and next her without a thought.

But to an AFC that same girl is extremely dangerous.

Point being it's all in the eye of the beholder

 

[bigneil]

It's on the rise, the reason being back in your era that sort of behaviour was stamped out, whereas in today's society we ****ing enable it.

Ok, so maybe it's 6%. That's a 1 in 16 chance the girl you are dating has BPD. Most of these men have not had sex with 16 women.

What we are enabling is feminized men who take bathroom mirror selfies.

 

[Infern0]

Ok, so maybe it's 6%. That's a 1 in 16 chance the girl you are dating has BPD. Most of these men have not had sex with 16 women.

What we are enabling is feminized men who take bathroom mirror selfies.

Can't say I disagree.

I'm of the opinion that making pussified men is making the bpd thing WORSE

women have no strong male leadership these days. Literal insanity is the result.